I'm 25 and I have my heart set on a certain someone. He's 28 and has everything going for him. He's been single for awhile... I was just wondering if there's an average age when men start to want a relationship. Thanks (:
Most Helpful Guy
guys start wanting a serious relationship (not just for fun) after college
but just because they want a serious relationship doesn't mean that EACH (or the first, for that matter) relationship they get into will lead to MARRIAGE
after college, guys start to notice one thing.. their value in the dating market is only going up.. they're only getting more mature, successful and productive.. and on the other end.. the value of all the women around him is only going down..
to quote the July-Aug 2008 Harvard Business Review:
"Negotiations are all about power. And power, is all about imbalance. The party who has a lower demand and has more value to offer or supply, holds more power. By increasing the other party's demand for what you have to offer, and downplaying the value of what they have to offer you, you achieve control. Control is a state of being; where your power over the other party is so great, the only outcome that exists through negotiations or power struggles is only one that is favorable to you. Control can be temporary or permanent. In instances where it is permanent, companies would benefit from avoiding commitments such as contracts, locking-in prices or terms; since it allows them the flexibility to entertain better offers. In instances where it is temporary, companies would benefit from enterting into commitments, such as contracts, locking-in prices and terms; since it provides security against both the declining demand for what goods or services the company has to offer, and the decrease in value of those goods and services."
guys realize they have the luxury of time.. after all, a man has nothing to gain from marriage, only half to lose.. so the way a guy sees it..
the only reason I'd want to "settle down" is to have kids.. and I don't want to have kids when I'm already old enough to be their grandfather (that's really the only consideration)
of course a man would still date.. in search of someone he could tolerate spending the rest of his life with.. and he would be in a serious relationship with her (leading to marriage).. but wouldn't actually commit until HE is ready to provide the kind of future and lifestyle HE wants for his FAMILY..
that includes his children.. himself.. and ironically.. his wife (ironically; because in most cases.. women prolong commitment by giving off a demanding and materially needy vibe)
depending on his career.. that could be anywhere between 33-40
depending on how financially and legally literate he is too.. he would probably put all of his assets in an irrevocable trust at least 30 days prior to his proposal or wedding day; and would never agree to get married without a mutually agreed upon pre-nupt..
if she fails to sign it.. from his point of view.. he's just filtered out a gold-digger trying to emotionally blackmail her way to the fruits of his labors.. and he'll just have to find someone else.. he has the luxury of time.. she doesn't..2