How can I keep dating a guy without having sex?

I've been seeing a guy almost a month and I'm sure he's ready for sex. I'm not sure yet, though. He's got a lot going on in his life and a young baby, etc. I'd like to keep seeing him, but I'm not comfortable with sex just yet. Is it just wishful thinking we can keep getting to know each other? He's not paying for anything, by the way.

That should say he's not paying for our dates, so I'm not using him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If he respects you and likes you, he'll be prepared to wait until you are comfortable.

    • Does that still apply after high school? Haha!

    • Show All
    • The "nice guy on paper" ended up being my worst boyfriend. I think I'm gun-shy after him. This new guy seems sincere and genuine, but has a lot going on.

    • Take things slowly. Remember it was the tortoise and not the hare that won the race.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • What do you mean he isn't paying for anything?

    And yes, you just say you aren't interested yet. If he has a NEW YOUNG BABY and is already dating you, that should be alarm bells going off.

    • His ex started seeing someone else like two months after giving birth. Weird, I know.

  • Not "paying for anything" doesn't matter at all.

    When he gets sexually aggreesive, just tell him you're not ready for sex... and hopefully he continues to date u and appease this need of yours. :)

    • I added that because GAG is notorious for guys saying women are evil and attack women for "friend zoning" guys, etc.

  • The fact that you even mentioned who pays for what suggests an unhealthy perception of sexual relationships. Good call figuring out that you're not ready. If he has a baby and has time for you, babby mama or no, he's a bad bet. Save yourself the greif and move on. If you're determined to persue this dead end, tell him a handjob is all you can offer. I'm betting he'll not be satisfied with that and show his true colors. Best of luck to you.

    • Haha, I just threw that out for the GAG trolls who think women are evil. His ex gf started cheating on him and left him for another guy when their baby was two months. So I don't think he's a bad guy, but he may have poor judgement.

What Girls Said 3

  • Don't jump into what you are not ready for.
    That really only bring chaos around.
    Open up to him, and tell him that you need more time.
    You are willing to give when the time is right.

    If he shares the same views as you, he wouldn't consider this a problem (although he may be a bit disappointed).

    • I just want to make sure we're a good fit.

  • Take things at your own speed. Don't feel pressured into anything

  • Huh? He's not paying for dates? I would get rid of him already.