i just came into grade 9, my school is really big, and I don't have any friends ( I KNOW a lot of people there, but they don't really count). anyway, there's a girl who is in several of my classes, she's really cute, and I've learned through the use of small talk what music she likes, her name, what she likes to draw and so on. I just wanted to know how much more should I get to know here before I ask her out? I'm a pretty shy kid, and right now I'm blending into the crowd, and I've never thought about this until now.
anyway, how should I do this, where should I take her out if she says yes, and how well should I get to know her before I'm trapped in the friend zone?
thanks for the help!
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, I think you’re a genius dude!
I never had the insight to seek out answers from experts (I happen to consider myself an expert at dating, but my many ex-girlfriends might disagree) until I was about 26, so I applaud your efforts.
So now I will try my best to help.
A very wise pickup artist once said “To get that ONE girl you must learn how to get EVERY girl.”
You’re never going to walk onto a basketball court and win the school championships without first learning how to play basketball.
If you REALLY want to “get this girl” then you must be willing to put in some time learning the basics of “attraction, “rapport” and “escalation.” You can Google these topics and I suggest you do.
There really is no “quick” pickup line that’s going to win over any girl at any time. But learning how attraction works will do WONDERS for your dating life.
The world’s best Pickup Artists became as good as they are by attempting to pickup many many women – not just one. I suggest you consider this same tactic.
When I was in grade 11 I was in love with Penny from my chem class. We had playful banter (google “banter”) but I never had the balls to ask her out.
You know what happened? As soon as I started dating someone else Penny suddenly started noticing me. Why? Because there’s a part of the human mind that is influenced by “Social Proof.”
Ever notice how there’s one guy in class all the girls like, and who all end up dating him? It starts like an avalanche.
The key is to always leave a girl better then when you first met her. Don’t leave girls broken when you break up… she might be sad, but she should never be mad.
Despite all of what I’ve said I’m still going to give you some quick pointers!
1) Learn how to flirt – with EVERY girl, not just the hot ones. It’s good practice, plus girls will learn you’re not doing it to impress anyone.
2) Learn to tease – this is a subtle version of flirting actually. Don’t be mean, only be fun. For example: “Hey Suzy. Wow, this is the third time I’ve seen you in the hall today… I’m starting to think you’re stalking me! Ha! Would it be easier if I just give you my class schedule?” – wink and smile.
3) Do your homework – google the terms “Attraction” “Flirting” and “rapport.” Your goal is to start building attraction. Once you’re positive she’s into you (after a few dates) then you can start working on Rapport.
4) First dates should be simple, short, and innocent. Sometimes it’s fun to not even call it a date, but instead to invite her to join you – “Hey, wanna help me pick out some jeans at the mall tonight? I need a girls advice.” Or “Hey, you’re a blast in class! Let’s check out that new icecreme place downtown! How about around 6? What’s your number?”
Best of luck dude,