Who suffers more in heartbreaks' Men or Women?

A recent survey by Elite Singles found that when it came to being lovesick, it's the guys who suffer the most. Of the 95 percent of those surveyed who admitted to being lovesick at some point in their lives, 25 percent more men suffer from lovesickness than women at a relationship's demise. But why?

According to psychologist, Dr. Wiebke Neberich, the cause could be steeped in the fact that "women are more often the one to break off the relationship, and men have a propensity to overestimate a woman's interest, meaning that they also get brushed off and suffer from unrequited love more often."

  • I'm a man and admit to have been heartbroken
    5% (10)96% (182)49% (192)Vote
  • I am a woman and admit to have been heartbroken
    95% (189)4% (7)51% (196)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Its a pretty close poll, but at this point men are leading in heart break.
I thank everyone for there comments and opinions weather you agreed with the study, or not, it really generated fruitful thought, and really gave insightful understanding of how beautiful men and womens emotional mind is... I side with the study, based on questionnaires and many different scenarios, however studies do tend to change, and as we evolve, so do our mind concerning our emotions. Chow, babies... by the way concerning tho poll it look even, good job guys and dolls!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it honestly depends on who is more emotionally invested in the relationship. I've never been in a relationship, so I can't speak for myself when it comes to that. I've had crushes but I know that heartbreak from a crush doesn't compare to one from a relationship. Based on what I've seen from friends who have had a relationship, I have seen that both genders can really suffer greatly. One thing I have noticed though out of my friends is that girls are heartbroken, but they seem to move on quicker. For men, I've seen that it takes them a while longer to move on again. So going with the question from what I've seen from my own friends and co-workers, it's men who do. They move on slower. than women do.

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    • Nice!!! However they still hurt, and if you get plenty of them they hurt more...

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    • Yeah we still talk. He wanted an opportunity with her. She was 24 and prettier. So he couldn't have been that interested in me. I must have mistaken his kindness for something more.

    • Well his loss, he probably did you a favor!!!

What Girls Said 51

  • It depends on who loved who more. I broke up with both of my ex bfs cuz they cheated on me. I never cheated on either of them. I didn't wanna have to deal with liars or cheaters, if neither of them did that, I wouldn't break up. But I'm not gonna stay with someone who disrespects me. I loved them, I especially really loved and still love my most recent ex, but I can't stay with a cheater. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

    Also, I feel that women probably can get over it sooner cuz we're allowed to express our feelings more openly. When I break up, my mama, sisters and female friends and even some male friends are there to comfort me and help me feel better. I don't know if men would have the same moral support. I think it'd be great if they did cuz sometimes it's good to vent and reflect. Sure, it helps when alone, but with others it's nice too. No matter how "forever alone" we may claim to be, humans are social creatures, so to have others there for you is always nice.

    [IMG]http://i61.tinypic.com/6404zd.jpg[/IMG]

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    • Excellent answer, I was telling someone the other day, we men have a higher propensity to cheat, instead of moving on, however some of these statistics and studies come from average guys, who underestimate the interest level of their companion, they move too fast, become push, needy, and the woman loose interest. Most beautiful women have options and will string in average 3-4 males along, platonically in hopes of something real, until the female decides to make a choice, and leave the others wondering. I have a a lot of male friends who are very confused by what women want, as if average men, would do something that a pretty boy would do also, the average guy won't cut it, where as the pretty boy would get a pass... human nature I suppose... very good comment on your part I really appreciate it.

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    • @asker @NoDoubt thank you :)

    • You're welcome :-)

  • Women. Too often men control the relationships, the timing of them, the initial contacts. I also think men are more prone to cheat causing heartache. Women fall faster and easier, so are more likely to be broken hearted before a guy has even committed. Also men can separate sex and love to a degree most women can't, so women are more likely to think sex is meaningful although the man isn't remotely on the same page.

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    • it takes women TWO WEEKS to fall in love, men less than an hour. So technically a meaningless one night stand can't break your heart. And come on, what'd you expect?
      Maybe look at pyramid_princess' logic again?

    • No offense and all due respect, this might be one study that supports a guy "falling in love in an hour," but it flies in the face of numerous studies that show differently. It's all good though, numbers can be manipulated any way they need to be for both sides.

      The "one night stand" logic is physiological due to the bonding effects of oxytocin (which men do not release in the same quantity); this is a factual statement backed by numerous studies. It is why I don't even go there :P

      No doubt, both genders are capable if being squashed. I think it is more person-specific rather than gender specific; some people fall easily, others don't.

  • I think it's more likely to be women... that study though could possibly have to do with how guys cope with heartbreak. Girls generally get over being heart broken faster than guys ( that is guys who were TRULY in love and not just some player) because we are able to talk about our emotions and let it all out where as guys are unfortunately expected to bottle it all in and keep it to themselves.

    What I am certain about though is that we all feel heart break at some point and it sure as hell doesn't feel good.

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    • I like your comment. I completely agree.

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    • Because those options are well, existent. And also I don't include bars and clubs in this because I don't meet decent guys there I mean I haven't been asked out by a normal decent guy for years.

  • I've been heartbroken twice and I've broken two hearts myself.

    Funnily enough, one of the hearts I've broken (as well as one of the guys who broke my heart) is my boyfriend now. I feel really bad about hurting him and he feels really bad about hurting me, but we decided to call it even and not to bring it up anymore. :P

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    • Awesome so redemption for the both of you has resulted into a peace treaty... LOL that'll work, thanxs for your comment.

  • I think no matter what the gender is, the one who loved more the other is the one who's hurt more. But then, it'll be easier for girls to move on, I guess. Because we are more open on talking about feelings with others while guys tend to suffer alone.

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  • whenever someone's breaking my heart, i feel so sad that i cry, cry, cry, cry..
    and when i feels so sad that i cry, i eat, eat, eat, eat, eat..
    and when i feels so sad that i cry and eat, i gain weight. WHICH IS hurts my heart even more, so i vote for a woman.

    thanks for asking :')

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    • No, Thank you do such a great insight as to how you feel... I like this study, and although I side with it, I am learning that it is not indicative of the entire world, that is why I have brought it to tho site, so that I may learn what others think... breakups are hard for all of us

    • Yeah, I think that's the real answer, " breakups are hard for all of us " ;)

  • I feel women do. Men move on so easily. They are hurt for no more than a week and then its like the female never existed.

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    • I feel you 😭😭

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    • Really? Every single girl I ever dated moved on to a new guy within a month. They have the privilege of expecting new guys to come to them. They also have the privilege of most people agreeing that he was the bad guy and you are the good girl. We talk a lot about how men don't deserve women, and a lot of how all women deserve love.

    • I don't think men don't deserve women, and I do think there are both horrible men and women alike. Just my experience that men will move on quick if the woman shows any interest. Good men and women can't seem to find each other because so many poor men and women are willing to play the role and be of easy access in so may ways.

  • Men are much deeper lovers than women, so I'd say men. However, they don't like to show their emotions so you'll never know.

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  • men. i think they love harder, we are just more emotional about it. we have our pick. we are pursued all the time. "can i get the door for you? can i get you some d***?"

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  • I might be biased, I feel it is women

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  • I'd say women have it harder just because I think we tend to feel things more. We fall in love quicker, we fall out of love slower. A lot of the time we show a ton of passion an feeling and so after we feel like they've been cast aside

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    • How do women fall in love quicker and out of love slower? It's very subjective. The fact that the dating scene is all about guys approaching girls and winning their heart would suggest that guys fall in love quicker.

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    • Yes I'd agree guys fall in love quicker. The woman kind of has to differentiate if she is in love or just likes the attention. I was the slower one.

    • Really about all if my friend have said they where the first to fall in lice an the first to say I love you

  • Men hide their emotions better than women. A womans heartbreak is behind her tears, but a mans heartbreak is behind his smile. So a woman breaks on the outside and a man on the inside. Men won't opendly admit how hurt they are like women do. So i think there is a lot more broken hearted men around than we realize.

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  • I believe men suffer the most especially since they have to act/pretend to be tough and play the i don't have feelings or emotions card compared to women that usually have friends they can open up and talk to about it without being called a pussy i feel like when a guy actually falls in love not just likes a girl because she has huge tits i feel like its really deep and strong

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  • I think both genders are similar. But often women have a better emotional support group and can repair better through friends and family. Where men are taught to brush it off and move on when in reality they aren't dealing with it and never completely heal. It hurts no matter what gender but that's life

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  • Most of the time its both genders but I think its girls more a lot of times guys don't see it but when the girl is alone she tends to let it out but then again both genders brush it off too so I can't say but I think girls take it hardee but then guys sometimes can't get their mind off of it

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    • Yeah, I can see were your coming from, however, men's egos is what make it tougher for us, we may move on quicker, but the bitterness is still lodged in our hearts causing more mistakes with the next relationships. Also, men statistically are not too picky, women are, so women's choices will hurt a guy, who you thought was a nice guy, and you'd keep him around as a friend, he expressed his undying love, because all the time spent, and then all he gets is, "sorry, I dont like you in that way, your like a brother to me," that also is a part of heartbreak, not just a romantic sense, but hope deferred by ones heart period.

    • And I understand where your coming from toobut all woman aren't like that with me I go for the nice guys but I understand what your saying

      ok so by this question and your response in guessing something happened to you

  • I think girls for the most part are hit the hardest in the beginning. They deal with their emotions right away and make sure they are over their ex before they move on.

    A lot of guys - not all - try to hide their feelings/hurt initially, forcing them to internalize their feelings more then girls do. They are able to move on faster to "casual" relationships but take longer to become emotionally available again.

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  • Depends on the type of a relationship, who was into whom more, why they split and who ended it.

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  • Women can be heartbreakers too. I'm guilty lol

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  • interesting

    though from my experience it's usually the women who suffer more, the guys somehow move onto the next chick like the wind quickly passing through a window :/

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    • Personally I try to shrug it off and find another girl. I don't necessarily use the next girl to cover or mend a broken heart, it's just a part of the moving on process. That said underlying feelings might exist for a while. I try my hardest to keep the past the past, and not let it haunt me. With past relationships time seems to be the best remedy. Another woman is just a part of the process I guess.

      I wonder if gender roles may play a role in this?

  • men fall in love fast and hard and women are more cautious in love so a man will get heart broken more often but for women it's more severe because for a woman to be in love she has to trust someone.

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  • Women of course ! but i feel like men become weaker than women when it comes to "heartbreak"

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  • Girls. I rember when I had my first heartbreak. I litterly put my self into a candy coma. I was crying and would break easily. so girls take more direct hits in heart break then guys

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  • Women, because they tend to be more emotional and vulnerable when it comes to heart break, and emotions in general. But men when it comes to love sickness.

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    • I meant to put men, suffer worse. Women are more emotional, so its easier for them to express their feelings, so they can get over it sooner.

  • I believe it takes men longer to move on but women suffer a shorter intensified heartache.

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  • I have been hurt way to many times to count.

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  • The one who's rejected is always the one who gets their heart broken. However, guys are generally the one who peruse girls so I can see how it's possible for guys to experience that feeling a little more

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  • everyone's mindset is different I think there is no clear cut answer here.

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  • This is a stupid question, we both suffer, and u can't take a fucking survey to test how much we suffer.

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    • Glad you took the time to read my stupid question, I guess out of 130 people including myself, you might be the most brilliant person in the world, thanxs for your positivity and your brilliance, I can tell you will go a long way in life. Oh wait your under 18, yeah you know everything, sorry how rude of me.

    • You can take a survey for anything. Just have to take variables into account. You're very ignorant to believe that it isn't possible.

    • Get your education, graduate with honors, go through life experiences, read carefully, do your own research at a respected university, then you might can call somebody ignorant, but until then learn to be humble and positive, even if you disagree, to be blatantly nasty about is ignorant in it's self.

  • I happened to have cried myself to sleep for weeks, days. I think it all depends on the person, male or female. It even depends on how long y'all were together, your expectancy of the relationship, how close the two of you were. It depends on a variety of things, but if you're like me, I take it very hard and tend to shed a few pounds even.

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    • Can I ask who broke up with who and why? Sorry for your break up... it was hard for me to, as a man its hard to admit it, although we were not good for each other I loved her more than anything in this world... huh

  • hahahaha wow!!! literally 50-50!!

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What Guys Said 61

  • Men have it harder with heartbreaking for several reasons.

    First off women are emotionally coddled and supported more, men are socialized to hide their feelings vs expressing them.

    Second of all most women get consistent attention by guys, which helps boost their ego ("wow I'm still desirable"), aiding in their emotional recovery. Men aren't pursued at even remotely the same level, so we don't get that ego stroke many women do.

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  • With each relationship, the person who has higher hopes will be the one more heartbroken. The amount of feelings invested in the relationship will = the bigger heartbreak. The person who cares less and takes more for granted will not feel anywhere near as much.

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  • Interesting study. I also feel like another factor may be that it is easier (more often than not) for women to find another guy after a relationship. maybe not a deep relationship but at least a guy to move on to and sort of distance themselves from the past relationship. I know that is the case for me. I dealt with "heart break" in two different relationships and in both of those cases the ex's moved on to another guy (usually just a casual relationship with sex) very shortly after the break up

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  • emotions are not something that can't be generalized by gender. Depending on the degree of of brian chemicals that are mixed in ure head the outcome for each individual is different. some people "lust" over exes while others feel more " attachment" towards an ex partner and others seem to move on quick. "love" is never felt at the same level. One can love another more and thus feels more heartbroken if love becomes unrequited. I experienced both, being in a position of being the one who hasn't moved on sucks but you need to train yourself and think logical. Depending on the depth of the relationship more time needs to be spend to "get over it". I think men have a tendency to reminisce more instead of being simply heart broken. Also sometimes for guys depending where you are from its a stigmata to "show signs of weakness" so all these bottled up emotions lead to depression and things like that. I talk very openly about my emotions with my network of friends, especially female friends and I learned to understand myself better. Not everyone has this outlook. In conclusion. I have met people from both genders that reacted different to break ups. I don't think men are in the majority. I have seen girls running after a long past relationship (I am talking years here) and also guys who do so. It is waste of time either way because you will never have what you once had.

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  • media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/.../...37d7df5a79b0.jpg

    I thank the Lord because God is close to the brokenhearted.

    A girl can break your heart and spirit but God comes and puts you back together again.

    I found Jesus after having my heartbroken for the first time. It felt like my heart froze like glass and shattered into pieces. I remember how when I tried talking to another girl and she rejected me how much my heart still hurt. It was actual physical pain. I remember how I grasped my heart with my hand over my chest and winced my eyes in suffering pain and I knew that I wasn't ready for love, again.

    Then I surrendered to God and he gave me a way to heal me which was unbelievable. He showed me how much better he could love me than anyone else could. I am still a work in process, but I really do thank God for giving me healing.

    God always gives you a second chance--and, though, I am still waiting on a second love, I am being prepared in the meantime so that this time I am ready to keep her.

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  • I've never been dumped, but I have been heartbroken over a lost relationship even tho it was mutual. Even tho neither of us wanted it we both knew it was best.

    But in general I would say the difference in a breakup is that girls on average deal with the emotions right away and eventually get over them. While it's more common for guys to ignore the emotions, sweep them under the rug and get started on dating again. Falling into a pattern of dating a string of rebound girls. Girls do this too, but I think it's more common in guys. Down the road they feel these emotions because they never actually dealt with them.

    That being said I've never dated a girl that wasn't at least as broken up as I was at one point or another.

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  • This should suffice.

    www.cosmopolitan.com/.../

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  • I don't even understand how it can be even a little close. Women control sex thus control relationships. Women just go where they want with whom they want. They (and of course I don't mean all women, I am speaking in generalities. so read that Majority) don't take into account the guys feelings. Men typically don't just dump someone with no decent reason. So woman are WAY more at fault for hurting men then the other way around...

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  • I don't think one sex suffers more than the other. Heartbreak is one of the very worst experiences a human can endure. The severity depends on the individual and the level of connection they had with the other person not the gender. I've met guys and girls both going on years without being able to move on and I'm in the midst of it myself. We're in the 21st Century. I think people should be aware enough to realize people are people and that everyone suffers uniquely in their own way and that comparing suffering is irrelevant -- it is horrible for whoever is experiencing it.

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  • I would have to say us men suffer more because we keep these feelings inside and try to keep them bottled up, mainly because in a societal view, women are seen as sensitive and sweet, so it is the norm for them to express emotions openly, whereas with guys, we are (generally) seen as macho and indifferent, it isn't the norm for guys to express our emotions openly, we are called babies and wimps, etc. (I hope I got my point across correctly, I am terrible at explaining things...)

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  • The more effort you put in a relationship, the more broken you will be when it comes crumbling down.

    Heartbreak is both a misogynist and misandrist.

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  • Gosh, it really depends on the situation. What I'm thinking is that how each gender that defines "heartbreak" could be an issue, but that doesn't seem to explain why 25% more men suffer from it at relationship demise. Statistically, women are the ones who end long term relationships more. Since the person who initiated the break-up has had more time to realize how poor the relationship was, the person who was broken up with typically takes it harder; hence why men experience it more often.

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    • Man, I love your comment, short simple sweet, and what I'd been saying all along, too many great comments, who will I give MHO?

  • I think men might have a harder time because in general men "aren't aloud" to express their feelings and get through hard times, as where women can cry and express being upset and go through it better.

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    • Luckily this dynamic is changing. And I feel like men overestimate how turned off people are by emotional men.

      I'm blessed with friends, both guys and girls, who have let me cry and vent my way to recovery.

      But yes, they've actually found that what you said is indeed the case. They found men are more prone to suicide than women after divorces, and men are more likely to turn to drugs or express emotional problems after a breakup. Yet the "men are heartless, so they move right on" view persists. It is, in fact, BECAUSE we feel so much emotion that we shut down.

    • @openclose I agree with you 100% and try to talk about that sort of thing when I see questions here on GaG about male feelings/personality. There is a change coming and I hope schools are going to catch on and start treating boys better too.

  • Guys suffer more mainly because we can't deal with emotions normally and tend to bottle things up and don't go through a morning process for the break up

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  • If i was betting from looking at the GAG questions i see, it is a 50/50 proposition.

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  • Almost every relationship I've seen end during my life was either because the woman left or the woman cheated. Very few times have I seen a case where a man left a woman or cheated on her. Usually though the woman will try to blame the man anyway. If she cheated it's his fault because he didn't make her orgasm enough. If she left him it's because he was abusive or didn't provide for her or blah blah blah. It usually boils down to the woman lusting after another man or not wanting to fulfill her duties in the relationship and leaving to absolve herself of all the responsibility.

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    • Good answer appreciate your feed back!

    • I completely agree - I was thinking about this yesterday - it does seem to be that most guys, when in a relationship, are completely faithful. It's girls' perception that guys are sex - mad, cheating as*holes.. It usually stems from when they were teenagers, and got taken in by someone old enough to be their dad.

    • @Mvc123 Yeah well I also noticed girls are much likely to go for a man who is already in a relationship than men are to go after a woman in a relationship. If a man cheats it's usually because his wife ain't giving him any and some bitch is throwing herself at him. Women on the other hand will actively seek out someone to cheat on their partner with even if they're already getting plenty of sex and all their needs are met, just because they want the excitement. Hell there are even websites specifically for helping married women cheat, and they have commercials for these websites play on Cartoon Network. So yeah, I can't be convinced that men are more likely to cheat. You don't see television shows titled "Desperate Husbands."

  • I think men suffer more heartbreaks because men usually are doomed when their women leave them heartbroken since they don't have as much options compare to women. Women have options with men in general as long as they are not obese or completely ugly. So if a woman had her heart broken by a man, she can find a replacement easier compare to men finding a woman to replace.

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  • I think the average women is profoundly ignorant when it comes to men and their feelings. Who has it worse.. I don't know but does it matter?

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  • I guess both suffers equally but women get more support from both genders and will be offered more chances to get back into a relationship. As for a guy he will have to heal himself and be emotionally ready and stable to ask out a girl, which usually is a long process

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  • I would say it depends on what happens in the breakup. My ex-fiance cheated on me and really broke my heart. I have never really trusted women since that. I realize that is not fair to other women to compare them to her, but once you are cheated on I guess all you see is the bad not the good. I've lost so much weight it is not funny.

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    • Man that's horrible sort bro... you know I am learning a lot from this study... trust me I understand how you feel.

  • Yeah, I'm more in favor of men gets hurt just a little more than females do, speaking for myself and "voicing" my own opinion, I prefer to keep my emotions bottled up and that usually results in some destructive breakdowns. ( most certainly not pretty.)

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  • This poll is just so poorly made. You need to have a not heart broken one for each gender otherwise its worthless

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  • I think guys because when we fall for someone and we are serious about it we can be at our most vulnerable with even the slightest of harsh words cutting in us like a thousand blades but looking at some of these comments I think it can be either way.

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    • When u say harsh words cutting like a blade I agree. Guys in love take things very deep.

  • i dont know man, this is a good question. The only thing that i can tell you is that it took me almost two years to get over a girl i was crazy for which it never worked :( Lessone learned though.

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  • Women Dramatize breakups but most men don't, breakups have curves in respect to each gender where just after a breakup a girl tends to have a really bad mood for a month tops but then everything starts to subside while men feel good just after a breakup but 3 - 4 weeks and they start to get all pessimist and lazy.

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  • Whether you are male or female, it does not matter. If you really love the one who is breaking up with you (i. e. you don't want the breakup to happen), your heart will be broken.

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  • Seriously, I must confess, guys suffer heartbreaks but will never admit to have been in dis , they prefer it happening in silence only confined to their heart..
    I once feel dis heartbreak tremor in d past but it was only knew by me...
    Guys re silent sufferers... i admit..

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  • Definitely women, my current girlfriend says when you get broken up with as a girl you get taken back to step one and have to work all the way back to that close point with another guy. However as a guy we can just spring back without working upto that level with someone again, even goto a club the next night and get to know someone.

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    • Yeah, however that's just covering one pain with another, and it affects you later down the line.

    • Yeah I guess it depends how long you've been together, more often than not the guy won't be as into the relationship as the women so in that sense it would affect the women more.

  • With my last relationship, she broke up with me, and I felt really sick and couldn't eat for a couple of days without wanting to throw up. I also sat at home, and ate a lot of junk food, and watched Netflix.

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    • Now, that sounds like something I'd do you just don't want to do anything after an event like that... who you gonna talk too, who can really understand your pain without being called (girly-man)

    • Exactly, and the thing with me is that I really invest in my relationships and really only date someone if I see a future with them. and that might be a bit of my downfall, because I invest so much into my relationships. and yes, it is hard to talk about your feelings when you are a guy, because of the whole concept that guys "can't cry and can't show emotions because it makes them girly, or a pussy" But that's a load of shit. I happen to be a very emotional guy.

    • Yep, and it's awesome you can admit that. Hope you find the woman of your dreams...

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