I'm a virgin but I don't want my bf to know... tips?

So I've never had sex (but I've had boyfriends and we've made out in bed). It's because I never felt that I clicked with any of my exes, and when I didn't want to have sex for a couple of months they all left me, and I was fine with that.

Now I'm dating this guy that I'm really into. I really experienced sparks and fireworks and this is the guy I want to have sex with. But as you can see I'm quite old and I don't want to put any undue pressure on him for making my first time special. I think that I can just write off the blood as period, but I was wondering if there are any tell-tale signs of virgins in bed. Do you have any tips to give, so that he won't notice that I'm a virgin?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell him. It's important that he knows so that he can go slow and make It more comfortable for you. If you don't tell him he might be more aggressive and as a result you won't really enjoy the experience. It's in both of yours best interests that you are honest with him. he's not going to be turned off, if anything he'll feel special that he's your first.

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    • but what if he's really really experienced with sex? i know that being a virgin is a turnoff to many guys and he seems to really like it, from what he's told me so far

    • Well if a guy is just looking for a hook up, he'll prefer an experienced girl. However if he wants a serious relationship and really cares about you, he won't have any problem teaching you.

      If he won't date you because of your virginity, then he's not the type of guy you should lose your virginity to.

      Anyways, you're not going to be able to fake not being a virgin so just tell the truth.

What Guys Said 4

  • I really think you should be honest with him. Unless he's incredibly immature, it won't bother him or put unreasonable "pressure" on him knowing that it's your first time. But being your first time it should help make things go better for both of you if you're both on the same page.

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    • he's like 30, but where he comes from everyone is very liberal with sex, and they think that my culture is already too prudish. i think i'm really scared of telling him, because he might assume that i'm going to be clingy and stuff (i don't even have any long-term plans with him, i just see sparks and that's all it matters right now)

    • Yeah I get that it could be a little awkward to tell him about it, but I think there's more risk in NOT telling him.

    • have to agree... it's more riskier starting a relationship base on a lie.

  • Just tell him... no guy would be mad or look down at you about that.
    No that I put a heavy weight on virginity but I'd be flattered to know you chose me to "give it" to

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    • would it help more if he knew that there were other guys competing for my attention? he was really insecure about the other guys for a while although i was always only interested in him. so maybe he won't judge me for being a virgin?

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    • haha re: other guys, i kept it really quiet actually. but somehow he picked up the vibe and one day got really drunk and pestered me about whether the other guys have asked me out and stuff. i didn't give out any details and just told him that i was interested in him.

    • That's just his insecurity playing out... don't read too much into it
      Either I think you should tell him... you'll want him to be careful when you're having sex for the first couple of times so he doesn't hurt you too badly. Because even if you practice with masturbation it's still not the same

  • Tell him. If he's the right one, it won't matter to him that you are - he won't hold it against you or anything, if anything he'll be flattered. He'll want you to enjoy your first experience, and that will take consideration on his part.

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  • Why you want to cover it, if he knowsknows that he will be more happy because he think I am the first one she slowed

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    • i could see myself telling him later on in the relationship, but i really think that a 25-year-old telling him that i'm a virgin is a lot of pressure. i just want to enjoy my time with him!

What Girls Said 3

  • Ok. It's going to be kind of obvious when he enters. You will most likely be tight and it will be quite painful. He will probably figure it out. It does not bode well for you to be dishonest with him. If you like him then the last thing you want to be is deceitful. You need to tell him the truth.

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    • can i check by myself (without buying a vibrator) whether i'm tight?

    • Virgins are naturally tight. So if you have never even had a vibrator in there, then you are tight and it will be obvious to him. Sorry.

  • hmm YOu'll have to break it to him or shove a vib to widen your hole. Gonna be painful.

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    • Fingers, maybe? I don't own a vib and buying it now would be weird lol

  • Wouldn't it be better to start a relationship base on honesty? If he leaves you because of your virginity then it would mean he was never worth your time.

    If you know you're going to bleed then you might not be able to hide the pain because according to an older female cousin yes it does hurt for many girls.

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