Am I overthinking this?

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. We go to the same college and that's where we met. It was great in the beginning. He was super sweet and I saw him every day. Ever since the break, it's been hell for me. He doesn't like to text so therefore, I hardly get to talk to him. We live an hour away from each other and he works a lot too. He's only called me twice during the break and that was because I told him too. We spent New Year's together and I told him how him not texting me drives me crazy because with my ex-boyfriends, when communication wasn't as frequent, it meant they were about to break up. He said he would work on it and in return, I wouldn't be sarcastic with him. However, he didn't text me at all yesterday until 10:30 when he told me good night. Today I asked him what he was doing and he said he was eating an ice cream cone at the park alone. I asked him why he was alone and he said it gives him time to think. That doesn't seem good does it? And I haven't been obsessing or anything. I don't bombard him with text messages. It just makes me so insecure and I worry all of the time that something is going to go wrong. He told me about a month ago that when we first started dating, I was a rebound from his previous girlfriend so ever since then, I've been freaking out a lot. (Although he said that I'm not a rebound now and all of his friends and my friends have said that he loves me) But why else would he need to think alone? It just doesn't sound good. The bad thing is that my best friend and his best friend like each other and his friend has come down to see my friend 7 times since the break and they're not even dating (she even has a boyfriend) and he has only come down to see me twice. Am I crazy for getting worked up over this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • In the beginning of any beguine in a Date mate relationship, there are things you learn about one another down the line. And if everything is Hunky Dorey with your certain chemistry, there could be More in Store for a potential partnership. However here, dear, it doesn't have to be etched in stone that by you both on this Break, he has been doing some serious soul searching and without giving me more signs, the ones he is shooting are-----He was alone and he said it gives him time to think.
    He most likely has been giving your relationship in Question some serious thought while on this break. He was 'Eating an ice cream alone at the park alone,' rather than being with you or Even-------Communication wasn't as frequent. He is pulling back from you. He may see you have been 'So insecure and I worry all of the time that something is going to go wrong' that he is growing cold duck feet now. He hears the sarcasm in your voice, knows you've been 'Freaking out alot' and it is giving him this sour ball in his mouth if perhaps he wants to continue.
    You both need to sit down and hash this out before it goes dead in the water. Tell him you realize some of the error of your ways and you would like a chance to work on these. Some compromise has to be done to save the day so it doesn't end up a permanent 'Break' in the end.
    Your friend and his friend have all the right moves with seeing one another '7 times since the break.' This is telling me there is a problem in Denmark and as a couple who Is 'Even dating,' you need to work on this so you can Continue-----Dating.
    You have a right to be 'worked up over this,' but 'Crazy' in some ways is where it is putting a wedge in between your relationship with him and Why 'He Has only come down to see me twice.'
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to help shed some light on this subject...:)) xxoo

What Guys Said 1

  • You're not overthinking it, but you are right, he should fulfill his promises.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hhhmm, it's a tough one to say, honestly. I wouldn't jump the gun and freak out though. I feel bad for you, since he outright told you that he dated you on the rebound, but with that in mind he is probably in a confused state right now and really does need time to think things through. I would let his process take effect, if you really like him, let him know that he can have his space, and that you're always there when he is ready to talk to you, even if he does decide on breaking up. Often times when someone dates another person shortly after breaking up with their ex, they jump the gun, and later in the relationship they realize that they don't really know this new person they're dating. This can be pretty unsettling, you know? And on top of that there's the distance, which is hard on any relationship. Don't let yourself freak out. If you like him, and he does break up with you, it will hurt, but stay friends, don't lash out at him. Stay friend and let him get to know you as a friend, and maybe that will help push you're relationship to knew heights. But I can't stress it enough, don't assume, don't freak out, just be there for him as best as he will allow you to be.

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