What is this "Chemistry"?

I am not referring to the central science. I am referring to the romantic thing. I just don't get it. Explain it to me that I may learn how to make it with the ladies?

Updates:
Can "One-Sided" Chemistry exist where a person feels extremely attracted to another who feels absolutely nothing towards them?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's my highly personal perspective.

    The manifestation of chemistry, is like being totally comfortable in another person's presence, like your whole nervous system is silent, like know one another already, like you don't have to contrive anything, fear being 'found out'; like it was destined, almost, to come together.

    Through my experience with spiritual practices, which is more, re-forging the mind body connection (because we're mostly too head based, this is how society conditions us all, unknowingly), there are insights to be derived from other areas of the body, indeed, the body as an integrated unit. Once this comes on-line, or indeed, we uncondition ourselves, it manifests itself far more powerfully. For example, a loving warm warmth you get with certain people, or to be touched by another person sets of explosive waves of energy within your body. Or very occasionally, I get like a pulsating rhythm in my chest, and a deep sense of love and joy, with certain people. But this last one is very elusive. Spiritual practices in this context, I would define, as that one thing, that art, that allows you to centre yourself, and is something to positive to focus on through the drudgery of life. For me it's meditation, kung fu, the like, for others, it may be dancing, or composing music, or what have you.

    The thing you refer to where the attraction may not be mutual may be 'egoism' (which is a horrible meaningless phrase, but I'm forced to describe by using words that have been corrupted). Egoism in this context, is the mind creating little fantasies as a means of *escape* from the things in life that are unpleasant. Bad experiences that keep repeating themselves because one hasn't turned in their direction, dissolved them, wholeheartedly. So the notion of finding a partner from a negative emotional space can be used as a means of escape, and indeed, perhaps nothing good can come of it.

    As Murakami said:

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    • “Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine."

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    • I'm imagining this sandstorm.

    • Yes @harakiri?

What Girls Said 4

  • Chemistry is that unexplained connection, it's what makes u want to stare into another's eyes for hours and not get bored. It's that little spark of excitement and electricity. It's either there or it isn't

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  • I think the term got coined mostly due to the chemical bonds. The level of attraction at the subatomic level is extremely high.

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    • Now I have to look up when the term became popular. >_< I must know!

  • I think it's when
    Two people
    Have a chemical reaction
    For example: having a baby

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    • I don't think babies quite work that way...

    • To be honest...
      It's kind of a chemical reaction
      Because the sperm reacts inside the woman with her organs

    • Lets go with it! \o/

  • I think this explains it better than I could, and it gives different perspectives on the subject…www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/DoesChemistryCount
    I don't think that chemistry is something that you can create though. I have only felt this "chemistry" with one guy before and it was because I felt completely comfortable with him the instant we met. That might not seem like a big deal to most people, but to me it was because I am usually very shy and uncomfortable around people that I don't know well. But with him, even though I was attracted to him, I felt like I could be myself, and I felt a connection when we would look at each other. You have never felt anything similar to this and the things mentioned in the article with someone before?

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    • I think I'm "immune" to this effect. -_-;;

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    • Well, whatever. I am not worried about it I guess. At least I got an answer, and that is enough for me!

    • It's definitely at the bottom of the list of things to worry about. And yea, at least now you'll be more aware of it if it does happen to occur.

What Guys Said 7

  • You don't "make" chemistry. It's already there. It's usually the thing described between two people who have personalities that work well with eachother. For example, I have common intellectual levels and interests as a ton of girls, but I have chemistry between only a few of them (and unfortunately for me, the best chemistry I have is with people who are already married). It's an ability to be friends and lovers at the same time, it's an ability where bot hare able to make conversation because either their personality, interests or both match well. It's when you meet someone you instantly get along with, People who find this are lucky - most relationships take a lot of work and compromises.

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  • Physical attraction, and the feeling that you're sufficiently similar enough that communication between you is seamless, and you have similar values. Compatibility.

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  • Something like a NAGGEr

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  • My best advice would be comfortable with yourself, once you are comfortable with your self then girls will feel more comfortable with you resulting in them opening up and then building a bond known as chemistry

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    • But apparently it's either there or not. It has nothing to do with such things.

    • Well true but girls seem to have a sixth and any little sign of insecurity will turn them away being comfortable with your self may not guarantee you that connection with a female companion but will likely increase your chances.

    • I see...

  • You're 25-34 and you don't know? The fuck brah.

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    • I was too busy not worrying about obscure terms people made up to justify simple concepts that rarely have any merit.

  • That you go perfectly together, comparing an alkali metal with a halogen, in scientific terms.

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  • This misuse of the term "chemistry" is terribly widespread. It doesn't even mean anything specific!

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