Why would a guy stop seeing you just as things are going so well?

Recently I was seeing a guy. We had absolutely amazing mental, emotional, and physical chemistry. From the moment we met we could talk about anything and everything, and when we were on dates, we both spoke about how we could be ourselves around each other, and just how amazing our attraction was.

Then out of the blue, he sent me this:

"I've been thinking a lot... whilst we both share feelings, I think yours are already much deeper than mine and I don't know if it would be fair for me to string you along.. I think you deserve someone who can give you all of themselves.. and i know you will find that person sooner rather than later.. just know this isn't easy for me."

I just don't understand. What more does it take? When you have such a strong physical, emotional and mental attraction with someone, what on earth would drive you to end the relationship so suddenly?

If it's of any relevance, he's 22 and I am 20.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, you never have chemistry WITH someone, you only have chemistry FOR someone. It's nothing but endorphins and other pleasant chemicals being released in your head that are caused by excitement, newness, and mystery, and they always fade in time.

    But just because you feel sparks flying for someone else, that doesn't mean they feel all that for you.

    I've been in your guy's situation more than once. Where I've been dating a girl for a few months, we have fun together, the sex is good, but I'm just not feeling for her. When I can tell that she's starting to get serious about me, and it's not just a good time for her anymore, I break it off, because she's a good person and deserves someone who ~feels~ for her, and experience tells me that if I stick around, It's just going to hurt her even more.

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What Guys Said 1

  • "We had absolutely amazing mental, emotional, and physical chemistry. " > You. You had absolutely blah blah blah.

    He clearly didn't think so.

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What Girls Said 1

  • With things going so 'Absolutely amazing mental, emotional, and physical chemistry here, dear, they were also moving along very quickly, even as though, love at first sight... however, they took a turn for the worse and Now this Bite With-----Then out of the blue, he sent me this...
    It doesn't have to be etched in stone with the writing on my own wall and all as to what went down and not so round. He grew cold duck feet and got scared and felt cornered. He decided on this whim and a prayer that things were moving along way too fast like a merry go round and he didn't want to be hooked at the hip nor tied down at this point in time in a Real Relationship... bottom line is, he had a change of heart and it happens all the time when things take off with a blast and then suddenly, someone comes back down to earth, realizing "Wow... what just happened here?"
    You both are young yet and of course age does have some 'Relevance.' There are young couples who jump into a relationship and one may even decide he wants to play the field and see what is on the other side. Even though you both may have possessed this Strong Everything for one another, the mind and the heart was telling him that it wasn't his time to give up what he had and Dedicate himself to the Biggest 'Physical, emotional and mental' Word of all: Commitment.
    Might I suggest contacting him and telling him you agree with him. However, throw in a few words of your own like nursing and nurturing your own slow flow, starting off as friends perhaps and seeing, if all possible, where it might goes. If not and it doesn't look probable, then move on to someone who isn't this duck out of water, who wants what you want as two birds of a feather.
    Let this little lesson in love and in your own life, tell you the next time, should something like this come your way, don't wear your heart on your sleeve and keep your guard up until you see whether it is going to be walk on eggs with no going south.
    Good luck. xx

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