Be with a guy who treats u like crap but is committed OR be with the 1 who treats u perfect but is not not making a commitment?

Should I settle for the guy that has me as his gf is ready to get married & have kids (so am I) but isn't there when I need him (esp when I am ill), the only 'nice' word he ever called me was 'sexy', no romantic gestures --no flowers no gifts for birthday, Christmas, nothing! But , the sex is awesome, great chemistry, says he loves me (but his actions shows otherwise) he is handsome, he introduced me to his folks & he takes me out often but he argues a lot,

Whereas the other guy is younger, but he treats me really good, romantic, is there for me all the time when I'm in need, he introduced me to his closest friends, we go out on rare occasions but he is studying & not yet financially secure as the other 1, yet he gets me gifts, we do fun stuff together, he gives me sweet compliments like telling me how awesome I am & how beautiful I look, we have deep talks, I know a lot about him, we have a lot in common, but he didn't give me 'gf status' & never tells me how he feels. Intimate with him as well.
Torn.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going to guess guy 1 has been on the scene longer than guy 2? Was guy 1 more like guy 2 when you first started seeing him?

    That's the oroblem with guys, a lot of them start off as guy 2 then turn into guy 1, what make you so sure this guy 2 won't turn into guy 1 when he has you all to himself and the excitement fades.

    Sorry don't want to depress you but relationships change over time, when you decide just make sure you aren't letting the novelty and excitement of a newer relationship sway you and you are really judging both of them fairly

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    • Actually, guy 2 was on the scene much much longer than guy 1, 'Broke off' with guy 2 because he wasn't making any commitment , but after reconsidering, he treated me really good & we started seeing each other again because I was not getting that satisfaction from guy 1.

    • Haha, well bang goes that theory then, although even rekindling an old flame can make it seem more exciting.

      Probably best to ditch guy 1 and keep guy 2 around but don't hold for commitment, let him have his freedom and you have yours, then you can enjoy being with him but still find someone who will commit to you who you want to be with.

      Don't ever commit for the sake of commitment

What Guys Said 8

  • You write that one treats you like crap. Don't be with anyone that isn't committed to you. To tell you the truth they both don't sound committed to you. But I also must say given the fact that there are two men in your life you are not committed to them as well.

    There is nothing wrong with it. You have to get to know who they are before you go to deep so I fully understand. What i am saying is "Do they know about each other?". Is there maybe a reason why they don't give you their all. Are they holding back because they feel there is competition. Or maybe this is just they way they are and it just won't change. Try and find that out before you make a decision.

    Good luck.

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  • That kind of is a dilemma. I know obviously that the younger guy thing won't fly anywhere, and your current bf seems to be completely clueless as to what you want. Have you talked to him about how you feel? because he is just acting too typical of a guy. If you have and there was no change, you may have to distance yourself from both, its a possibility. A good relationship is based on a healthy balance, you get balance, but from 2 sources, not cool.
    If you haven't, then talk to him (the bf). Don't make it some necessity, just point out how nice and happier you would be if he did those things. Or you can bring him to GaG and we can tenderize him for you. It will be my pleasure lol.

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  • Stay with guy one. He knows what he wants and has chemistry with you. Men usually aren't romantic, if you want romantic your best bet is to date a woman lol.

    Guy two is a gamble, just because he treats you right now doesn't mean he will in the future. Plus he may not be as good of a provider if you want kids.

    3rd option is go with neither, but I'm sure you won't do that.

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  • buy a vibrator and dump the douche, if the other guy has a promising future help him nurture it and he will be forever gratefull

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  • How about being with neither one? Is that an option?

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  • You can see both...

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  • i dont get it. are you so desperate to get a man, that you had to make yourself a ultimatum and choose betweent these 2? sounds to me that both of them won't work for what you want. so i dont know what you're hoping to hear here.
    just keep looking for a guy that has the good things from guy 1 and 2

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  • If this was a post from a guy, the women would be all over what a jerk he was for banging two women at a time.
    And they would be right.
    Go with neither since you don't deserve the trust of anyone.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Any guy that wouldn't treat me right would never have even penetrated my outermost defense zones.
    Relationships extend.
    If he doesn't even treat you right, just imagine how he will be with the kids.
    Me personally, am leaving exit skid marks.
    Just saying!

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  • i have a novel idea.

    perhaps the second guy won't commit to you because you're... already... dating... someone... else...

    JUST A THOUGHT.

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  • The second one, however if he won't let you in then that counts as not treating you well.

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  • Lmao you're guy #1s 'girlfriend' and you're dating ?

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  • Neither is on the same age with you.

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  • so you're saying guy no 1 is your bf and you're cheating on him with guy no 2?

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  • WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE THAT TREATS ME LIKE CRAP..

    This is kinda silly.. I don't give a fuck if " he commits "...

    And wouldn't care either. I'm usually the one with the commitment issues anyway..

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