Men who are successful with women contradict the "be yourself" advice given by many women and some men?

This could be a "my take" but I really don't want to find a pic. In summary: some guys get tons of women ( and it's not only looks) and some men never get any girl ever... Ever. So logically, aiming to emulate what those successful men do will boost the chances for the unsuccessful guy. But this comes with changing yourself. So those who don't get women can't be themselves... they need to change in varying degrees to attract their girl. Any thoughts or comments on this?

Would really like a take from a girl on this one?
@starsite sorry, you right the "bullshit" comment was very short, snappy and hostile. This question wasn't aimed at you, it was posted before your opinion. Still no reason to say what I said without an explanation in context. Sorry again.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree that sometimes you do have to change yourself, and it's kind of silly when people say you shouldn't. It's good to learn to be more patient or find an interesting hobby or practice being charismatic, or whatever. So "be yourself" isn't good advice on its own. But I think the point of saying that is to remind people not to put up a fake personality, or try to change too much.

    So self-improvement is good, but you should still be true to yourself. Don't do something you hate just because you think it'll get girls, you know? That's the main point.

    • You pretty on the money there but what attracts girls is often what some guys hate. They have to fully change themselves. For example.. some women do love bad boys. So an introvert would have to join a drug gang (extreme example but does happen)... or even more common... guys go on steroids to be all big and cut. And it works. See it often.

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    • Lol... Got ya;) got to fake it at least for one night stands. Tbh though I've never been in a situation where a o. n. s could occur, at my age now I wouldn't even know where to begin and she would see through me. Even drunk girls don't go for me. Been around plenty of those. So a sex worker (love Australia for their sex worker regulations) is a much better option for guys like me. But yeah your opinion on the divorce rate is pretty much spot on.

    • Thanks for MHO. :)


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What Girls Said 3

  • Some qualities are just more attractive to certain types of people. Maybe you don't need to necessarily change yourself so much as hone. Are you socially aware? Do you have interests to share and talk about? Are you able to carry a conversation about basic topics? Cultivate yourself! You have to like yourself before someone else can!

    • I have 2 degrees, 3 diplomas, a musician and am a relationship manager. I do gym and boxing training, 5 days on, 2 days off. I once had a great sense of humour and was told often to be a comedian. That kinda died a while ago, I'm average funny now. I travel often and love new places. I really dont watch much TV! This site is probably the only place where I waste my time;) it doesn't matter though, a guy can be whatever but if he doesn't know how to attract, he will always be friendship zoned. Got tons of female friends and colleagues.

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    • Welp, I guess you're right. Totes undateable. Give up hope all ye who enter here. Maybe you're too busy with you to make time for a gf. I don't know dude. I don't know your life story or personality apart from a general "why don't girls like me question" where you disagreed with everyone until they agreed with you. General advice for a general situation.

    • Very perceptive comeback, I admire that. You are on the money. i am very busy I will admit... but I feel that if I am not, I'm worthless. Things like money and talent takes work and those things attract women. But the catch 22 is that yeah,... it's a dead end if I don't have time for a gf. But... im about to just give another curveball... never mind. But you read me like a book on this last comment. Well done;)

  • Apparently this question was asked to prove my reply was "complete bullshit". A guy posted a question in which he asked how he could pretend to look rich to make himself more attractive. My reply was this:

    "You would do better to work on your confidence and social skills than to pretend to be something you are not. By pretending to be something you are not is insulting, to not only yourself but the women you meet."

    Scrambled (asker) There's no need for you to be rude by commenting that my reply is 'complete bullshit', nor did you have to post this question to try and prove me wrong. Instead of asking me a question you felt the need to be unnecessarly rude and hostile. I simply posted a reply and if you disagree that's fine but no need to be rude.

  • i kind of agree in a sense.

    • Thanks... so be easy on some us poor guys when we join pick up artists groups or similar things:)

What Guys Said 4

  • You're dead on. You can't be yourself if yourself isn't appealing to women. "Just be yourself" is the worst dating advice ever created.

    • Thanks man;) I'm trying to articulate these dilemmas of late.

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    • Just to clarify, you don't have to outright fake, but if you tell me you didn't try flaunt something about yourself (a tad exaggeration) then I call bullshit. Unless you good looking;$

    • Call bullshit then, I never flaunt anything. Being strategic but truthfully it possible you know and no I am not good looking, I'll say about average but of course I take good care of myself.

  • I find the arrogant, egotistical and narcissistic men are more 'successful' with the ladies which I find extremely risible and ironic.

    • Truth. It's because those type if guys have a delusional confidence. But a delusional confidence is still confidence and confidence brings the girls in.

  • The common advice to just be yourself is just another example of why your should pay attention to what women do rather than what they say. They are often very different things with women.

    Good points bro.

  • I agree. If "being yourself" isn't working, try something else or accept being alone...

    • But the ladies will say otherwise. I'm waiting for their answer to this.

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    • Well I'm getting somewhere, at least I'm dating girls regularly now.

    • Cool man... hope you have an awesome love life.