Anything I should know about dating a military guy?

My boyfriend is in the military we just started dating for 6 weeks now. I really like him a lot.. are their any tips or things i need to know about military men? How was the relationship? My boyfriend is stationed in fort hood which is only 30 minutes away from me and i only get to spend the weekends with him since he's always working but we Skype and talk on the phone a lot.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am a woman pushing 60 but look darn good and still have men hitting on me! I've even had older 20 somethings hit on me so I can honestly say I know a little about men. I have a son who is in the Marines, my dad was in the Navy and I used to date nothing but military men in my younger years. So here goes.. Unless you two were an item in high school or college, it is very unlikely that anything permanent is going to happen. Military men are notorious of having a girl in every port. Let's face it. Most women like a man in uniform, have a great job, look well groomed and travels. But the down side of this is that they know it! They know they can have their pick of the ladies when they are stationed somewhere new. The majority of them are not looking for something permanent as they are too involved into their military careers to be worrying about marriage and children. This is especially true if they are newbies. Most are just wanting a sex buddy or someone to get drunk with while their on leave. Sorry if this bums you out, but like I said... I've been there, done that.

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    • Is there anyway i can know for sure that he isn't cheating? I mean he goes to California next month and Korea in June.. I'm just afraid he will cheat in California. But he tells me a lot he is very serious about me.. he even took me to fort hood to meet some of his soldiers and platoon sergeant. When i met them it was obvious that he'd talked about me to them because they were excited to meet me. Me and him had a long conversation though about him being away a lot and he told me they weren't going to station him in another state until years & to think positive. .. so is this relationship worth it?

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    • Well, I have 20 years Navy, and I don't mean just 1.5 years active, I mean20 years active. Been stationed overseas and made lots of cruises from US home ports. Truth is for a lot of military, and my experience shows that is over half, once outside the states guys go wild. Single, attached, married, lots of them just go nuts. Lots of the contacts are with prostitutes since they are not there long enough to get girlfriends, especially the Navy. Lots of the guys are great guys and loyal, but many have no respect for the wife back home.

    • " Military men are notorious of having a girl in every port. "

      Captain Kirk had a girl on every planet (or Starbase) and his character was created by Gene Roddenberry of the US Army Air Corps...

What Guys Said 26

  • I am a Disabled Army Vet that has been married for almost 5 years. Before I went in I ended up getting married before I joined the Army so I could collect a higher pay check. i only new my wife for four months before we got married however i guess that we had a type of arrangement that it was more bussiness however we clicked and even though i am injured she is still with me and as loyal as ever. Our spark is still alive all things considering. it depends on the Branch of service he is in. I have noticed that it takes a certain type of personality for specific branches of military. Also it depends on how long he has been in. If he is recent enlisted you have a few rough patches to get over but if he is a Sgt. rank or higher and has been in there for more then a year and a half I would say have fun because that should be the onlything left. You can travel and there are a lot of benifits as in cool stuff and places to go and see. Take it a day at a time and don't sweat the small stuff.

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  • Depending on his MOS, he won't see combat trust me on that. The uniform doesn't make him any different than a civilian. So the way he is acting now, is the way he would be acting if he wasn't in the military. I'm USAF, but generally speaking, military members are SUPPOSED to move around every so often (4 years). He has a set of orders that states how long he will be at Ft. Hood for so you could ask him that. It all depends on what the Army wants from him so he could stay, or get stationed somewhere else. He will get notice (at least 6 months) that he will be deployed. There has never been a time where a military member was asked to deploy unexpectedly unless it's a catastrophic event. An example of this would be 9/11. Army deployments are long, very long. When I was deployed, most of the Army guys were there for at least 9 months; however, I'm pretty sure they can get leave to come back for a couple of weeks and then get sent back, but don't quote me on that.

    Other than that there is really nothing different from dating a military guy over a civilian. I always get confused as to when people say stay away from military men because the girl or him will cheat. We don't have to deploy to get cheated on/cheat, it would have happened anyway. The only thing that is going to hurt are the deployments, but waiting for your loved ones for that long and finally seeing them, trust me, it's a feeling you want to experience that very few do.

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    • He does the tanks. But he goes to California next month and Korea in June. I'm just nervous he might cheat on me in California and I'm kind of hesitant because people tell me military men are cheaters and they sometimes have a different girl at every port that's why i asked.

    • Like I said, he would cheat on you regardless.

  • Advice to you. Is keep ur guard up y'all aren't nothing to serious yet I presume and yet at the same time u must remain loyal and faithful to him and if he does care bout u to then it will be returned. Ummm as far as military relationships. It would be a different story if y'all had kids or were together since highschool or had years invested in the relationship you know but basing it off 6wks u kind of still got some time to figure out if that's life style you want to be involved in alright. Just be smart trust ur gut. Don't outsmart your common sense. Best of luck

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  • Im a veteran ahahah. I'll tell you how it is.. IF he trys to have sex with you in a heartbeat he ain't a keepe. If he wait it out then he is.. Dont give him sex... see how it goes.. and there will be many lonely times.. if you wanna know more pm me.

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  • Plan on moving a lot if you want to make it a long term relationship. Skype only goes so far :/ Make sure it is the right guy before you spend so much time, money, and energy following him.

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  • Depends on whether or not he's going to war and going to die. Desperate people don't really think too far ahead and he may just donate his kidney or something to you.

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  • He's gonna be horny ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!! TRUST!!! Also he'll almost exclusively be dealing with men 24/7 so if he's being an a$$ remind him that your a lady and you aren't gonna deal with his shiza. Also he's gonna be HORNY!!!

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  • has he done a term of service abroad? if so, watch out and be very understanding of possible PTSD. I know from my own experience that its a very sensitive topic, and that its difficult to talk about. BUT, when there is someone who is willing to be open and understanding about it, it can make his world so much better.

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  • pray there isn't a war...

    i mean that seriously...

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  • Whoa whoa whoa, this all is partly true. Many men, especially more experienced (mostly marines) were taught how to be well mannered, loyal, respectful and loving, you can also find the opposite, the uniform means NOTHING!! Unless he's in harms way, in which by the way what the fuck is a tanker? There's tank mechanics, people that supply tanks and people that run each part of them, but unless he's in harms way, treat him like a civilian, unless he acts like the typical military douche. Then you might have a problem just saying tho. Military men can be good or bad. Just like a civilian. It's about who you pick

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  • It's just like dating any other guy.
    The sex may be better if your dude is a PT stud. ( that MAY fall under relationships lol )
    uh. aside from that, I don't got any tips to be given here.

    ...
    I DONT FEEL HELPFUL. TT_TT.
    ...
    back to the cave. ( that's my way of saying God bless your soldier, hope you follow the ethos with him.:) )

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  • The song from Gang of Four titled "I Love a Man in a Uniform"

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  • Be prepaired to be alone for many months at a time. Raise family all alone. Forever worry about your man and be prepaired to live a lonely life all by yourself.

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  • Military. Depends on his age... I had a girl in every city I went to... regret it now but it was fun for me then. So maybe I don't regret it as much.

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  • Hope he doesn't get called off to war and killed.

    I'll hope for you :)

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  • You need to be okay with sleeping with a guy who has killed others.

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  • Military guys appreciate commitment. Even a small sacrifice can go a long way. Understand that he's also dating the army

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  • He will be gone a lot so unless you can spend a lot of time with him it's going to be hard to stay with him but if you both care for each other you can make it work

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  • He's gonna be horny, irritable, sailor-mouthed, and did I mention horny?

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  • He's in the army?
    What's his job?
    (That actually matters)

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  • high sex drives
    answerm ien

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  • he will be a good man
    answerm ien

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  • He probably has PTSD and will therefore rape and strangle you in your sleep

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  • 1. Military guys are either really distant or really clingy.
    2. We don't understand civilians because most of us were barely adult civilians before we joined.
    3. civilians don't understand us and that is annoying
    4. be proud of what he does but don't feed his ego too much. (Especially if he's infantry)
    5. be prepared to not see him for a long time
    6. be prepared to get cheated on or dumped
    7. don't get married. Wait till he's out if it lasts that long.
    8. It probably won't last that long (but I honestly hope it does.)

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  • they are usually short tempered. not recomended.

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  • Don't date/marry dudes in the military if you can't accept their job will always come first. Just avoid military dudes unless you just want to hook up and/or party.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I like the idea that he is 'Only 30 minutes away from me,' sweetie.. that is a Plus in your own cap right now. You have your 'Weekends with him' and even keep the lines of convo open wider in this field with doing 'Skype and talk on the phone a lot.' It sounds as though you both work together as two soldiers in this A-team you have created.
    I dated and got involved Once with an Army man when I was living Upstate, New york. Every so often, he would have to do this Guard Duty, working 24 hours a day in this shift. Other than that, he would have to go out in the field and do these Maneuvers which would entail him being out in the field for sometimes 3 weeks here and there.
    There is always the possibility he could get deployed anywhere or have to be transferred somewhere else... one never knows. And if they do any kind of 'bad boy behavior' that the military doesn't see fit, they get thrown in the brink for awhile to learn a hard lesson.
    Good luck... at ease, so far so good. xx

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  • They're just like regular guys. The reason they have a bad rap about being cheaters, players, etc is because most of them are in their 20's! Guys at that age like to party, get crazy, play the field, and compete for girls. Guys in the military are usually competitive. They work all the time and move around a lot, so what's point in trying to form a meaningful relationship? Most of them are only in it for the short term for the money. The serious lifers who want to be military are usually the more mature one in the bunch. I was a military wife, and it can be stressful being with a military man, even if you completely trust him.

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    • Is there anyway i can know for sure that he isn't cheating? I mean he goes to California next month and Korea in June.. I'm just afraid he will cheat in California. But he tells me a lot he is very serious about me.. he even took me to fort hood to meet some of his soldiers and platoon sergeant. When i met them it was obvious that he'd talked about me to them because they were excited to meet me. Me and him had a long conversation though about him being away a lot and he told me they weren't going to station him in another state until years & to think positive. .. so is this relationship worth it?

    • Do you trust him? That is your answer. If you can't trust him, his loyalty is worthless.

  • He will be away for LONG periods of time no doubt and if he's fighting there is a chance he could be killed and not come back i'm afraid :( it's great he's only 30 mins away though you certainly have it better than other girls who only hear from them once a few months just by letters because they are so far away and always on the move.

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  • It depends on the guy. There are assholes and there are good guys. You don't need any tips, just be yourself. My ex was from the air force and he was really intellegent and well behaved, my family liked him a lot.

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  • From my experience dating a military man, and my friends doing the same, they can be rather difficult further along in the relationship. Who knows, maybe your guy is different. I just know for me and the girls that use to date military men, they were very emotionally abusive, withdrawn, hot tempered, easily angered, condescending, and all around horribly mean for no reason. My ex would make it a point to make me look stupid in front of all of his friends. He made me question my own intelligence very often. He kept me away from my family and friends. He, his family and friends, were pretty much all I knew for three years. There were times where he was really sweet, and that is why I stayed for as long as I did. I took a short trip abroad, we had switched phones because his phone was a lot better over seas. When I came back to the states we switched our phones back and I found out he had been cheating on me with a married woman for the three years we were together (all the evidence was on my phone, pictures, texts, everything). As well as texting/receiving nude pictures from women he told me were just his "friends". When I finally decided to leave I only had my happiness in mind, because he told me he would change, but I knew that wasn't true. I hope your guy is totally different.

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  • If he hasn't actually fought in the war and been overseas then he's probably a really awesome guy. But I dated someone who had fought overseas for a year and had severe PTSD. Scary. It's very hard to deal with and is like an emotional roller coaster. Not trying to stereotype all guys that fight overseas but just from my experience. Most military guys I know are great, really faithful to their gfs and good people though

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  • I was about to get involved with an ex marine. He was in a battle before, saw his friends get shot. It used to bother him a lot although he never reflected it on me. Although he was sensitive about it, whenever I said he was protecting his friends in the military, he got mad asking me if I've ever seen something like that.
    Then he started saying he was going again, he had to die on the battle field, that it was what he was trained for. It was one of the most painful things I've been through, hearing him deciding to go somewhere, sure that he is going to die. We had a rough conversation. I cried for a whole day. He's still around though, maybe he's waiting to be deployed or he changed his mind, I don't know.

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  • He may get moved to a different location, that's one thing to be aware of. The other is that military guys tend to be very bored with their lives, lol, at least in my experience.

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  • I had a relationship with a military guy. They're just like other guys haha, well, for me. For you, I see it's about distance, too. Just be practical and maybe keep your options open, too.

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  • It can definitely be an emotional rollercoaster. I dated a marine who was mature and well mannered but had difficulty communicating. You can find that military or not but his deployments definitely took a toll and I was left in the dark. Just one perspective

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  • Military guys have a tenancy to be players as they generally don't want to commit to someone since they get moved around a lot... so they generally just look for sex and that's it... I know from experience. But if he is a nice enough guy... You never know. It might work out. 😊

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    • He seems so nice so its hard for me to tell.. he took me to fort hood to meet some of his soldiers and his platoon sergeant and his family knows about me but considering what everyone said I'm afraid now

    • You never know though. Just be up front with him. Ask him what he is looking for.. Something long-term or a fling. That'd give an idea if he's truly into you 😊

  • They cheat and have drinking problems

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  • I heard they're crazy, controlling and or cheating and abusive

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  • I'd never date a guy from military just because if they face a traumatic even and turn crazy i don't want to get killed

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    • Event**

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    • My dad went over seas and faced things no man or woman ever should. He has not killed us even though he's been through a lot (Not going to say what because my father doesn't like talking about it and it's not my place to tell strangers.). My grandpa was in the military and he also has not killed us. We have guns in our homes. They're used for hunting.

    • My dad had PTSD from witnessing his best friend getting killed with a machete... They were both running away from the guy and his friend fell and told my dad to keep running and his friend was killed, plus he witnessed a man pushing a lady infront of a subway and she got killed by the train and the guy saw him and went after him, my dad went through mad crazy shit and he goes crazy it's hard dealing with people who have PTSD I wouldn't wanna deal with that ish over again

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