What do you not like to see in a profile on a dating site?

Certainly, you've at least whispered under your breath "I can't believe he said that... He posted that pic." Here's your chance to vent your frustrations. Go ahead. Tell guys where they're going wrong before they even get started.

Updates:
@inomorata,
"Please fuck me" PMs are weakness manifested.
If I meet your standards, you'll be the one texting that.
The definition of a slut is a woman that lowers expectation hoping the man will meet those expectations... someday.
There's nothing wrong with getting some. Sex just to have sex is gratifying but go into it without expectation for more.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's whenever they write down that they are respectful and then whenever you contact them, they instantly ask to have a hookup before they even ask you your name. This was always my pet peeve before I met my boyfriend, which was not from an online dating site. What are some of you, men or hogs?

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    • How about just horny humans? Testosterone is a major turn on chemical.

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    • Apparently the problem at the heart of the matter is men that think dating is about two people about to have sex. That seems to be causing all the other problems and all the unreasonable qualifiers women put on their profiles.
      Both sides are losing out on the good ones because of the guys that ruin the chance that it could be as great as the original idea.
      The good guys, especially the ones brave enough to post on this thread, can't get through all the hoops to show you what great guys they are. The girls quit trying after the 99th horny toad turns out to be anything but a prince.
      I know online dating is carnage but I found two dates in less than a month and one lasted 6 months so it CAN happen but not without an understanding that first comes from understanding the barriers that prejudice our selection process against those wonderful dates we will never meet because of it.
      Ok. Maybe that was meant for a My Take but sometimes I just start writing and can't stop.

    • That's perfectly fine and I under completely. Just after the one guy who was trying to take possession of me, I had no interest in online dating.
      After I quit with the online dating, I met my boyfriend through friends and we have been dating for seven months and I could be no more happy than I am. I believe it just really depends.

What Girls Said 29

  • When it says under interests "dunno lol" and on the dating profile in the book catergory it says "don't read"... So unispiring. Also the use of winky faces anymore cheapen the whole profile and cheesy picture captions. Honesty is what I want to see on a dating profile, be detailed and imaginitive, stand out, take note of what others talk about on their descriptions. If you want a casual relationship - state it, if you are looking for someone to care for and settle down with - say it. Don't lie about anything because you want a potential match to be interested in the real you, not the fake and over exaggerated version of you - what's the point! They'd find out the truth sooner or later anyway. Also get someone else to take a good full or mid length picture to use as your main photo because after all, that is what will give off a first impression.

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    • Good opinion

    • Yea, I can't stand the lazy profiles with no substance. It's not that hard to make a decent one. I think that tells you what an awkward date they would make. I found that to be equal to their attractiveness. The more attractive, the less the effort.

  • Guy jumping right into sex or anything sexual that's a great way to scare off women. A guy saying he doesn't want to date somebody who looks a certain way. It really depends on the female and what they like and dislike. Pics of you with friends and doing stuff is good I would stay away from the top less pics even if you look great top less.

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    • I always avoid posting pics with other people in them because it is kind of rude to do so without their knowledge.

  • Being honest is so important. Dont pretend to be someone you're not for some girl with a cute pic to talk to you. You dont want to have to admit to being someone else later.

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    • Yes I agree but be honest about things that matter.
      That's really what I'm probing here and maybe should rephrase the question, as in; what matters?
      Guys might be honest about their endowment but that's creepy material for an introduction.

  • When their username is too sexual, or in the "about me" part of their profile they talk about what they like to do sexually, it seems desperate to me.

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  • I am only bothered by assholes who ask for a hookup and when I say no, they ask why, or ask again.
    It's absolutely annoying and ridiculous.

    What do they think, I need to go online to get laid?

    I have a vagina for heaven's sake if I wanted to fuck someone, I'd be fucking someone. I don't need you to come to my profile and offer it to me. If I'm not asking first, presume you're wasting my time and you're annoying as fuck because I already have 50 messages from the same horny type of douche in my mail box.

    Online dating sites are places women go to when they want to speed up partner searching.
    If we are there to get sex, we'd be browsing and picking the hottest guy we can get ourselves. And then sending him a message.

    In order to avoid this douchebag behavior, I explicitly stated on my profile I am not interested in casual sex. But reading that is apparently too much work. Or maybe they think their message will get me so wet it will change my mind somehow. -_-

    Besides this, worst of all would be profiles containing lies. Any sort of lying. Worst of all, taken people fucking with us single people for attention. Or assholes trying to cheat.

    I was on a dating site for a week. I had to leave because of how disappointed I was. No intention of going back. Dating people from real life is the best plan for now... =/

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    • Hmm you probably didn't mean it, but reading your post make it sound like you're someone who has casual sex because a guy is good looking. Feels kind of demoralising (I haven't used dating services, and am pretty confident that if you were looking for hot guys, i'd be on your list, but that's not the point).

      I'm not sure about you, but I do have ideals and dreams about how great a relationship can be. It would take effort and hard work. But I always would like to start with as clean a slate as we can have.

      Subconsciously, hearing girls talk about how they would just go screw around until they decide to 'settle' down just feels so unfair to the guys who don't do it.

      It's true that I won't ever click well with a girl like that, but somehow, it seems more and more girls are behaving this way... and I'm starting to lose hope that there would be any girls willing to keep things pure til I find them.

      I know when a guy says crap, it also affects girls like you, am I right?

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    • I know you probably think you sound very intelligent with what you said, however you really didn't. The fact of the matter is that brain sex ('gender based brain differences') does not exist, it's a myth. Any scientific studies so far that have attempted to prove brain sex exists are not actual scientific studies. This is because they do not use the scientific method, and 'scientists' in these fields jump to conclusions based on what they would like to be true, not what is scientifically accurate. As far as science currently indicates, there's no differences between the brains of men and women. Any percieved differences we think exist are merely the result of learned behaviours imposed on us by society. This is where the brain plasticity theory comes into play. It's been observed for example that a baby boy under a year old will not discriminate between a toy barbie or a toy truck. It's only through their parents continualy giving them the truck that they develop a preference for it.

    • Somy analogy is perfectly valid thank you very much. Unless you believe it's more acceptable to discriminate against someone based on their sex than it is their ethnicity. Is that what you think?

  • I hate when guy's just pose a picture of their abs in a really crappy selfie. Like, ok cool nice body but the fact that your using your body to attract women instead of your overall personality and profile to me says your a jerk whose probably just out to find the hottest girl, not a relationship

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  • When the guy has his abs as his profile picture, like yea you have a good bod but I wanna see your face!

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  • The whole litany of what they DON'T want. "Do not respond if you are X, Y, Z...". I also dislike that every. Single. Guy. Claims to " work out" seven days a week. Bull. Some do, but not every one. . At that point I have " nexted" and move on.

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  • it's a red flag when a guy doesn't have really any pictures of his face because you're thinking why doesn't he have like a single selfie or pic where you can see him... also I hate when their profile picture is something stupid or them doing something ridiculous while drunk. it's not cool it makes them seem immature.

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    • I say if they have no face pic and background sanitized it's a married guy or a fugitive. . ha, ha... either way that's trouble of some kind.

  • A dick pic would be bad. If you have a cat or dog take a cute picture with your pet, I've never used online dating but my mom has and she always takes time to actually read profiles where the guy has a pet in his picture.

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  • I can't stand someone not taking the time to write at least one paragraph of a profile. One, creative, grammatically correct and properly punctuated paragraph.

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    • I think that's a sign that an in person conversation would be awkward. If they can't write a coherent paragraph about themselves, having unlimited time to do so, what kind of torture would a date be or for that matter, a simple email conversation.

  • Lmao I am quite bothered when I see the words "no black chicks" unfortunately

    I understand everyone has their own preferences but ouch. Kick me before I try.

    And when I see them holding up fish or some other dead animal.

    I don't like seeing dead deer. Makes me sad.

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    • Anyone that would exclude your beauty based on race is an idiot, not worthy your presence.
      I think that wraps it up

  • Men who expect their woman to be into fitness Or they say they are a partier. Also, I hate when people are on there for everything but a relationship.

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  • For their profile I hate when they sound overly egotistic. Sounding more humble is more comforting to me anyways.

    What I really hate though is when they don't take the time to read your profile and contact you anyways. I tried it out a few years ago and just deleted it cause I either got old guys or guys that clearly never read the profile.

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    • That's interesting about what you think "old" is. I always searched 35-50 but never put it in my profile that I wouldn't consider a certain age. I just figured that would take care of itself. If somebody contacted me I figured they had already seen my age and were interested in what I said in my profile.
      How did you end up being contacted by men that were clearly too old for you? Did you put an age limit in your profile and they didn't read it?

    • yeah I had age preference in my profile that I think was "21-33" and I had men contacting me that were old enough to be my dad. They never bothered to really read anything. Sorry if I offended you with my opinion of old too. It's mainly think of it as people not in my age bracket or were almost adults when I was still in elementary school.

    • No. Not offended at all but thank you for thinking of my feelings. That's a fine character trait.
      I was really just curious how you think about it and what affected that.
      Thank you for responding so honestly.

  • When they express sexism / racism on questions that don't necessarily need a biased opinion.

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  • sexual innuendos makes me think he's just looking for friends with benefits

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    • Yes, there are vulgar phrases and I would say men utter the majority of them but that creates a built in prejudice no matter how it's worded.
      There are obvious phrases but innuendo is vague so that interpretation of something as innocent as a compliment can become a lawsuit.
      This makes it really difficult to convey emotion in a format that can't show body language and inflection of the voice.

  • I do not like to see. "I lie to my partners about my sexual history". I also dislike guys who use pictures of their abs instead of their face in a profile pic.

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  • Lying about their career, and sweet talking hoping to get laid on the "date."

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    • That's awful. How bad was it? Like saying they were the boss, an airline pilot, an astronaut, something like that?

    • Pretty bad like being a lawyer to only find out they're still a student, and is actually a waiter. Being a student still doesn't count yet.

    • When I was training to be a physique competitor I used the title of "physique competitor" a few times but I wasn't yet. I realized that it prevented me from talking about the struggle to become one, which is really more common ground and who I was.
      Those guys really missed an opportunity.

  • A pic of him passed out. Saying he likes sex too much.

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  • his dick maybe

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  • Pics of them with there ex, or exs

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  • they are hungry for sex. -_- sucha turn off.

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  • ... a beard!
    No, thanks!

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  • Shirtless profile pics. Bar none the worst.

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  • A big list of Don'ts.

    Don't message me if this, don't bother if that etc although that is usually women who do that but it's still annoying and makes you come off as a demanding and high maintenance person.

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  • Because of the mass amount of messages women usually receive the whole online dating thing is pretty cut throat. Here's what personally made me disregard a guy before even talking to him:

    - No shirt, gym or flexing pics.
    - Lines or statements like "nice guy always being overlooked" "Where are all the honest woman at?" "No game players or time wasters" etc on their profiles
    - Mass demands on what they want in a partner when they clearly don't have their stuff together
    As for messages: it goes to way a simple "hi" is boring and chances are i've received 20 of those that very day on the other hand cut and pasted messages are obvious and makes me think the man is just playing a numbers game.

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    • I found some of the same things your talking about on women's profiles but I feel the majority of profiles I saw were software generated fakes by the website to make the members think they were getting hits on their profile.
      It's easy to get pictures and generate what amounts to ad copy profiles with common themes. I also got "responses" to messages that had nothing in them related to what I had written or asked to generate a conversation.

  • I don't like to see lies!

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  • When they act dumber by day.

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  • Lots of group pics unless they are your kids. I wanna see you not your buddies. Bad grammar, little to no information at all or not filing out certain parts of the profile, and 5 paragraphs of information because sometimes less is more.

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    • The profiles that had texting acronyms with little information to go by too! I was looking at 30 and older and came across the same thing your describing but with too little information to make any attempt at an introduction with something in common. What do I say? "Hey, I like to text too."
      It all started with the development of spellchecker software. The downfall of civilization will someday be traced back to that point in time.

    • GIRLS are really bad about the group pic thing. Sometimes it is hard to tell who the profile is for.

    • @zagor I see this a lot on Tinder

What Guys Said 26

  • Some of the things that I liked when I was searching through profiles was a woman who accomplished things... they did not have to be big things, but just things she was proud of. It shows confidence. I think anyone that shows some confidence and is goal-oriented was someone worth talking to, and is a total turn on.

    In addition, the person was able to string a few words together to make a sentence. After all a profile is predominantly writing, so if you decide to put something online, get your friend or someone else to read and edit it. Lots of profiles out there are disorganized and don't make sense at all. Take the time and do it right!

    Recommendation to the guys... avoid the shirtless pictures. If you use these to show off your best assets, then you are likely to be a very lonely person. Woman expect more than some abs. That should be the bonus for her on top of the respectful charming personality!

    Recommendation to girls... avoid shirtless guys... just kidding! In essence... don't be a snob. If you are getting into the online dating with the attitude that I am perfect that I expect a high calibre perfect man... you may be spending your time at home alone a lot. Besides there is few of us out there! In addition, if you don't allow yourself to be available to meet guys then you may miss someone who is not necessarily perfect, but would treat you like the queen you are.

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  • Biggest problem I have is people not writting enough and having shitty photos. I mean looks are not everything but here is a good example. So this one girl had 5 photos that is a lot but in all of them she was with the same friend. HOW IN THE HELL DO I KNOW WHO IM TALKING TO? Also a variety of pics is good. Some inside some out some selfie some not. Some with friends. But that is not huge I mean I have almost 0 pics that are not selfies anymore. Since most the others involve exs and got deleted or family and I will not post them on a dating site. Also sex or I do drugs is a huge turn off. Its ok to have a sexuality. Its ok to like weed. but when it becomes your identity you have a problem.

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  • -Talking about how lame it is to have a dating profile yet having a profile anyway and seemly not understanding that the only people reading that are people with dating profiles - whom you basically just insulted. Asshole.

    -Lists of demands. I hate when girls say they want this and that in a guy: independent, funny, intelligent, fit, a certain age, blah blah blah. Even if I can check off everything on your list, I don't want to talk to you after reading that.

    -Either too little or too much info. Too little and I can't know what to say at all, you're pretty that's about all I know. Too much and I don't know what to say because you've basically already told me your life's story. I want to know about a few major interests and be funny/modest about it, that's about it. I want to know that we have something in common and that we click so we can meet, because messaging and IM is entirely different to hanging out with someone and having a convo. I'm going to run out of things to talk about after a while without spending time together and shared experiences, and verbal conversation flows better than textual.

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  • Women almost always show a photograph which is a number (more than 5) years old or they show a photograph wearing sunglasses (may as well wear a blindfold.
    When you meet them consequently they are unrecognisable and you have wasted a lot of time getting to the point of meeting when they are not who they say they are and sometimes you may have invited them to dinner. I think now if I met someone so misrepresented I would immediately say that they don't look like their profile and it is quite simple these days to provide an up to date picture.

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    • I met one for a date once expecting her to fudge the numbers at least five years, which doesn't bother me because father time is the grim reaper to most women but there was a big difference in weight.
      A woman's weight is really a moot point for me anyway but the pics she sent misrepresented her.
      I had to wonder then what had she written in the weeks of emails and said to me on the phone that was "fudged."
      As I found out later, there was plenty.

  • Any kind of rant about 'don't contact me if you're any of these kind of guys' with an extensive list using the word douchebag or shirtless. It's not that I don't agree, it's more that you're using the space meant to tell me about yourself to tell me how angry you are.

    Pictures of you with kids. I don't like or want kids, personal preference.

    Duck face. Macchu Picchu. Memes. Drugged tigers.

    Something I do want to see is a full length picture!

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    • LOL after looking at match. com I think the reason I don't meet many single women in real life is most of them are in Machu Picchu.

  • Duck face. Club life. The backwards bent over pose that screams "I like anal." i mean... for real. if you have a nice butt, then nice, but lets be civil on the website.

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  • I don't like seeing the age of 66. I was told by my psychologist I should set up a dating profile, I believe it's a method to promote social interaction. Anyway, I set one up, and whenever I got a notification that someone had looked at my profile, it was always an older woman above the age of 55, with five out of seven hits being women aged 66.

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  • When a girl is with other girls and you can't tell who it is

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    • To me, that seems like a test in posting a pic like you describe, as in, which one would you chose.
      "Run forest. Ruuuun!"

    • It's always the fat one, always

  • if i see MY pic in some profile i wouldn't like it... that means war..

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  • The girls measurements. Can't stand it.

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  • What I despise is when a girls says , " I have a kid and they are #1 in my life !"
    Fuck that shit. ! That is a real turn off to most confident, strong men. But I don't date women with kids, so it maybe a moot point.

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  • I saw this one woman's profile , she showed so much sarcasm
    i thought to myself oh wow :)

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  • I hate that duckface look!! Not attractive.

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  • Right now I don't want to see that she's only interested in sex because I want a realtionship

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  • Was on e harmony 4 a couple months. But I do better in the real world. Most th shilas on these sites r fake scams. All in all a pointless waste of my time.

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  • Duck lips, cleavage, and "like to have fun" "happy person" "like to laugh"
    Also people who say they're animal people yet eat meat. That just seems redundant to me.

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    • Well , people say they are animal people but animals eat other animals and humans. I never understood that.

  • Gory details about their last 5 VD clinic visits.

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  • I hate seeing when they are married, that is the worst.

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  • What ever women say to this question is a lie, per se... as women often want the exact opposite of what they say they want or don't want. Women are weird like that. LOL

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  • At this point; every and anything.

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  • No pictures of just herself, all clubbing pics holding a drink

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  • I don't look at people's profiles, but I hate any sexual image or something that brings something dirty to mind

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  • When a woman say she is perfect caring loyal amd hinest while they are in reality totally the oppesite :)

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  • - When she shows cleavage in every pic.
    - Inability to use correct punctuation and grammar.
    - When she lists partying as a personal interest (just not my thing).
    - Only having group photos.

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  • one thing I don't like to see on a dating site is my wife's profile

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  • Bragging and showing off a person is perfect.

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