How to get my mom to understand that I am an adult and I can make my own decisions?

I'm 19, 20 in March. Yet I still have to ask my mom for permission for everything! How can I break free from this and show her I am completely capable of making my own choices. I have a boyfriend, I want to see as often as I can but she won't let me see him for at least 3x a week maybe less. She won't let me stay out past 10. How can I begin to approach this to her? I want to be able to make my own rules and judgements cause last time I checked it was me and my boyfriend. Not mom, me and boyfriend.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You probably have to move out. If you live in her house, you would need to either:

    1) move out
    2) help pay the bills
    3) do chores around the house

    You must have done something before that makes seem rather you immature and that's why she requires you to get her permission. If you do any of the bottom three, you could sit down with her and ask why you need permission in a calm, civil and rational manner.

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    • Thanks for the Most Helpful Opinion. Sorry about the answer. I didn't realized I typed strange. I meant to say:
      You must have done something before that, that made you seem rather immature and that's why she requires you to get her permission. If you do any of the above three, you could sit down with her and ask why you need permission in a calm, civil and rational manner.

    • Props to you for seeing what I meant to say!!!

What Guys Said 5

  • Stop asking her. Tell her you're over 18 an that she needs to let you grow up and let you mature.

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  • As long as she's supporting you financially, she can make the rules.

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  • Is it her house you are living in?

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  • Pay for the bills

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  • unfortunately you'll have to move out, I understand she is just protective of you and you can't blame her for being caring but I also understand that you need that independence and freedom to do things without being held back.

    Just work towards getting a job and paying rent and you can get all the freedom you want, just make sure you go back to your mom's for dinner every once in a while :)

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What Girls Said 3

  • Go out, get a job, earn an income, rent your own place and then do what you want. Don't complain about it. You want to do what you want? Then do it.

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    • bingo. Do, no say. Every minute spent complaining is a minute you could've spent working towards your goal.

  • The best thing u can do is move out. Otherwise she still thinks she has control over u, move out!

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  • Get a job, move out etc

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