How do I tell the guy I'm seeing that I'm a virgin? I know that we're getting closer and eventually the topic will come up, but I'm so nervous?

I'm 26 and he's 30. I've never slept with anyone before and I'm so nervous to tell the guy I've been seeing.

I have always been a career woman and never dated much and just haven't had the experience. I've been seeing him for a month. I'm not at all religious so I'm not waiting for that reason. I just wanted to really like a guy to do it with him. Now that it's getting to that point, how do I actually come out and say I've never had sex without it being weird or awkward or so blunt. How far in advance do I tell him?

Please help me! Everything is going great except I'm dreading having this conversation. I don't want him to think I'm weird or unusual for never having done it. I also don't want him to think that this is some huge deal in the sense that I will automatically be in love with him and forever attached. I know guys are worried when girls take sex with them for the first time as being an overly-emotional attachment. I just want to have sex with someone I like, but don't want him to think it's weird or freak out that I'm a virgin.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I imagine you're probably more freaked out about it than he would be. Ease into it, start slowly, even with sexual stuff.

    I don't know, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell him "I've never done this before", but if you make it a big deal, it's going to be a big deal, you know? If you tell him, let him know that you're ready, and that you know it's what you want.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Just tell him. There is nothing wrong with it so you have nothing to worry about. If I were the guy I work be flattered that I was her first. But I never have either so I might be biased. Either way just tell him but make it clear that you are comfortable with both yourself and him.

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  • Just tell him, and if he has a problem with it then I don't think you should be with him, let alone let him take ur v card.

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    • but what is he thinking? what do guys think if a girl says that? I'm not necessarily worried he'll up and leave , but that he will be thinking diferently of me.

    • He won't think anything negative, well he'll maybe want to kill whoever did it but he won't think any different of you. I had my gf tell me the exact same thing and it only made me love her more on an even deeper level. The only thing I can say is that he is going to try to never make you feel like ur being taken advantage of. Because I know whenever I'm having sex with me gf and she says stop, I instantly go into thinking that I'm hurting her which is never the case. But he shouldn't think anything different of you.

  • i don't think he will freak out

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  • you could just tell him that you haven't done it in a loooong time. that way he prob also won't 'go hard' but he won't have the extra pressure

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  • eventually he will want to have sex with you, therefore at some point you two will be undressing together. then all you have to do is say, in a deep seductive voice, "you know I'm a virgin, right?" then bat your eyelashes and you're good 2 go

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What Girls Said 2

  • Other than the "act" itself, have you done other things?

    Apart from that question, I can see either one of two things happening. Option 1: He'll freak out. But if he does, is that really the kind of guy you wanna be with? Or, Option 2: He'll be sweet and wonderful and understanding, and perhaps relieved that you aren't a super-slut.

    While option 2 is certainly the better of the two, if he is a jerk, better you find out before you sleep with him.

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    • No, I'm pretty inexperienced overall. So I haven't done anything.

    • I still wouldn't worry too much. I kind of agree with the guys though, wait until you're in an intimate situation and gently break the news to him. Don't make a huge deal out of it (that might scare him). But maybe he'll have fun "showing you the ropes". One good thing about someone who is inexperienced is that you'll be eager to learn and he'll hopefully be eager to teach.

  • its normal to be nervous, anxious, or dread a serious conversation. but u need to have it cuz if u guys do have sex he'll understand and be much more carefull + make it pleasurable, or he might go cuz he isn't comfortable with devirginizing chicks.

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