How can I get a white guy to date me?

im a black chick. I've had several non-black men who expressed interest in me but it never leads to a real relationship. There was this white guy on campus who introduced himself to me, and we ate lunch together. He'd flirt with me and look at my ass (he didn't try to hide it). In my mind, I knew this was going to lead to something but the next time we meet he tell me he gotta a girlfriend and makes himself unavailable. He would arrive and leave campus at different times so I couldn't catch him. Never saw him againn

Next dude was Asian. He was checking me out, introduced himself, and did the same thing as the white dude. leads me on thinking maybe he wants to take me out and try to get to know me but he mentions he has a girlfriend the next time we run into each other and disappears.

i had the same thing happen with two other non black guys. they pursue me, show interest, and then disappear. it never gets to a first date. what is up with this? why can't i get a relationship with a non black guy to go anywhere? they're not as persistent as black dudes and i dont want a black man. do i need to try a dating site?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So when they're pursuing you and showing interest, how are you reacting?

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    • Like I would with any guy. Just talk about about general stuff work, family etc I dont know why it never leads to anything. If it were a black guy, he would have asked for my number but with white guys it doesn't lead to anything. They just flirt, show attraction and then become distant or disappear

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    • If I asked him if he wanted to touch my butt and placed his hand on it, would that have been too forward?

    • I suspect a lot of guys would be thinking -hookup- not date at that point. Some would be thinking both.

What Guys Said 14

  • pick any guy no matter what his skin color is, paint his skin white and then date him.

    sseriously you shouldn't care about skin color. people are people. but if the whites don't like you cause you're black it's their problem not yours

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  • I am a white boy ^^ and I know that a lot of white boys want to a black girl ;) I think if you really want to get a white boy, you can find him easyly

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  • Speaking as a white dude, I find black women very attractive, but I've never been in a relationship with one. We're out there. You'll find one of us eventually if that's what you're looking for.

    Best of luck.

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  • Are you still in high school? Dating in high school includes a bunch of extra social crap many young boys can't overcome. If you're in college, it should be a bit easier to meet and date men of your preference. I was 43 before I dated a black girl. They were just never on my radar. Anyway, I was on oKCupid and I received a message from a girl to break the ice. We were a 96% match and she was/is beautiful. Fast forward》》 we've been living together for about a year and it's the best relationship either of us have ever had. She had dated mostly white guys and while she may be hesitant to say it herself, she obviously has a preference. So, my advice is just put yourself in places you want to be and the people you like will probably be there too. Then, don't be afraid to break the ice and even make or suggest a date. You have nothing to lose. All the best!

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    • Why were black women never on your radar?

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    • It's your right a sentient being to be offended. Waste of time, but it's your right. In my line of work, I'd spend 8-10 hours a day with them for months even years. And I don't date clients/customers.

    • My immediate family, if you include my current relationship, is 80% interracial. I've seen these relationships not just work, but thrive.
      It's fair to say that I don't know you well enough to make an assessment, but your rush to be offended may factor into your difficulties. I honestly wish you the best, whatever hue he may come in.

  • Get one who doesn't already have a boyfriend.

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  • Do you know any White girls? maybe you could hang out with them to meet White guys.

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  • date a black man. maybe you are too ratchet for them, lol. just kidding, but it seems they liked you from a distance and then you messed everything up with whatever you said to them when you had your minidates.

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  • This world is full of dudes who hunts chicks like u,,, hire them use them throw them,,, hunt new one n cycle goes,,,,,, shame on all these lads n ladies...

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  • May I ask what is wrong with dating a Black man?

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    • Just want to expand my horizons. Black guys date out all the time so I will do the same

    • That's understandable, it was the way I read it, it seemed like you had a problem with Black men and would write off all Black men.

  • show me your picture maybe I can tell what they were thinking.. Yup.

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  • lighten your skin...

    no, just be yourself..

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  • White guys are either into black girls totally or just not at all (just want to be friends) I'm white and I tried dating a black girl once because I was just curious. I find black girls to be much more direct and "straight up" about what's on their minds then white girls... and I liked that. Physically though... I just didn't feel it. However I have had white friends who find black women very attractive... but they are a small minority. If you want to date a non-black guy you are going to need to play the numbers game. There are interested white guys out there... but it's a small percentage of them.

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    • what didn't you like physically about the black girl?

  • Maybe your perm is poorly on or maybe you stiiink

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  • After reading some of your comments it seems you don't flirt enough back. But why are you so concerned if they're not black?

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    • Because I prefer white men that's why

    • Whatever makes you happy lol

What Girls Said 7

  • Oh goodness, Love yourself. These bastards won't. And they do not want you. Read the shit they write. By doing this, you're putting yourself out there to be taken advantage of. I suggest you stop looking and let whatever it is, come to you. And whatever you do, don't ask anyone out. They are always talking about how black girls are always asking them out. They throw that in these (imaginary) black girls' faces. They use that shit against you, so don't do it.

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    • Why am I always being told nobody wants me because Im a black woman? that really hurts to hear this

    • But I'm black too. I say that, because these weirdos make it clear time and time again that they don't like or want black women. I don't care, because when I see them in real life I don't even look at them or talk to them. BUT it seems like a few black women online love putting themselves out there. They love that. It kinda hurts to see. These are the same people saying we're not human, making studies on how no one wants us. Black women should be ignoring them. Compared to that, black men are not that bad geez. Most black men do still want black women and are quicker to defend us when we're being attacked. Don't buy into the media hype that they don't want us. They (these whackos) started that too... if you think about it. They really are devils... damn.

    • So, it's ok for black men and white women to find love outside of their race, but I can't because I'm black and other men will just use me? That is just an unfair double standard. I'm not gonna fall for the brainwashing. I dont want to date a black man

  • I think going on certain types of sites could help. I've never really was able to get a different race guy either until I went on this one site and ended up dating two white guys and now I'm currently engaged to one :)

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  • You know most are just after sex because of your great looking ass.

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    • a white guy can have a genuine interest in me. tired of being made to feel like i'm not worthy of love and i have to be with a black man because everyone else wil just use me. i dont want to be with a black man.

  • It sounds like a lot of guys are interested in you, just be nice flirt and be yourself! You need a good guy whether he is white or not.. When you find a guy you like back make the effort and he'll stay:)

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  • try online dating and state in your profile that you only want non-black dudes to date you.

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  • I'm just curious why you're vying so hard for a nonblack guy. It's kinda disturbing. 😒

    My advice: Ask out non black guys. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

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    • A lot of black guys are moving on and I feel like I should as well by dating out. I also dont want to have kids who will be dark and discriminated against

    • People like what they like. The point of racial equity and/or feminism is to be free to choose for youself, am I right?

    • See comments like that make me hate my own race.

  • Maybe they just like admiring your booty as a one time only thing 🍑🍑🍑

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