What to do when a woman gets scared off by the relationship conversation?

I was seeing a woman for 3 months. I'm pretty sure she was starting to fall in love with me. During the 3rd month she was texting me every day asking what I was doing and half the time she didn't even give me the chance to ask her out, she'd just say she wanted to see me and ask to stop by my apartment or meet me for dinner.

Everything was going great as far as I could tell, but I've made the mistake of being the one to bring up the relationship talk in the past so I was purposely waiting for her to bring it up. And I could tell she wasn't quite ready yet anyway. The problem started when my friend kept insisting I go out dates with other women, which would have been fine except he kept trying to set me up with a woman that was friends with a friend of the woman I'm seeing.

He gave her my number, and she was constantly texting me, and asking my friend why I wasn't replying. Slightly stalkerish. This lasted for like two weeks and the woman I'm seeing eventually found out. She "ambushed" me about it while driving when I was dropping her back at her place after a date.

She said "so, I hear you're hanging out with [name]". I was an idiot and answered the question, saying no I didn't go out with her at all. Then she said "well you can if you want, you know we're not a couple right?". Then she started to give me the "I'm not ready for a relationship right now and we should just be friends speech". I told her I didn't want to be just friends, so we said goodbye and she gave me the biggest hug she's ever given me and she started to cry as she got in her car and I walked away. I haven't talked to her in two weeks now. I guess the only thing to do now is wait and resist the urge to chase.

What could I have done differently? Do I have a right to be angry at my friend for giving out my number to women without my permission? If she does contact me again, should I pretend like the conversation never happened and just ask her out to go have some fun like we used to?


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  • Umm just tell her the truth and get your friend to back you up if needed?

    And yes I'd be annoyed with my friend for that.

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