Can opposites date longterm?

We like totally different music. I'm totally different from his previous girlfriends, personality wise and looks (but I'm not really worried about that). His ex's had a lot in common with him, whereas I'm still getting to know him and he hasn't opened up much about his past to me yet but we only recently started dating. I've been pretty frank and open and I don't have much of a past to talk about but apparently his past relationships were a bit difficult and he just came into terms with them.

*** his shortest relationship between his 2 serious girlfriends was a year and longest was almost 2 years.
These relationships happened over a couple years ago. But he recently broke up with a friends with benefits of 3 years when we started dating.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you don't need to hear about his past relationships? what are you worried about? nobody likes to be defined by their past and i think maybe if you care about his past relationships so much it's going to make him feel like your going to judge him for things that aren't important to the relationship you have together now, it should not be impoerant whatsoever... he probably knows if he tells you that you may start trying to compare yourself to the other girls he dated and honestly you already are by saying your different to his previous girlfriends and that you don't have this and that like they do... but i think you need to stop worrying about that, opposites can attract definitely!. I liked his guy who watches football and likes sports but i don't like ether lol but yet we still found other things we have in common which didn't make us so much of an opposite after all. Everyone will have opposite interests and beliefs no matter who we are, i probably even have opposite interests and beliefs to you as well, i think many people tend to focus on the things they can't relate to in a person than what they can relate to in a person, so try not to judge him on his past but for the person he is now? and find things you do have in common.

    • You see, the thing is, he's a musician and I like the music he composes and plays and I like all sorts of music in general but sometimes I wonder if that's enough. He has a lot of girl friends and one girl constantly messages him, calls and texts him all the time. I know they're probably close friends since they attend the same school and are apart of the same music group and have friends in common but I feel a little lost tbh. I haven't met her yet and he hasn't talked about her to me, so I'm still learning things.

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    • I hate to admit it but yes, you're right, I am jealous. I don't really know how to deal with this because I've only been in one short relationship before, with a guy who was extremely good to me, so I never felt threatened. But this is different and I hope have something with him.

    • I think if it's very early on then don't try to judge him so soon, i know making yourself feel vunereble is very scary but if you want something with him then you have to learn to trust him, tell him about the problems your having too, tell him everything you;ve told me because he's probably wondering why you kept asking him about his past relationships, when you are open with him at all times then you can build that trust with him, through out a relationship your always buiding the trust and always proving to each other every day you can always trust each other, it's a constant thing, so when your open and honest with him i'm sure he will love you more for it, try to also enjoy yourself too though, don't be all serious and stuff, love isn't just about commitment it's about enjoying yourselves with each other, so find what your both interested in, why don't you go to one of his shows that he composes?, or get him to play for you and you can sing together (even if you can't sing lol).


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What Guys Said 3

  • Most of the girls I've dated have been into the same stuff I have (in terms of music, that's mostly death metal).

    My current girlfriend doesn't like my music. She prefers country and pop, two things I can't really stand. On road trips, we find something else to listen to.

    Compromise solves a lot of problems before they even start.

    And we don't really have much in common except that we're complete dorks for each other. Nothing else seems to matter. It just works.

  • Of course! If only similar people could date long term, don't you think his previous girlfriends, who were similar to him, wouldn't be his exes?

    • I'm not really sure what happened in his past relationships, or why they broke up but he's still fiends with them.

    • I agree, but you do no for sure that they broke up, and that's all the information you need to realize that being similar or different doesn't really affect the length of a relationship, as long the as the two understand each other at an emotional and intellectual level, instead of only physical.

  • WHere love exists, anything is possible. You don't have everything in common as long as you two are in love with each other. Don't be afraid to try new things.


What Girls Said 1

  • It is more about your values and long term goals