Do guys like intelligent Girls?

I ask this because I've been out recently with a few different types of guys some intelligent others not so much. I think the dates are going well because that's the signals they give off but I don't hear from them again. After a first or second date.
I speak honestly and am quite direct if they ask a question and don't play dumb. I want intellectual conversation and it seems as though guys don't and are turned off by intelligent girls? Is this true?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Compassion,
    interesting and quirky mind-wise.
    physically attractive to me.

    Those are the things I personally would like.

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    • How do your dates show compassion on a first date?

What Guys Said 24

  • If she is actually intelligent sure. If she is coming to the date going on and on saying "I'm so smart that my dates can't handle me because I'm so good!" then not so much. I notice this with girls who brag about intellect, wealth, status, etc. They chase their dates away then assume everyone is "intimidated" by them.

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  • People generally are attracted to people of roughly the same intelligence levels.

    As for being opinionated, that's neither good nor bad in itself. It depends on what your opinions are. I think often people confuse respecting someone's right to have an opinion with respecting someone's opinion, and I think that confusion is especially obvious in alleged compliments such as "She's an opinionated, strong-minded woman", as if that in itself were something good (I suppose a male counterpart would be "He goes for what he wants"). I would certainly respect anyone's right to express an opinion, how ever ridiculous the opinion is. But, I'm not going to pretend that I respect a ridiculous opinion itself. And, if your opinions are divergent enough from mine, that would be a deal-breaker.

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    • No I'm not going into dates opinionated but I don't want to talk about trivial things that aren't important. I feel as though the guys I date (whether they are smart or not) find a girl with a mind unattractive.

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    • Ha. Just ignore whichever man made that comment to you. Unfortunately, there are some really terrible people in the world.

    • The funny thing was he played the 'nice guy' and was anything but. Dating has become so hard!

  • No, intelligence is attractive. It must be something else you're doing or saying that's putting these guys off. I find that a lot of women who say that men find their intelligence off-putting or intimidating are usually lacking in social skills and have no idea, then they jump to the conclusion that it must be because they're smart. Very often these kinds of women try to show off how intelligent they are and that takes the fun away as well as being very annoying. You say you want intellectual conversation, maybe you're just boring them?

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    • Ha thanks! I don't try and show off anything. I feel I be honest, direct and guys don't seem to like that? I'm not too sure what it is tbh.

  • I love smart girls, as long as there not a prick about it. Intelligence is stimulating, allows for deeper conversations and a deeper connection (ie intelligence is super sexy). The only time I have been turned off by a smart girl in the past is when she acts like she's got something to prove. Let other people figure out you're smart, don't force it down their throat. That's the difference between intelligence being a major turn on and it being somewhat off putting. It's the attitude that goes along with it.

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    • Yeah I understand what you mean but I don't think I come across with an attitude. The guys I've dated just seem to prefer girls that want superficial conversation and I just find it odd.

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    • That dude is a misogynistic ass if all he wants you for is arm candy. He wasn't worth your time to begin with. The right guy will come along and appreciate you for more than your appearance, be patient. We're not all like that, I promise.

    • Thanks after a few bad dates I've been feeling pretty crappy about myself.

  • yeah because i want to absorb some of her intelligence XD XD XD

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  • Many guys tend to want to be better or think they are better at most things than the women they are with.

    I've always enjoyed an intellectual equal. Intelligence turns me on.

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    • Nice to know but not the case with the guys I date.

  • As long as someone isn't an arrogant smartass they can be as intelligent as they want.

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  • I like a girl who I can have a conversation with. If she's intelligent, great. If not, who cares. Just as long as we've got great chemistry.

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  • I ONLY like intelligent girls. I'm romantically 100% indifferent to the others

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    • That's good to hear, but an intelligent guy I was dating told me that he didn't like the fact I was smart and he needed to be with someone dumber :/

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    • What's your take on guys who don't like intelligent girls?

    • IMHOguys who don't like intelligent girls want a relationship where they can be the boss and feel inferior because of the girl's intelligence. "he needed to be with someone dumber"

  • I like them more than idiotic girls.
    I just don't like when a girl is overly intelligent and acts that way.
    It's great she's smart and all but I don't need her using big words all the time.

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    • Using big words are a bad thing?

    • They're not a bad thing, I just can't keep up thats all. It's more me than anything. I just wouldn't be able to hold conversation with a lady like that.

  • I find intellectual females attractive I can't be with a woman who how can I say this well fuck it she's dumb, but I love a woman that can teach me new things or have conversations that matter but I don't want her to be only intelligent you gotta have fun sometimes and make some jokes you know. And those guys are maybe afraid of your bluntness

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    • Afraid of what part of my bluntness?

    • Yes they may find it annoying or to aggressive depending on the situation

  • Absolutely, yes... Girls that play (or just are) dumb and/or act aloof are really annoying.

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  • I do. I would like to have a normal conversation with someone about things.

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  • I prefer the intelligent ones over the dumb ones, cuz there's so much you can talk, and you have someone to fill you in with the thoughts and the conversation!! If only there were more of such types among my friends..

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  • I love them.

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    • Why? I went out with a fellow intellect and he said to me that he'd prefer his gf to be dumber. I was like this won't work will it?

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    • That's a really interesting comment about feeling emasculated. Hmmmm I don't want to be dumbing myself down for a date. The funny thing was the guy was just as intelligent as me if not more so not sure why he felt so threatened.

    • Insecurity.

  • That's not true.

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  • Intelligent gals please. I get more easy and looks can only do so much to attract me.

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  • Being intelligent is sexy for me so I would like to have a sexy geek or nerdy girlfriend

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  • A girls intelligence doesn't matter too much to me. Her kindness is much more important.

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    • But do you feel if a girl was just as or more so intelligent than you, would you not like it?

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    • What's PITA? Never heard of that acronym.

    • Pain In The Ass.

  • I rate intelligence above appearance

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  • intelligence falls short if you can't handle everyday life, examples like not being over sensitive.

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  • Of course, but not nerdy, just smart.

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  • intelligent not cunning there is a difference.

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    • I never said cunning? What do you mean?

    • some people are cunning and think they are smart. i like good and smart though.

  • Yes I do they give me wood.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Emasculation is just a throw away term people use as an excuse to feel entitled to controlling other people.

    A lot of people don't like being with people who are better than them in certain areas. male or female. Nothing to do with emasculation just low self confidence.

    As if he needed someine dumber he's no that intelligent. An intelligent person values intelligence in others they don't run from it... They also recognize intelligence comes in many for s and there's really no one way to measure it. It's possjble he just felt like he couldn't control you.

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    • That's a fair point made no he couldn't control me (I don't think control is good in a relationship) we both called the shots which he might not have liked. I have my own mind and guys I date don't like it. One guy said I'm too independent? I just don't understand some guys :/

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    • Thanks it's quite sad to think guys like this are out there!

    • More than not im afraid.

  • They do.. But try not to be too serious or opinionated. There is a difference! Blend intelligence with light heartedness.
    This has been my personal experience

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    • I do that but i don't understand why i don't hear from them again.

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    • Balance of what?

    • Intelligence, opinions, seriousness vs. humor, silliness and accepting when you are wrong.

  • I think people should have around the same level of intellect to be compatible.

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  • I hope so, I feel like guys always choose the simple minded ones though.

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  • (laughing)
    Men like the IDEA of intelligent girls :P

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    • Which means they don't in reality?

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    • (smiling)
      I am not here to convince anyone of anything.
      Belief is freedom and personal choice.
      Much luck :P

    • yeah i mean if you were so intelligent you would hang around intelligent men, get attracted by them, andprobably be with one of them. so you wouldn't have a problem with all your boyfriends on that level. with my wife we met in college and we were both pretty good students, so once of the things people are attracted in the other person's mind as well. i wish you best of luck as well. and a bf at your level haha :P

  • If she does not have the looks to come with the intelligence it does not matter.. I'm sure most men want a woman who is attractive and intelligent.. My ex has a masters degree and he's hott lol.. But he never BRAGGED about it because thats a turn off:/

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