I met two guys on a dating site. Lets call them guy A and B. I got really drunk at guy A's place and we hooked up but then I went on holiday break for a month since I'm in college. (But I hadn't met guy B in person at this point.) So I didn't see either guy for about a month. I kept talking to both via text or phone calls and made plans to meet after the break. I got really close to guy B during the break and we talked about how we would both like a relationship eventually so I took him more seriously. Fast forward, I finally return and I meet guy B in person for the first time and we really hit it off. We hooked up that night but I didn't sleep over. The next day I saw guy A and we messed around then that night I went back to guy B's place and stayed the night. Well, the next day I asked guy B if we were friends with benefits. He said he thought we were already in a relationship!! I was very happy but then felt horrible for not knowing. I'd cheated on him with the other guy!! So I told guy A why I couldn't see him anymore and he got super upset with me. Should I feel guilty for what I did to guy A? He never clearly said he wanted a relationship so I assumed we were just hooking up... And also, should I tell my boyfriend that I messed around with the other guy? I'm afraid I'll ruin our new relationship and he'll never forgive me.
Most Helpful Guy
What the heck? This is confusing, how did he come to the conclusion that you were both in a relationship? Did he ask the question? Or answered it?
It feels like something here was skewed towards your idea/perception, like you changed some facts, but that's just a feeling and you can dispute that.
What I think might have happened is, somehow you and guy B agreed to something and BAM were in a relationship. You met guy A again and messed around with him because of whatever reason, then felt guilty about it and here you are with this question.
That's just my bullshit suspicion of course, but if that were the case, my answer would be... wtf?
But if you had no idea you were dating, and what you typed happened as such, then THERE WASN'T A RELATIONSHIP. Then just tell him, I didn't know we were in a relationship already, I didn't agree to that, could we please start again?
This no strings attached hooking up stuff is totally out of my comfort zone though, I mean, you're clearly not ready for anything serious, otherwise you'd have figured out what you want and work towards that.
Tossing your body around is pretty much an immature mind mired in imaginary self-importance. It's basically not even putting your best in the relationship you might have in the future. Unless you gained something worth far more than the time, effort, and emotions put into sleeping around, it's pretty much borrowing from whatever you can give in the future to pay for short term pleasures now.
Think about how you would feel if your future husband marries you with enough wealth for a small house and a dog, but finding out that had he spent spent lots of money hooking up with other girls instead when he was younger.
e. g. That time could've been spent on GAG learning about how to deal with various relationship dilemmas than adding some really useless questions about problems that almost no one else would have asked.1