How do I recover after coming on too strong?

I was set up with this girl for her sorority formal just because our mutual friends said that we are actually quite alike. She has sort of a distant / standoffish personality, which I really love for some reason. But anyways we went to formal and had a great time and even made out. I eventually asked her out the following week for a dinner and a movie. We had a great time there too. Even got a kiss at the end. However, I think I may have smothered her a little bit. We started texting quite a bit but that wasn't really going anywhere. She told me that I came off very forward and that she wasn't used to that. I played it off like nothing was up but the more I texted her the more distant she seemed. She really didn't follow through on any of our plans so eventually I just asked her if there's anything up between us two to which she replied "we don't need to take this too fast and I'm just dating around right now". I haven't talked to her since then because my other friend told me that I should give it some time. Haven't spoken to her in around a month by the way. Any ideas on how to recover from this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been in the same position as the girl before, she probably said it because it all come across as rushed and she isn't sure if she wants to continue if you're going to rush into everything else as well. Don't smother her with messages and when you text don't over do it with asking for another date or telling her how you feel etc.. If you're going to message her just say something simple like 'Hey how are you? :) Long time no speak!' and go from there, don't mention anything to do with a date or what happened before and try a fresh start. If she doesn't respond just take the hint that nothing can be done at all and she's not that interested.

    • That's what my friend was telling me to do but say if she is responsive where would I go from there? How would I ask her out again if I keep the conversation that light?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe send her a text saying you'd like to get together (a date). If she responds, you're in - tread lightly! If she doesn't respond, sorry buddy, you ruined your chances the first go round.

    • I haven't spoken to her in a while wouldn't that be weird? How can I casually just say will you go out with me again?

  • You can't. She's not interested. She basically told you she wanted to see other people.

    • You don't think there's anything I can do to change her mind? She really vibed with me at first so I was hoping to bring that back somehow.

What Guys Said 1

  • She said she is dating around? If a girl said that to me I'd never talk to her again lol!
    If I'm spending time with a girl I want exclusivity, if she can't give me that then the 5 other guys can have her i don't care, I'll just find another girl that's looking for the same thing I am.