To any girls on here that have opinions about quieter, reserved guys... I'd appreciate some opinions on this?

I wasn't sure which topic to list this under, but I'm a quieter guy compared to most, at least when I meet someone new. I've had social anxiety and it's tough to, in general, strike up conversation with people or approach people, especially when it's a girl I'd like to talk to. I'm 22, and from this I really haven't been able to maintain, and even have many relationships in my life. Although if someone gave me a bit more time than most people to warm up to them, I'd be as outgoing as anyone else. Unfortunately most people don't... at least that I've come across. Also, with anxiety, I have trouble going to public places, where people would go to meet or go on a date, and restaurants or dinner is (as strange as it sounds to most people) really hard and pretty much a definite bad idea for me unless I already know the person well, and in dating, I obviously wouldn't too much.

I'm curious as to what anybody's take on this is? And with girls, what they'd think of someone like that. Would they give them a chance if they thought they might like him?

Due to personal reasons regarding the social anxiety, I don't have a large group of friends or many people to ask about this... so I'm asking here.

Any opinions would help, and I'd appreciate them. Also, if you have a question about what I'm asking more specifically, feel free to say so.

Any help, as I said, would be appreciated, and to anyone commenting, please keep the negative or judgmental comments out of here. This is an honest question and I'm looking for helpful answers that might come to benefit myself for future situations, not answers to make me feel worse about myself.

Thanks for helping if you do, and for keeping the negative comments to yourself if you have any.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know what you mean , I have anxiety also , it really sucks to deal with. I think shy guys are cute and eventually I can open them up , as long as he will talk to me and not just sit there without talking then id definitely give him a chance , it might be awkward at first but it is for everyone. Just be yourself and I'm sure any girl will like you :)

    • Thank you! That's definitely giving me some optimism and hope haha. But yeah, anxiety sucks, and I wish there were more people, in general, who don't mind shy or quiet guys, and are willing to give it more time because of that. But thank you for your opinion!


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What Girls Said 2

  • I love shy guys!! I knew a shy guy at my old work.. but he didn't speak to me :( I thought maybe he wasn't into me... he was but, he didn't want to make a move.. he was too shy. I think it's cute when guys are shy, there's more to them.

  • I get the anxiety thing because I have it and it's not fun. It's tricky with being quiet and reserved because it often comes across as standoffish or mean and it makes it hard for people to approach you.

    At some point you just have to start taking risks. Putting yourself out there. And I know that's easier said then done.


What Guys Said 1

  • I'm pretty shy. When you keep asking girls out though, it feels great every time. Eventually you like it to a point where you don't even care whether or not they turn you down (even though you'd always prefer they didn't). You have to always do things slightly discomfortable to get over your shyness (although part of it will always remain as who you are). Try talking to ordinary strangers at work, class, etc. the more you get out of your comfort zone on daily basis the easier it'll be for you to find something to talk about with the person you like.