Why do guys say they want to date wife material but then don't want her when they meet one?

im so sick of dating I'm so tired of going on dates and guys being like wow ur so smart ur a wifey ur beautiful u have a good head on ur shoulders ur funny easy to talk to fun to hang out with.. like every guy i meet sais this.. then after all that it still goes no where they still don't wanna date, wtf i just don't get it, its to the point now that I'm just like yea yea when they say that stuff.. guys always say thats the type a girl they want but don't go for it when its in front of them. should i just be a slut? those girls seem to get bf faster than i am.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is more to it than you mentioned. I think you should ask one or two of these guys what went wrong, making it clear you are looking for honest help. If a guy is really looking for a wife type, then if he finds here he will try to marry her. So find out what is happening with the guys you are dating.

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    • well one down fall i have is i do have walls up and the more i like them the less i text them. i get scared of coming across as needy to the point that i think i come across as uninterested. 2 guys did say to me why don't u ever text me? maybe thats the problem. but I'm so scared of getting hurt i think i shut down. u just made me realize my problem i think

    • Well, I hope now that you see a problem you are able to overcome it. Good luck.

    • thank you

What Guys Said 7

  • Wow, it sounds like the female version of me, lol. I always ask why women profess to want a nice, sensitive guy, then date douchebags. As for women I don't know if you are like this but the common things "wife material" women do that men don't like are trying to change or manipulate men and not wanting to experiment in bed. "Sluts" on the other hand are more likely to accept men for who they are and not try to change and manipulate them, and are much more likely to experiment in bed.

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    • well i deff don't have a prob in the sex department if anything I've been called sensual and very sexual.
      no I'm not a prude but i do expect dates first.
      but trying to change a guy what do u mean by that? i call them out on there bull shit but no i don't tell them what to do or how to live there life.. like i do say things like i don't want to be a booty call and i don't share my guy.. is that changing him?

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    • Maybe you should look me up ;)

    • possibly….

  • That probably isn't the reason why they turn you down. It's a bit more complicated than that. "Sluts" just get sexual interaction quicker, by the way.

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    • what else could it be? I'm not a gold digger i always offer to pay when we go out to eat, the down fall i have is i can be moody at times but what girl isn't and i can't see that being a deal breaker.
      slutty girls still end up dating a guy I've been single for over a year now

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    • I don't know you well enough to be able to tell you the answer to that, and it varies from person to person, so I'm not sure what to say :)

    • yea true.. thank you tho

  • Sounds to me like they are just telling you what you want to hear, hoping you give up some sex, then when you don't, they're gone. Also, what's your attitude like when you get to the point where he says this stuff? Are you already expecting them to be out the door?

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  • Well they could just be telling you what you want to hear, or maybe they just don't want to settle down yet. I really don't know. Also the "sluts" might be able to get boyfriends easily but they usually can't keep them for very long.

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    • hmm that may be a good point. yea normally I'm in long term relationships, my last one was 7yrs.
      i think ur right there not ready cuz there still single not dating the guys i mean.

    • If a guys not ready to settle down he'll go for the "easy" girls but when he wants a relationship, he'll go for the "wifey" girls.

  • "Wifey" is not a term I use

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  • Typically we assume she's too good for us or is already taken

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    • hmm good point.. but deff not the already taken part. cuz i wouldn't be goin on dates with them if i was taken, I'm sure they would assume that

  • Some guys will say that to get in your pants. Sure you can be a slut but then you're going to dig yourself a deeper hole. You're going after the wrong men.

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