Is there a downside to dating a damsel in distress?

Has anyone ever dated one? If so, how did it go? If not, would you date them?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A damsel in distress as you call her is a girl who is in need of saving and protection. She's fragile and to be her hero, her protector, guide and ultimately her provider would make you feel masculine. It's the most natural response in guys.
    Women often play up their weaknesses because they know how much men eat that stuff up. It's all about how each gender evolved and their roles in the species.

    A downside to dating a fragile, dependant woman could be that she's a liar who wants to use you (not fragile at all), or that she's a parasite who is insane (clingy, obsessive, lazy and selfish).

    You can run into a cute girl who is normal and satisfies this need masculinity puts into guys, but they are rare. Most girls today are into feminism and play the tough, independent woman.

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    • Are any of them not insane?

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    • @Babaorom1 I had no idea that's how you define a damsel in distress. =/
      Also fragile girls often naturally attract help whether they like to or not. Accepting it does not make one a user. Expecting it and putting yourself in situations where others will be more likely to rush in and help you, does.

    • We agree then :)

What Girls Said 25

  • They will drain your savings.

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  • DON'T.
    If she can't take care of herself, how on earth will she take care of a relationship? You need a teammate, a partner, not a child.

    Eventually, she'll mature and start dealing with her problems without asking for drama. Until then, she thinks you're the solution to every problem she has. If you're okay with that, sure, but later on she might create more drama when she realizes that you can't solve every life problem for her.

    Damsels in distress are appealing to some men because they know how to make them feel needed. But it doesn't work on the long run.

    Find a woman who can stand up to herself, deal with her problems, and ask for help when she feels it's needed. This one will also be strong enough to help YOU if the situation arises.

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  • My friend is one of those and oh dear Lord to I pray for whatever man she ends up with because she's going to drive him insane. She drives ME insane. Has to ask my opinion on everything, tries MAYBE 25% of an attempt before giving up and then asks me to do it, and dives head first into a oh-my-gosh-my-life-is-over-this-is-the-worst-fuck-my=life rant every time something goes wrong. Everything is a disaster and a soap opera.

    I know I shouldn't encourage this behavior with her... but we live together. If I don't solve the problem for her, it's going to become a real problem for me. Ex. She can't open the peanut butter jar. If I don't open it then we're not going to eat pb&js :p If I don't fix the tv... no tv for me.

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  • A couple of my guy friends did, the cons of dating one:
    -she becomes dependent on you
    -high CHANCE of her becoming lazy/clingy
    -expects you to do everything and pay the bills

    ^That is just the experience of my guy friends, NOTHING more.

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    • I don't know why but I feel kinda attracted to damsels, can't explain.

  • I think judging on the case.. If she's a girl that loves confusion, drama and she finds herself in situations all the time.. then that's a pain in the ass, or if it's some one with a case of hard luck then it's different cause the gratitude that's being shown is different, and if she's sweet it makes it worth keeping the relationship and she'll have a way of showing her appreciation I think. All I do know is if she's constantly creating issues she'll become more drama then the relationship is worth...

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    • I think she has hare luck.

    • *hard

    • Well falling on hard luck has it ways of humbling a person. And what ever efforts goes into making her situation better I'm sure it'll be worth your while. Don't look at it in expecting something back but being there for someone in need and being able to step up to the plate when someone need you and you can help has it own rewards... Also I know for sure that the night in shinning armor almost always get the girl ;)

  • It depends on the guy. I never want to be the damsel in distress only because I don't feel it's fair for the guy to be the sole provider. In today's time, unless you're from a country where women don't have many rights to a decent education and career opportunities, you'll never have to encounter a damsel in distress. It's a lot on a man, especially if he's young to be the protector and provider. Not only that, but you'll enjoy a woman more if she can be driven and goal orientated, but still allows you to be a provider and exercise your masculinity. A balance is necassary.

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  • She may be quite emotional/unstable, you can probably expect lots of drama. I'd wait till the distress is over, for her sake and yours.

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  • I've been referred to as the damsel in distress, but I'm a strong person who can look after herself so I don't know why it was said, the guy who said it was probably just trying to get to me but he said I was the one he wanted to marry so I couldn't have been that bad!
    I would say I am one now/was not so long ago and I think I do cause a lot of problems for my boyfriend now, it was probably me who made him become depressed. I don't think it's a good idea to date a damsel in distress, it'll take a lot of effort that most aren't interested in.

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    • That's what all damsel in distress girls say about themselves xD

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    • The guy who called you that wasn't man enough to take care of you.. that's why he says it. Put the blame in someone other then him. You just need the right man. You aren't a damsel in distress.

    • Aw thanks @justbe!

  • I'm not the type of person who likes "Poor me, help me, woe is me" people. They tend to be co-dependent, needy, lazy, and self-centered. If she has depression that's one thing, but if she simply is the type to expect people to take care of her, then she's likely not worth the time.

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  • You could just have a baby if you feel like being a dad.

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  • Some people are simply broken...

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  • Oh my gosh I hate girls like that, it's annoying. Everyone genuinely struggles now and then but then there's a whole other level.

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  • she's weak, can't take of herself.. ?

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  • Beware, if a girl is overly needy she'll drain you of your sanity.

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  • Damsels in distress are fakers

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  • Um well. The fact that she's a damsel in distress is a downside in itself.

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  • If she's always in distress then you got a train wreck on your hands.

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  • The dainty type?
    If i am the guy, i would not like it

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  • yes sometimes it is. You can get very stressed too.

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  • I would think that after a while it would start to drain you.

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  • Yes... you always have to save her. It gets boring doesn't it?

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  • Shiat I'm more than a damsel in distress

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  • Yes there is a downside. She is in distress. When it starts with drama it usually ends with drama. Why try to be cptn save a hoe. I've tried to be the one who fixes people, getting with guys in distress big mistake. Its better to find someone who is stable and on your level or higher

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  • Yes I did. It was great until I realized how needy and poor me she was, I'm all for helping out but when someone calls me at 2 in the morning crying about how cruel like is I'm like ok to much, a damsel is distress is not all bad but so me some of them will always be in distres

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  • They're total pain in ass!!

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    • Really?

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    • I like her though, shouldn't I try?

    • Try it if you want to, it never hurts to try. Go on and do it!

What Guys Said 26

  • The usual outcomes are:

    1) You'll be her hero, her savior, and she'll be forever grateful and be willing to do just about anything for you. You'll develop a strong bond and she'll make sure she never ends up in a hole again where she needs saving.

    2) She'll think she loves you because you rescued her but one day she'll realize she fell in love with the hero, not you. Because she was in a bad place, she was willing to date whoever got her out of it, but now that she's been saved, you're not what she wanted.

    3) She'll be with you, but she'll remain totally dependent on you. She'll continue to expect you to save her from all her troubles, whether it be bills, family situations, issues with friends or work. Eventually you'll get fed up and expect her to handle at least some things on her own. She'll either have to change, or you'll break up.

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  • Yes. You have to sing those sappy songs, dance around like a fool and wear Royal Prince costumes. Also, Disney will market your likeness and put you on everything from lunchboxes to children's underwear.

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  • I once dated a girl who was on meth, and I didn't know it. She was a grand master at the hot/cold routine (looking back), and probably just liked me because I would actually listen to her problems, unlike the rest of her harem. She told me that she had been molested as a child, and that that was the reason she was so emotionally messed up. Her an I saw each other for a few months, before I finally got a real gf. Now, years later, I befriended her little sister who confirmed that my ex had indeed been on meth, was never abused as a child, and was just a really, really terrible person at the end of the day.

    I really wanted to help her "learn to love again", is the sad thing.

    A damsel in distress, who is not all fucked up, will want to be helped. Sometimes people just want to have a bad time in life, and need to manipulate others to feel good - and those are the damsels you want to avoid.

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  • I've been the white knight too many times to count. I have trouble saying no when a girl asks me for help and sometimes they latch on for more.

    It's not a good thing though. They chose me and I just went along with it. There wasn't really any spark on my end aside from the idea that a girl liked me and wanted me. That's compelling, but it's not enough to build a relationship on. I do better when I have to chase em a bit.

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  • Over the long term you may get drained and feel like you have a daughter. It's not a good feeling.

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  • You want to be a boyfriend or do you want to be a support worker?

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  • Dude yeah drama.

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  • I dated a girl like that one year. She only liked me because I helped her when she tripped on the staircase.
    She was clingy and always wanted me around her. She was the jealous type of girl who didn't like other girls talking to me.
    It is not easy to be in a relationship like that. It can put strain on the guy to put food on the table.
    Sometimes it can't be helped, like if she came down with an illness to where she can't work anymore or if she decided to stay home to be with the kids.

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  • She will need you for everything if your not willing to be there for everything then it won't work you need to be 100 percent committed else the relationship will fail it can be very strenuous. But it's worth it completely pulling from my own experiences they were some of the best relationships I've had

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  • I dated one once (with dated i mean: Had a crush on a girl, asked if she liked me the same way, she did not, i moved on after 3 months where we had text almost everyday, i find another one, she get's pissed that i like another one, after a couple of days she falls in love with the bad guy). It is horrible. Usually she can't take care of herself and calls the guys for help instead of the five girls that stands by her side.

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  • it beats Dating someone in that dress LOL get Distress That Dress LOL, I am sooooo funny, well good luck in figuring this one out fella

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  • If you're referring to "crazy chicks" there's only a down side if you want a relationship. If that's the case have a lawyer on retainer for the restraining order.
    It'll be the best sex of your life before she becomes a stalker though.

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  • Nothing wrong helping a girl in need, I've done that. What i wouldn't do is date someone in that situation. I'm not fond of drama. Dating someone who would be relying on you to save them would be a world of drama. I prefer a woman who is capable and confident. My wife and i each have different strengths and we're there for each other when times are dark. I wanted a woman who was more than capable of having my back.

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  • A big ol simple yes. there's a downside to everything.

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  • I dated one. You may go insane. If there are people after her, your life is in danger. If she is sweet, that is a different story. If it seems like she makes everyone seem like a bad guy but says it's not their fault... I'm sorry sir but you fell for a crazy that will ruin future relationship in retaliation to breaking up with them improperly. I know. I dated one.

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  • Only if the "distress" is all too common. It is of course easier to find one that is a magnet for trouble. There is also a little test you can do and that is to watch how much help is needed before she pulls herself out. In some cases no amount of help will work because she is holding herself there.

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  • Yes! for some strange reason some women like to be in distress,, I knew a girl who had a boyfriend that beat her up all the time. when she broke up with him to go out with me, she said I didn't like her because I didn't hit her.

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  • Yes she is going to feel really afraid. she also may be wanting to get as much attention from as many guys as possible.

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  • I would hate to date someone who was a damsel in distress and needing me to save them whenever the time came.

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  • I have. It was a nightmare. Save yourself the misery and find someone well adjusted.

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  • Getting sucked into her drama... It's like a spiral to insanity. Be a friend not a lover.

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  • Yes, it's like stepping on broken glass. Let Repunzel save herself.

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  • Well my friend is marrying one and she sucks. Always some drama bullshit going on, so he'll no

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  • Yes they only want your affection and assurance they are still wanted. They don't want sex.

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  • They might not be in it for you... just the way you're treating them. If they're always avoiding you when you want to go out, but comes to you when she needs something... she's a gold digger and using you

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  • She'll drain your bank account

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