20 years old, never had a girlfriend, am I loser? :(?

The chances for me getting a girlfriend for an unemployed socially awkward goofy looking loser with no life goals and no social life like myself is very slim. I never been on a date, I never had sex, I never kissed, I never cuddled and I never even came close holding hands with a girl. I'm a shy person especially towards girls. I'm gutted to say that not many girls find me attractive and I know for fact that most girls in today's society are so shallow they judge guys by the way they look not by their heart. I'm not a very good looking guy but I have a down to earth personality but its shame that I appear invisible to most girls.

I've been called ugly before back in my early teens, I got bullied at school because of my physical appearance and for being shy. I'm not popular or attractive in any way, I don't think there are girls that have a crush on me or telling me they have feelings for me or telling me I'm attractive.

I'm not good looking (most girls think I'm ugly and weird), not popular, hardly have any friend, no job but I got until 15th Jan to apply for uni but I doubt any unis would want to take me on. My life gets more and more pointless every year. What's the point being in this **** planet if you're still going round in circles accomplish nothing but failure.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Attitude, personality, and your moral character are what matter the most. Don't focus on all that other stuff so much. 20 is young and you still have plenty of time to make great things happen in your life.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Do you feel you have no resources to start fresh? hmm... Don't use your neg. past as a crutch. Lost it and work yourself , whether if it means exercising daily to feel more confident and good about yourself.. or just studying up on something so you can make a trade out of it.

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  • Ok, so first of all i don't think your priority is finding a girl that likes you. First you have to love yourself the way you are and than try to change things that you think should be changed. I don't mean change your apperance and than everything will change.. in mean work on yourself, find out why you are shy and why you don't have any ambitions, why you don't have a more positive view on the world. I think a good psycho therapist would be really helpful. I had few problems like yours for a while, and my answer was praying. For me only god can help me change.. by people, experiences. I tried to change myself and i know that it is hard and sometimes impossible.. so let God change you:) best of luck

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  • U need to gain some confidence! Thats all! Not all girls are superficial and not all care about money, job , looks. I think as long as u can be good with urslef, have enouhg money so u dont freeload and are kind and careing u will find someone

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  • You're not a loser. You can decide to define yourself or be defined by others, your choice. If you're depressed, which it sounds like you are talk to a doctor and ask for therapy. You can choose to change your life or be miserable.

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  • You have very low self esteem, and it's understandable why. But you have to understand that high school is just that... it's high school. It's not the real world. Kids can be very cruel, but they were just taking out their own fears and insecurities on others, namely you. I'm sorry you went through that situation but now you have two choices: you can let your insecurities overpower you, or you can overpower your insecurities. You have to realize that insecurities on any guy can be non-attractive, I've dated attractive guys who's insecurities made them douches and jealous. Honestly, it's not attractive. And also, i got my first kiss at 21. Its not a race. Work on yourself, on your confidence. Trust me, it'll make a huge difference.

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What Guys Said 9

  • You aren't a loser for being single.

    You're a loser for letting other people define your self value.

    Change that, and you won't be a loser anymore.

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  • Hey I am 18, Virgin, Never kissed or hold hands never even played eyes game. I do not want a gf until I am able to afford everything of my own. Inspire yourself for something bigger. Getting a girl is not all that you want in life. Follow it in 1month I bet you you will see the change.

    www.cracked.com/.../

    Once you are on your own, to easy your task change the town or place you live. Go somewhere new and keep good impression from start.

    Hey you are just 20 there are Virgin guys of age 40, once you open up to sex you drain all your manly fuel, the raging hormones and the desire to chase and hunt down success in your life.
    Do something that defines you. Once you hunt down success it will a slap and punch on the face of every bully who bullied you in past.

    In my case I was 35-45% scorer in class every teacher in school taunted me and made fun of me. In 10 standard I made 70%. In same school next 2yrs when I did high school no teacher dared to make a funny face to me. Because every single of them from 3rd to 7th said he won't be here after 8th standard.( our school only accepts the best kids in town for high school) He will fail. He will be kicked out.

    Think your success not as act of achievement you need but the revenge you seek.

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  • Mate don't give up I'm 20 and I'm still a virgin and never had a girlfriend first step law of attraction read about it get your self out there. You will get a girlfriend i was in the same boat then I decided to change only now are girls liking me. Do what you gotta do mate I know the struggle I've been through it and came out better and so will you !!👌👍👍

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  • You describe on this post yourself what your issues are. Fix them and you'll find eventually someone. You'll have to work hard for it. You may have a good heart, but you must also do something about your looks just like the females do for us.

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  • Change yourself.

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  • no, 20 is still young, maybe start worrying if you are 25 and older and still like this

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  • not a hater here. but thb, the only thing that makes you a looser is the fact that you have no life goals. other then that im almost the same way as you. im not a virgin anymore, but other then that, im also unemployed atm (taking advantage of it while i can), never really kissed a girl, or dated, or had a gf etc.
    but i do have some life goals!! wich has nothing to do with girls, but is important for yourself! my goals, wanting to reach them and working regularly on them, is what keeps me grounded. i know lots of people with no goals. they are always 'busy' playing video games with friends lol, so they dont care and/or sometimes dont even notice that they dont have any. but, specially if you are a bit of a lonely person, like myself, i do believe that you need life goals so you feel like you have a purpose in life and stay grounded. if it wasn't for my big passion, i would have lost it many years ago!! it makes me feel better about myself!
    even though many girls will like the fact that you are pursuing something and want to make something for yourself, you should have some just so you can feel good about yourself! then the rest will come, i think...
    i mean, having a girl friend, can't be the only thing you want in life can it?

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  • Nope, you are not a loser, I'm 36 years old, and never had a girlfriend, so I'm an actual loser, you still have lots of time to change that :(((

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    • Wow man I do not know who you are but one time hats off for you! I hope I can keep myself altogether until I get a career or define myself In society.

    • Thanks

  • "most girls think I'm ugly and weird" How do you know that? I haven't clue whether girls find me attractive or not.

    As for whether you're a loser, you are if you just wallow in self pity instead of trying to do something about whatever problems you have.

    If being ugly really is the problem you could always try to meet a blind girl - but your own opinion of your appearance isn't always reliable, and I disagree about all girls being completely shallow. Looks aren't irrelevant, but they certainly don't count for everything.

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