Ugh! My height requirements just bit me in the butt?

So I have been the most vocal here about my height, at 5'9", and that I am most comfortable with a guy 5'11" and taller. I am tall for a girl, and most attracted to men who can make me feel small by comparison.

You all remember my post about the super smart guy? I have really become fond of him via text and pics; we were to meet next week.

But...

Turns out he is only 5'9", shorter than I thought he was. Give the guy a chance and eat my words, or pass up what could be a nice guy knowing I am never comfortable or physically attracted for long to someone my height or shorter? It has never worked in the past.

It doesn't bother him at all.

Stay or "Nay?"

  • Give him a chance, you never know
    93% (26)70% (21)81% (47)Vote
  • Pass, based on your past experiences
    0% (0)17% (5)9% (5)Vote
  • I'm just nosey and want to know what everyone said.
    7% (2)13% (4)10% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
You guys convinced me; no harm just meeting him and seeing if there is physical chemistry.
He is smart, funny, kind and already as "into me" as he could be expected to be based on phone/texts.

There is no doubt the issue is in my own head, I readily admit it. I am fully secure in my own height, but when it comes to dating I just like what I like. It is a feminine thing to want to feel safe by her date.

All "short" puns were appreciated and snickered at, each one. :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I kind of feel there is no correct answer to this. If you're just not attracted to him, then it's not fair on yourself to force attraction to him. It's not fair on him, either. If you think his other qualities could more than make up for his supposed, shortfall (no pun intended, if that qualifies as a pun), then give it a go, and see how you feel in person? I tend to find, that fate, in its hilarity; usually, has a way of matching you up to that thing which you hitherto vocally professed to dislike: The women who dislikes short men will get with one, the guy who dislikes older women will end up falling for one, the racist person will end up getting with someone of a different ethnicity. These people who can allow themselves to open them up to something new, I expect, can experience the greatest of joys. Maybe I should only speak for myself :)

    I also intended to focus on something else, but my steam is a little low of late. Part of this seems to be about your insecurities, 'needing to be made to feel small'. I guess this is only natural. But maybe there's something there to ponder on, too?

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What Guys Said 18

  • At some point you'll become mature enough to overlook your 'height' requirements, no pun intended! Well, no it was intended!

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  • "You all remember my post about the super smart guy?", no.

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  • I am 6'7" i vote for the tall guys! :-)

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  • I always thought that I found women 3-5 inches shorter than me most attractive. Then I met an amazing woman who was my height. We've been married nearly 18 years. I would have missed out if I'd not been willing to open my mind a little bit.

    Many times, what we think we need out of a relationship turns out to be dead wrong, or even counterproductive.

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  • I voted A) because my initial preference used to be "the same height as me".

    It is really convenient for making out. Not kidding.

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  • If there's already a little scary there, then give it a go! Worse case scenario is that your suspicions about the height issue are confirmed, but at least you took the chance.

    Good luck! :-)

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    • *a little SPARK

      I hope there's not a little scary there. LOL. Just woke up, fingers aren't tuned up for typing yet.

  • You should do what's in your rational self-interest. I think going on a first date with him is probably your best option.

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  • Your comments suggest you've already doomed the possibility of it working. I actually find it tragic the man you were so excited for, doesn't meet your requirements. I understand your point of view & frustration.

    But, in looking at it from his point of view, I'm uncertain how I'd feel if I, somehow, learned I was settled for & the woman I'm dating wasn't attracted to me because of my height.

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  • Forget him, I have no faith you are getting over your feminine issues any time soon. Find someone who will makes you feel feminine.

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  • height does not really play much of a role when it comes to relationships... if you feel emotionally attached towards him and he feels the same for you then who gives a s**t about the height factor... FYI also he is the same as your height not shorter than you and there are many guys who are shorter than their wives so don't worry about the height and focus on maintaining a good relationship @becca123

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  • I always thought that I wanted a lady who was really short (like 5' and under), but my fiancee is almost as tall as me (6') and I wouldn't change it for the world.

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  • did you meet him?

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  • What if he's the best lover you ever had? And you never find out because you didn't give it a chance? ?

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  • I don't know if ur gonna make the guy feel bad down the line because he's too short then its better to let him go now or just have sex with him.

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  • I'd say give him a chance. I don't know though

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  • Damn you tall af. I take high heels into consideration too so that adds 2 inches.

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    • Yeah, if I am with a taller guy I rock the heels. With a shorter dude, I don't feel as confident in them.

  • Would you date a guy who's 5'6"?

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  • Send shorty packing

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What Girls Said 4

  • Just because it hasn't worked in the past doesn't mean it won't in the future. Sounds to me like it is you're mentality stopping you. Give him a chance I say.

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  • So there's this guy. He's Hispanic; I'm black. I'm tall, he's short. But he perused me for two months and I was unsure because of the same exact reason. Then I admitted to myself that no other guy made me feel so beautiful and special. So I decided the next time I saw him, I’d let him know. If this guy makes you feel the same, open your heart to him. Don’t miss out on something beautiful.

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  • Of course you should give him a chance!

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  • I haven't followed your other posts, so just to be clear, this is the first time you are meeting him in person?

    I say go for it, absolutely. You seem to be really into his personality, and if you've seen pictures I'm assuming you're cool with his looks (other than the height thing).
    At least he is the same height as you. And he might be bigger than you anyway (in terms of broader shoulders, etc.) and so he still might be able to make you feel small. You never know until you give it a shot!

    And if you find that it can't work, well, at least you tried! You would regret it if you passed up the chance on a really great guy just because he is 2in shorter than you would like.

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