Being nice is bad apparently?

I've been dating this girl for 6 months. I have to had intitate almost every date with her since we started going out. She has only asked me once to go out and once to come over for a family dinner during the holidays. Her mom has texted me more to come over then she has.

Just today I learned through a
Friend that she thinks "I'm way too nice "and that I say yes all the time and that she "wants me to be more mean to her"... First off that sounds ridiculous when I see it typed again. I'll be first to admit that I am super nice in the sense where I don't like confrontation too much, I wanna please my girlfriend and know they are happy especially since her previous boyfriend broke her heart. I wanna be there for her for anything that happens so yes I'm that guy.

My question is.. How can I be too nice and say yes all the time when she hasn't made a decision or wanted to hangout more than twice. I plan every date, every where we go, what days we see each other are all initiated by me. Maybe I do compliment her too much and no we haven't argued a lot cause to me there really hasn't been a reason. I know our feelings for eachother aren't equal and learning of this today proved it too.

I'm just curious as to why the way I am is so bad and frowned upon?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally don't see the issue, maybe she's just weird. But don't change yourself, you seem really nice and thoughtful. I'd just talk to her, and bring i up. I mean you're putting way more effort into this relationship than she is, and it's been 6 months! If it were me, i'd have said something or called it quits.. but only because i'm impatient lol

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What Girls Said 2

  • Dude girls like a challenge but be yourself and rember there's more fish in the sea

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  • The way you are is not bad, tons of girls like nice guys. Don't change. Sadly, some girls do like "bad boys". If you two are not compatible, move on and find a girl who appreciates your niceness. Good Luck! : )

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What Guys Said 4

  • I think you just need to ask her what is wrong. Something is not right there, and we can make guesses for you, but really, this is a conversation between the two of you.

    I hope it works out, but yes it sounds silly "too nice."

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  • DONT BE "NICE" bE a good guy LOLOL

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  • Don't be too nice. Don't be a doormat for her. Girls don't have any respect for gentlemen type of guys. You should be a cocktail of good and douche guy.
    Strike a balance. It is nice thing to hear that you initiate most of the things.
    When girl says that they want nice guys... it's only on paper and they have different perception of being nice. It doesn't match with our perception.
    Hence don't be too nice..

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  • Some people consider kindness a weakness they can exploit. You basically become a obedient little drone in the eyes of such people. Those kind of people is basically parasitic in nature looking for what they can get from people rather than what they can give and share. These kind of people usually have someone they have sex with and another to do their tedious tasks for them.

    So the trick is to find someone who isn't this parasitic in nature.

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