My boyfirend told me the truth and I can not handle it?

Okay so me my bf been together for 3 years... he always had a prefrence for blondes girls who are pettite...

That part alwayssss made me soo insecure in That department... it got to me when our third year started together... my insecurities grew bigger for some reason i dont know why... so one day i asked him petty questions like if he think my sister is pretty or anyother girl blah blah... he said no untill i asked him if he thought blondes were prettier he said yeah " some are" i felt shattered... i felt really Hurt and cried for a week...

I get That There are better looking people in the world etc etc im aware of That but hearing it from him it hurts, ... my tummy slouches down in my stomach when he told me That some blondes are prettier coz thats his prefrence.

He knows im extremly insecure and knows how i feel about it...

You Can say i am insecure person coz its how i am always have been.

I can't have sex with him nor feel the same either... please please dont think im childishh... i Never ever told him about m'y insecurities uptill recently...

Updates:
I know my bf is with me coz he likes wants me. But it hurts That he said his prefrence is prettier than me...

0|0
11|13

Most Helpful Guy

  • I will say he's a complete idiot for saying that. I can't speak for your dumbass boyfriend but for me preferences always change it's just a-at the moment type thing. I made the same mistake once. A girl who was just a friend asked if I found a certain girl attractive and I told her that I thought she was incredibly beautiful but dumb as a bag of rocks which completely changed my perception of her. From that all she heard was that I thought she was really beautiful, cause somewhere in her mind she thought that I would of thought she was a lot prettier than the girl we were talking about but even though we're just work friend and there's nothing going on. If I had to make a choice I would prefer her anyday.
    No matter how goo looking the person, people get bored of their partner and find other people attractive regardless. It's about the commitment and attraction to the person you like. That is a lot more attractive.
    Are you scared of the thought that he might leave you or that you aren't as attractive as some people, cause that's what' I'm going through now oddly enough.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 12

  • Well, he was just being honest. Really, he can't lie to you. You're in a relationship. I'm sorry, but you have to accept it as it is.

    1|2
    1|0
    • I can't...

    • Show All
    • What do u mean its not True?

    • Not all guys are attracted to blondes

  • You need to relax, and get over your insecurity. Don't try and put the blame on his comment, because you felt this way already. You have to be realistic, did you really think he DIDN'T find other females more attractive? He's a guy lol, this is nothing new. The only thing he did wrong here is tell the truth, took me a while to realize when to lie and when to be honest with a girl, he learned a lesson here.

    I never thought I was a girls preference (physically). I'm content with knowing a girl simply finds me attractive. You should do the same, because this really isn't worth crying about.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's a reality that even though people are in a relationship that they still notice desirable traits in other people. No one person embodies EVERYTHING we find attractive. Nobody is perfect and human expectations are a little unrealistic at times. I'm sure you find guys other than your boyfriend handsome. Hell there are probably men out there you consider more handsome than him. Does this mean you want to leave him for them? Does this mean you want to cheat on him? There's a reason why he's with you instead of one of those petite blondes you think he likes so much. I know that there are men more attractive than me in the world. There are women who are more attractive than you too. That's just life. If you leave the relationship now just know it would be due to your own insecurities.

    0|0
    0|0
    • He's with you for more than your beauty. Your outer layer is just a small portion of who you are.

  • Ok, first of all, you asked.

    Secondly, yes, he told you the truth he was just a schmuck about it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I going to be honest like your bf was and don't take this wrong but your acting a little childish. Everyone has their preferences. At least he told the truth. You have preferences too. Stop feeling insecure. Although he likes blondes as a preference, he likes you more. There is something unique about you to him that made him choose you over all those blonde girls out there. You have to remember that and be happy. Thinking like this won't help either of you. You could dye your hair blonde too lol, but it's better to be yourself. Good Luck

    1|0
    0|0
  • STOP ASKING QUESTIONS THAT YOU can't HANDLE THE ANSWER...

    1|1
    2|0
  • There will always be a prettier woman or a better woman.

    Nobody ever meets all of their partner's preferences.

    The true test of love is if he can see past that you aren't the prettiest girl in the world nor his ideal and still be loyal and devoted to you. That's kind of what love is, accepting someone for who they are and ruminating loyal to them despite their perfections and imperfections.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Wow your boyfriend was a bit rude wasn't he? I'm all for telling it is but sometimes it's better to say nothing at all or at the very least use some tact when delivering blunt honesty.

    I don't think you're being childish, If my girlfriend said she preferred taller men than me and that they were more attractive than me, I'd feel hurt too and I would dump her. I'm not going to be in a relationship with someone who has settled for me. I must feel wanted by a woman, if I don't feel wanted and valued then I cannot go on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ok, I think you should be glad that he love you over his personal preference. Be glad to know that he love you for who you are and not for the color of you hair.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't blame your boyfriend for imperfections you were already tripping on.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Couldn't you just dye your hair? That's the only facet of you looks you mention. I mean I know that your insecurities run deeper, but as far as what you say about your bf's preferences, that sounds like it could be remedied fairly easily.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Another man falls victim to his honesty... he should have known that it would be a bad idea to tell the truth about that type of thing.

    Try talking to him about your insecurities, if you can get over this that's great, otherwise leave him. Don't leave him trying to guess what's wrong though, you should talk to him about this.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Yes yes and yes iv talked to hum how i feel him telling me gis prefrence is prettier... he Just says its the truth...

    • Is he the most attractive man in your eyes? Or do you think some other men are more attractive?

    • I dont notice any Guys not i get turned on from any Guy... You Can think its impossible blah blah...

What Girls Said 11

  • That's why you shouldn't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to. It's the same reason you should never ask a man, "do I need to lose weight?" or something like that. Obviously, it's just setting the guy up to fail. He'll either have to tell the truth (and risk the woman getting mad at him) or lie about it. Neither of which are good situations to be in.

    Realistically, he obviously really likes you or he wouldn't be in a relationship with you. If he wanted to be with a blonde chick, don't you think he would be? But no, he's with you, that should at least be worth something in your mind. Stop comparing yourself to other people, learn to be happy with yourself and work on raising your self-esteem.

    3|0
    0|0
    • Actually i know alllll of what You mentioned... but it hurts That he said it anyways knowing it would hurt my feelings...

    • Show All
    • Lol wow, alright then.

    • That's kinda of a stupid reason to break up with someone. Like the person said above, it's better that he was honest. Just because he likes blondes, doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive. He must like you for who you are, especially if you have been together for three years. Don't you have a certain preference when it comes to looks? For me I usually like dark hair on a guy, but the one I currently like has red hair and I never thought I would like guy with that color. Granted I like him for who he is not just his looks. If I were you before you break up with your boyfriend, have a talk with him. Tell him about your insecurities that way your relationship can improve and get better. Tell him your feelings were hurt.

  • I don't think you're childish for being insecure, I understand it.

    Your boyfriend was very insensitive about saying that and I sort of understand because I once had a boyfriend who randomly decided to tell me that a girl in my class was better than me, blondes were better than me and then almost every other girl was better than me for one reason or another.

    I don't think it was a good idea to keep asking if you couldn't handle the truth but he shouldn't have said that. It was insensitive and rude in my opinion.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you can't accept this, then break up with him. plenty of dudes prefer brunettes.

    3|0
    0|0
    • Its more than Just prefering brunettes... its Just he knows how i feel but said it anyways...

    • you asked for the truth, he supplied it. true, there are some guys who would have been considerate of your feelings and would have shielded you from the truth. your boyfriend is not that type of man. if you want a better man, go out there and find him. don't play the victim. take control of the situation. there are 3948304823904 better guys out there.

  • I'm not sure why you would ask? I'm sure you've got a type as well, but he is with YOU for a reason! Remember that. You do clearly have self-esteem issues and are insecure but you can work on that and improve yourself. It will take work but you can do it.

    www.mindbodygreen.com/.../...to-love-yourself.html

    0|0
    0|0
    • He is m'y type and prefrence

  • It doesn't mean he thinks you're attractive any less. You asked if blondes were prettier, and he said "some are". You have to accept that there will be prettier girls than you. Think about it this way. Are you dating him because he's the hottest guy on earth? Probably not. Same thing can go for him too.
    Seriously, you've been together for a long time. If he didn't enjoy your company, or liked you he wouldn't stick around for so long. If it bothers you so much you can try dying your hair.
    My boyfriend also likes blondes better, and he asked me to change it up sometimes. Then I changed my hair color with an app and sent it to him, we both agreed that I looked better this way and he preferred me as a brunette.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Babe, take a second to think about this. He has been with you for 3 years. In those three years he's seen thousands of women. On tv, in the street, in school, at work, etc. And despite him seeing all these women, he has never ever cheated on you or hurt you. He has stayed with you and loved you all this time. He chose you. He could have dated barbie, but he chose you. You are beautiful inside and out. He knows this, and he may not tell you all the time, but men are not very verbal. They may not say how they feel but they show it. And he has shown his love for you by being by your side for those 3 years. Talk to him about it. Let him know that you're feeling this way. Im sure he will tell you how he really feels which is he loves you just for who you are.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I have been telling hum how i feel and im still upset, i told hum i Never wanted to know his thing for blondes but he says some blondes are prettier...

  • He was honest... and relationships are about more than looks. Just because he thinks someone is attractive does not mean he has or would have feelings for them. Men are visual

    0|0
    0|0
  • So what if he had a preference towards blonde? You should be proud that a brunette like yourself broke that chain of preference. Aren't you seeing that? Girl, you need to wake up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • We all have preferences but that does not matter when you're in a relationship.
    I'm normally into stockier guys than my boyfriend who is very skinny. I know he's normally into thinner girls and yes it makes me insecure but in the end if he didn't want to be with me he'd break up with me. I'm just happy he's into me now even if I know I'll be a complete mess when he realises I'm not good enough for him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You got to be comfortable with yourself, then nothing matters.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your boyfriends an asshole. I would bring it up casually in a conversation and be like, "so hey, you know that one time you told me you prefer blondes? Why would you mention that to me? That doesn't make me feel good, you know i have issues with (etc, etc)". You have to speak up and let him know it bothers you. Insecurities can make you miserable in a relationship, especially if your bf confirms those insecurities. If he shrugs off your concerns and insecurities than shrug him out of your life. You dont need that negativity.

    1|0
    1|0
    • It been going on like This for almost a month now and iv been telling him how i feel but keeps on saying other things...

    • Show All
    • What other things does he say? I mean, its just weird to me he'd tell you those things and it's even more weird that he keeps doing it after he knows how you feel about it. That sounds like a major issue and obviously it's making you even more insecure than ever. You have to tell him that. You have to let him know that he should not, by any means be telling you that. It's not fair for you.

    • Yes iv told him what you said but keep on saying other things...

Loading...