Why can't he just be honest....!!

Guys... I have been on 5 dates with a guy everything seemed to be fantastic but this last week or so he has been distant. I texted him yesterday after 5 days of not talking and he replied back, asking me how I was and made conversation. Then he stopped half way through a conversation... I know your reading this and saying he's just not that into you.! But is it wrong to want a guy to be straight, I'd prefer him to turn around and say " I just wanna be friend" at least then I know one way or another. He and I are both in mid 20's... what is the best... mature way to handle this..? Can a girl just text a guy and saying " if you don't like me then just be honest".? kinda thing! its the not knowing that's frustrating!

Updates:
Should I ask him if he wants to meet this weekend, if he says no take that as the hint! or should I just ask him, out right...? I don't want to come across like I don't care in case that's that his thinking... ! er... I'm confused!

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Most Helpful Girl



  • My advice when dating? Never put 'all' your eggs in one basket. You're in your mid-20's, it's OK to date other people. Maybe he ISN'T the ONE! I would not text him, or call him back. I would utilize this time date other people, take up a new hobby, or spend some time with some friends. If he calls, spend some time with him, ONLY if you have room in your schedule. Trust me, while you're sitting at home wondering why he hasn't called you, I doubt that he is home sulking, thinking about you. Dating is like the Stock Market. Things are boosting one moment, and then BOOM, everything goes downhill from there. No reason. No explanation! It could be a million reasons as to why he hasn't called you. But don't restrict yourself, analyzing why he hasn't. Life is short...there are plenty of men who will give you the time, if you're open to it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You're not confused, you're just desperate.

    If your girlfriend was telling you this same story you'd shake your head at her.

    Don't pretend like you're not reading his signals. If he was interested he'd go out of his way to chat you up, and to make plans.

    You're wasting your time thinking about how to "get him more interested" in you, while ignoring that he's not.

    Stop blaming him for not being more obvious, and start blaming yourself for trying to delude yourself.

    Stop wasting your time NOW.

    It's the only way you'll find another guy who IS more interested, PLUS it'll help develop your inner strength, your inner intuition, and you self confidence.

    Sitting around worrying about him is only ruining your confidence, especially when you're not trusting yourself to interpret his signals.

    Move on asap.

    Best of luck with the next guy! There's millions of us, so don't slow down just for one guy again.

    ~ Robby

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  • Think about it. Honesty RARELY leads to a good scene. We are TAUGHT to be dishonest if for no other reason than to spare the other person's feelings. I mean if you are drutally honest with yourself, wouldn't you feel a little dejected if he were to have told you after the 5th date that it just wasn't there for him?

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  • jeez, two girls giving a girl advise on a man, for pete's sake, the site is called GirlsAskGuys! You might as well read cosmo, starve yourself and dress like a flousy!

    Look, just be straight with him! guys don't like to play games ok, specially mid-twenties, we're no longer hormone balls who will chase you to the ends of the earth, like we were in college, If he dated you AT ALL, it's because he likes you, just ask him out on a date, there's nothing wrong with that.

    ...also the first two girl answers, dating other guys, and putting him in a corner, are EXTREMELY WRONG, unless you never want to see him again.

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  • Because he's a guy...he's afraid to be honest. He doesn't want to hurt you.

    But, obviously, he doesn't want to (desperately, unconditionally, overpoweringly, passionately) date you either...

    But it's your choice. Either you call him and see what's up, or you just move on now.

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  • you can ask him to hang out this weekend and see what his response. if he came up with a lame excuse then don't bother and contact him.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Unfortunately, even if you asked him he would probably deny it. A lot of people, not just guys, don't want to do something they see as confrontational. And it probably wouldn't be honest of him to say he doesn't like you. He may like you but doesn't see dating you anymore and whatever reason there is for that, I doubt he wants to share it with you.

    I think it is clear to him you are interested in him. It is also clear to me that this has hit the end of the road for him to just basically drop off the end of the earth in talking to you. Just let it go, as hard as that is.

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  • I had the same exact situation... I asked the guy. He didn't want a relationship... but really he is saying he doesn't want a relationship WITH YOU. Harsh but girls have to face it. You need to ask. Say, "Hey, I am free tomorrow night. Would you want to do something?" If he beats around the bush he is not interested. You want a guy to be so excited to go out with you and it will show when that guy is the right one. Hang in there.

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  • maybe you sould just be like... "hey I'm can decide if you want to continue dating or just be friends? You don't really seem to want to hang out anymore." try that and see if it works. Best of luck :)

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  • I have been in your situation before. my boyfriend of 5 months one day just up and disappeared with no explaination. now he's back acting like everythings normal. honestly you should be upfront and ask him what is up. ask him what he wasn't. if he respects you and truly likes you he will give you an honest answer. If he cares about you then you should be able to talk to him about sstuff like this without worrying.

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