Do some people never find someone?

I am 26 and have just started wondering that since I have always been the single friend and the few guys I did like, didn't want me back.. is it a sign that I may never find someone? I mean you know how people keep hoping things will change, I have started looking at it from the other side... who says anything will change? I am not fat, i am actually thin and beautiful and funny and kind. But there is something wrong with me of course, which never makes me "the one" for guys. they will never choose me. Do you guys have any experiences to share or know any stories of girls who are always the 'bridesmaids but never the bride'? Or guys for that matter who miraculously after rejections get an awesomely suited person? My friends suggest I will most likely settle when I'm 30. I can see myself doing it now too tbh but yea.. I'd like to be alone for a while if I have to settle anyway


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am thirty five and in your position. You are correct, there is something wrong with you, but it is in your heart. I do not believe it is vulnerable enough. Getting bitter over not having someone to love is going to put up a wall around your heart that will forever repel guys.

    I have the same problem, and while I attract some females, it is usually for the wrong reasons so I must decline their advances.

    You should not focus on being alone, rather, you should be doing some deep introspection into your very heart, soul, and mind, and doing "Spiritual surgery", or at least, seeking and allowing God to do so. I fully realize the reason I am still alone is because I have not yet been fully prepared, or am ready to give all of who I am, my entire life to a woman, to care for her, love her, be there for her, be her lover, her best friend, cherishing her above all else in this twisted, empty world.

    Lose the bitterness and work on yourself. Not your outward looks which are good for attracting all the wrong guys, but your inward heart! The masculine desires the feminine, and a bitter, angry, hurt woman is about as feminine as a rhinoceros.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I'm in the same boat. I seriously believe something is wrong with me. Whenever I compare myself to my friends it seems like they have it easy.. Most of the things I have accomplished so far I had to work hard and struggle.. And I see my friends laughing at how easy they got their jobs, gf, etc. I asked a few of my friends in relationship and all of them told me they didn't have to do much, their girlfriend initiated contact most of the time and kissed them and they have been together ever since. Only girlfriend I had.. I did pretty much everything for it to happen and it didn't last long anyway. I've always thought I'd meet the one one day.. Thought I did a few months ago and yet here I am.. Alone "no feelings" for me she said.. Didn't feel like it when we were together. So yeah I definitely feel like I'll be alone forever.. When you can't seem to meet someone that wants to be with you for years.. It's hard to think otherwise.

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    • you sound exactly like me. Be honest. are you good looking? succesful? charming? You can ask me qustions too as I have exactly the same situation.

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    • Damn! you have it all. And just like me, I am great on paper:I'm pretty, classy, stylish, a PhD and extremely well put together. Maybe thats why we don't find someone? People don't need to complete us but to complement us. Maybe we don't find such people and subconsciously see through it? too deep right? Since all kinds of people find someone and we somehow feel forgotten by the Universe :P. And yeh I have friends who are couples. Most of them are independent though and don't stick to each other so its fine. But I do need to spend time with my single friends as well of course. We should definitely PM, maybe we can help each other realise what isn't working ;)

    • Lucky you! Wish some of my friends were as independent! Gets annoying when they always have to do everything together. I agree with you, I don't need someone to complete me but having someone to share your life with would be most welcome. I'm not sure if it's something we project that seems to push people away? Were you very independent younger? I did most of my stuff alone.. Never waited for someone to be with me. If they declined my invitation I'd still go and do whatever I had planned. Maybe I'm/we are projecting too much of that without realising it? And that turns people away.. Food for thoughts :) Love the "forgotten by the universe" :p I often have that thought ! PM offer still stands.. I would do it but kinda hard with you being anonymous ;)

  • BBgurl if you were next to me I'd put U and I together!
    Okay that probably made you think I was more of a creeper but in all seriousness-
    Yes! There is someone for everyone. Honestly though I think girls have it a lot harder than guys. It seems our society is steered towards having the guy ask you out. I think for girls like you who are waiting should break out of this concept and start asking guys out. What's the harm? If they say no you'll never have to see them again. Dating at this stage is just getting to know each other and isn't serious.
    My "bestie" had a little sister she wanted me to talk to because she had low self esteem. When I talked to her she was sad because she was 16 and no boy would ask her out on a date which she thinks is just because she didn't want to give up her V card. She's in college and a beautiful young lady. No doubt she'll find someone.
    Or look at my high school English instructor. He was single and in his 40s. Eventually found a SO and they have a baby.

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  • I believe that at some point in our lives we all meet THE ONE. What we do with it is the variable. We're capable of falling in love with others too

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    • Or what they do with it

  • some people die alone in this world.

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  • Just one question : Have you been considered as " smart " by people you know or when you were still in high school?

    Smart people have it so much harder to find a suitable significant other due to many things.
    I'm bringing this up because you've said " but there is something wrong with me ". Perhaps that "something" is your intelligence.

    I'm just guessing though.

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    • Well I am a PhD but I'm a goof at the same time. I was an average student in school and quite ugly. I became really beautiful later on. I never flaunt my intelligence and I have good social skills, I don't mind a silly joke at times and the guys I've met were smart and nice but they would never commit to me. I just don't cut it for them, don't know how other girls manage to.

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    • And why doesn't a guy want an intelligent girl?

    • That's very easy to explain.

      1. Intelligent people are usually very socially apt and know themselves very well and can reflect on their being different and hence will look for other smart people. This combination will work out and these relationships will last for a long time

      2. Less intelligent guys are especially intimidated by more intelligent women since guys generally want to be superior to their girlfriend / wife - it is the same with something as simple as height : The man will always prefer the shorter or "inferior" woman respectively. Feel free to ask me more.

  • I chose to remain singld basically. I will keep my freedom LOL

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  • Yeah I know people who even relied on Jesus and prayed everyday for a wife but he is 50 and still is single.

    But Gods ways are different from our ways. Glory be to the Lord.

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  • Im choosing to remain single unless I meet somebody real special.

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  • I'm 25 and I'm always rejected too and I believe it is very possible that I will go through life being single and it's not really that much of a daunting prospect for me, I am determined to make the most of life, irrespective of what it throws at me.

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    • I think guys are better at handling it since their success also depends on how well they do in life. For women its important to find a man. But yeh, I don't want someone because of how others will view me, I don't care about what people think.. people always have something to say. But I can't really handle it anymore. I don't get rejected but if a guy isn't willing to commit then it does basically mean he doesn't like you enough.. which means you're not good enough.. so basically being rejected.

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    • I actually hear the opposite case is my problem. I don't want to have sex unless the guy shows some form of commitment. Why should I give everything if he isn't? Guys can get sex anywhere so they move on. I dont even explicitly say it, I just say I want to take things slowly and I really do. I can't get comfortable with a guy like that unless some trust and security is built. Some people say I have to loosen up, but I know enough people who found someone with the same principles as me and i know enough people who found someone even though they slept with him straight away. Its also luck or other qualities they have..

    • I'm much like you and my friends have said the same things to me that I should sleep around etc, but that's not me, that's not what I want and that's not in my opinion the right way for someone to behave and I won't succumb to such heathenism.

      It sounds to me you are just meeting the wrong guys, it's sounds like you're going some bad luck.

  • I imagine so. I'm on that road right now. Life can be a cruel bitch.

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  • I have no expectations that'll I'll find anyone

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  • I think that some people are just ment to be alone

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  • True anything is hard to find never mind love of your life

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  • Yes, it's often the case that some people never find anyone.

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    • Do you think I could predict that for myself... given my situation?

    • No. No one can predict the future.

What Girls Said 3

  • You will most likely settle when you are 30?
    Why is 30 always the magical age?
    Usually people start feeling this way now (in their mid to late 20s).
    So, I can see why you feel this way now.
    Do you want kids?
    Because when you knock 30 you only have 4 years left before you can have children (without an increased rate of mental dysfunctions).

    I think you should start moving your life forward.
    If men aren't coming to you.
    You have to come to them.
    Sometimes we have to go after what we want.
    Put yourself in more social settings.
    Even if you're doing something very casual (like buying coffee), greet the cashier (if he is a male) make
    small talk.
    You have to be more (out there) friendly towards other people for them to notice you.
    Looks alone sometimes isn't enough to pull you through.

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  • honestly, you might be looking for "the one" when the one in your head doesn't match up to your actual Mr. Right. don't lower your standards, but relax your expectations some, he will find you, or you him, when you are open to the actual man, and not some fantasy man

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  • me myself

    fill

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