Why did he keep this a secret, when it's not a big deal?

I'm confused.. or maybe I'm not. I don't know. But anyway I've been seeing this guy and so far it's been going okay. We met through a mutual friend. So it's been almost a month since we started I guess seeing each other.

Our friend came over to my crushes house so we can all hang out. Our friend was talking about his birthday this weekend. Our friend invited me out to join them all and I can't wait. But I guess on Saturday our friend has a hot date and he was telling me where it is. Then my crush was like "shhhhhhhhhhh you weren't suppose to tell her" and I asked "why" my crush responded "because I'm going." And I just said "okay."

But why did he have to keep it a secret. I don't care if he goes out, we both have our own lives. But the whole thing being a "secret" is bothering me. I mean I know I shouldn't be jealous and I'm not a jealous girl so this whole thing is throwing me off. I mean we aren't official so it shouldn't matter what he does.

He's been giving me mixed signals, like he tells me we have plans... but then he decides to go without me and I mean i don't mind as long as he tells me instead of not telling me. I don't know if I'm just a rebound to him even though he tells me I'm not. But he did get out of a 2 year relationship in October. And they were engaged but he broke up with her because he wasn't happy.

I mean if he just wants to be single, he should tell me right? Instead of calling me babe and that he misses me and take me out on dates... right?

Hmmmm.. yeah I'm confused. Help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • avoid this block him, on any social website you are with him. he is a good game player and he is not actually happy from his life. he is searching for the happiness but he can't find it. he is frustrated.

    he plays mind games. and it was the mind game to play with you... and make you keep thinking of him.

    if you want a girl to think of you ,,, you have to confuse her. with random things and make her think that you are hiding and blah blah blah, well its just a game play , and it won't go long for you, if yo want your self happy and you love to be happy, just breakk all the contacts with him. and find another boy who can hold you not anyone else and someone who dont play mind games and not a playboy

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What Guys Said 12

  • He is probably trying to avoid her. He probably isn't interested in her but he is trying not to be an ass. Don't think about it too much, it probably means nothing. Just awkward when someone likes you and you don't want to sound mean. He's avoiding having to say "I'm not interested" to her. If it was anything else he wouldn't have told you anything at all.

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  • Mixed signals? Hiding things from you? Sounds like he is giving you just enough attention to keep you hanging around hoping for more. He tells you what you want to hear so he doesn't have to be alone but he is not that into you. Don't waste your time hoping for more. Go out with him if you are going to have a good time but don't wait around for him. To him, you're an option, not a priority.

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  • Back in 2008 my then fiancĂ© and I broke up. I was crushed and for a while didn't know what to do. So I decided no need to sit around a mope. I decided I was going to date again. It was fun for me to be back in the dating scene but soon I wanted something more serious but didn't want to rush into it to fast to as to not repeat a major break up. Eventually things worked out great.

    If your friend is still willing to take you out, buy you dinner, pay for your movie tickets, and you enjoy that, then I would just go along with it. When he is ready to move forward it will be because he is confident that you won't be a repeat break up. If you find that you are not into him enough to wait, then you might as well date other guys too. Hope that helps.

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  • It appears he doesn't know or realize that you two are official. You may need to make him aware of that. And also, if you two aren't official, why are you making a big deal on it being a secret or not?

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  • It seems to be one of two things: either A ) the girl he was engaged with was insanely jealous and he had to sneak around if he wanted to have any female friends at all and he got the wrong impression that all girls are like that or B ) he enjoys getting away with things behind your back. I can't help you tell the difference between those two. I guess you are just going to have to watch to see what else he does.

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    • yeah his ex was very clingy, and never let him do anything. Whereas I don't care what he does, as long as he just doesn't lie to me or play games.

  • he was pretty childish to act that way however you are also being a little immature about it just let it go it's no big deal. This is cute haha

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  • Maybe he doesn't know how to tell you what he feels. Believe me when I say that men are far more emotionally complex then we are given credit for

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  • that's weird and kind of stupid

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  • I think he just didn't want you to feel left out it sounds like.

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  • I'd burn the s*** outta that bridge quick fast and in a hurry... Unless you want a one night stand that could possibly turn into regular booty calls

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  • I don't know ask him
    answerm ien

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  • he's hiding something
    answerm ien

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What Girls Said 2

  • He may like you, but he's not ready for the commitment that comes with those feelings. Also, he is probably doing his own thing after being in a relationship for 2 years.

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  • He's not ready for a committed relationship.

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