How many dates do you go on before having sex?

I'm getting drinks with this guy, and I'm really interested. He's 24, I'm 21 - I just don't want to have sex too soon or wait too long. Is sex on the first date always a no? And if not sex, how far is it okay to go?

Also - is going back to his apartment after drinks to "drink some wine and watch Netflix" leading him on if I decide to wait to have sex?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My personal opinion is to wait for sex till you're in a committed relationship however, that's sometimes a little hard to follow in the heat of the moment. If you give it up on the first date, you risk the chance he'll never call or bother with you again because you gave it up too soon and he got what he wanted. He may view you as slutty as well and think you're not his type of girl. If you want to know if he's a keeper, there's no problem waiting. If he really likes you, he'll wait.

    Really, it's all about what you want in the long run. Are you looking for a quick lay or are you looking for a long term relationship?

    Personally, first date, I don't expect the girl to go passed making out if she even kisses at all. Some girls have that personal rule of no kissing on the first date and I can live with it. Definitely a kiss on the second date if you're hoping for a third date. After 3-5 dates, nothing wrong with fooling around. If he's not willing to commit to a monogamous relationship, then don't give it up. He's not worth it. That's if you care about your self respect.

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    • As far as the Netlfix and wine drinking, I'd say be careful with that. Nothing wrong with going to watch a movie after a date if you really like someone, but I'd stay away from more booze. Booze equals bad judgement for both you and him. If he gets drunk, he may get pushy or accuse you of leading him on. If you get drunk, you might do something and regret in the morning.

    • Wow I couldn't have said it better. You hit the nail on the head. But I will add that going to an guys house that you really don't know is risky, because sadly we live in a dangerous world and born a men and woman need to be careful especially a woman.

    • This particular guy is someone who, even though I don't personally know him too well, was good friends with my cousin in high school and who he still is in contact with. (No, he's not loving the idea of me and his friend). So in this case it isn't really stranger danger.

What Guys Said 4

  • First of all be honest from inside of you and ask yourself, how far you want this relation to go? Are you really interested in a committed relation with him? Or you are just attracted to him and looking to get laid, what is your focus? Sexual satisfaction is that you want or you really looking for relationship, look! If you always be willing to have sex and focus more on getting laid, then guys may only take advantage of you, if you walk this path you will hardly get someone to love, everybody will see you as easy to get laid girl and you probably end up with spoiling your image and losing your dignity, sex can give you temporary sort of fun but it may cost you rest of your life in something you would never want. Many girls are not really interested in any relationship and just do it for fun, some have learned to play with many guys then atlast they hunt for innocent, naive, well to do guy to get married, i never liked such girls personally who have that unfair mentality, they can never be truly yours, they can never be honest, they can cheat at any moments, i think you should not initiate the appetite of sex in him until you really knows what do you want and if this worth to be with you, i think you shouldn't rush for sex, some guys change their mind after the enjoyment is over, if you want the enjoyment too then go for it but if you also care about being in committed relation with him then take more time and ask him to get committed, let me tell you that some guys says love nowadays is the way to have free sex and enjoyment. So think wisely and becareful, best of luck and god bless you. :)

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  • There's no silver bullet. When you're comfortable go for it.

    My girlfriend and I have been friends for 3 years, but only started dating about 5 months ago. She was ready to have sex right away (we're very close), but I asked for some time to digest and process the change in our relationship. After dating for a few months we did the dirty.

    It's a case by case. When you're both ready and on the same page (ie. birth control, condom, etc.) go for it.

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  • I'm fine with 1 date, but I'd most likely give up after 10 dates.

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    • But is having sex on the first date considered slutty? I'm actually pretty into him, so if I had sex with him once and didn't hear from him again it would suck. Should I stick to oral on the first date or is it okay to just go for it?

    • It depends on the guy. I'm not one to label a girl as such, but I know a lot of guys would.
      Don't build your relationship on sex.

  • However many it takes to get married. Approximately 75+?

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What Girls Said 2

  • i'd have sex with a dude without a date. like fwbs but i think dates are good and at least 3 b4 sex.

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  • Do it when you're ready, there's no certain time to have sex.

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