Anyone ever feel afraid of relationships?

Is it not true that I won't know unless I try?


0|0
5|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • I was with my ex wife 25 years. More then half my life. I only went on dates with 5 women before meeting my ex wife and never had someone that would be called a girlfriend. So being single at 45 took a lot to handle. The divorce was not something I wanted even a little. Then I found out she was cheating at least at the end of our relationship if not the last 2 years. So then I tried to date WAY too soon. But I learned a ton and I did learn something from every date I went on. But I was a bit scared. Then when I would get to the 3rd or 4th date I was worried it might work out and got scared. It was like I wanted to be in a relationship but then I really didn't. So I stopped after about 3 months (mid march until beginning of June). Tried again in August for about 4 dates but still not ready. I waited until I worked with my therapist and knew I really was ready and because I wanted to date and not any other reason. I met someone about 3 weeks ago. It is going pretty nice. I am not nervous or scare like I was before. But that has a lot to do with knowing I was ready to date. But also, I am being very cautious and not letting myself get swept up in things.
    You really do have to get out there and do it before you know what your going to feel or what it is going to be like.

    0|0
    0|0
    • This is great advice. Thank you for sharing your story. I was actually married and to my highschool sweetheart. So it's like I have no idea what dating is even like. It's scary. I wonder if I need therapy, therapy is wonderful. I feel happy to be free but scared for sure. Terrified. I am trying to not get swept up in things as best I can :-/

    • If you can afford it I am a huge advocate of therapy. luckily my insurance covers it and it is only $15 a session. But I have learned tons over the years. I have gone for different reasons... I am bulimic.. so I went for that several times. Then when my wife filed for divorce we both went. i was lucky to get a real good therapist and he helped me a ton. Sometimes you need to try several before you find one that fits you. so after 3 or 4 sessions if you have any uneasy feeling, then you need to ask for a different therapist.
      Once the divorce was final and I stopped trying to fix me to fix the marriage I realized anyone I find will have to take me as I am. I was in such a co-dependent relationship I will just not go back to that. So I went back to the woman I saw for years a while back. Because I needed someone to help me with dating. And I wasn't going to talk to a 70 yr old man about sex lol... She has helped me a ton.

What Guys Said 4

  • I am, to the point where I push girls away when I feel I am starting to get attached. After being cheated on a few times and having girls sleep with me in spite of the fact that they had boyfriends or were engaged makes me feel the risk of trusting someone and getting hurt is to high.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I am doing this to someone right now and I'm trying so hard not to. I wasn't cheated on, and I'm sorry that happened to you. I was with the wrong person way too long and it's just been nice to be free

  • Yes cause there's so much infidelity and it seems like you give your heart to someone and end up getting hurt

    0|0
    0|0
  • With all the bullshit that goes into some of them these days, the lack of trust, respect, communication and loyalty, yeah. I'm really not that eager to try again at the moment after the last time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh yes I am afraid because other people can ruin it for me.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • meeee :(

    like, i know i can care for someone 100%, and want to help them, keep them happy, and be there for them through everything. but i can't really believe that anyone would want to do that for me, or that they'd have the patience to try to get to know me all the way. i evade a lot and i'm awesome at it. but i kind of need someone who like... wouldn't let me get away with avoiding things that make me uncomfy, even if i react badly. I don't know how to phrase this properly. lol. basically, get to me while i'm still mad, don't let me calm down and get distant. because then there's no point, i burn bridges quickly.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes, yeah I have. Think of all the opportunities you could be passing by because of that fear though. Instead of allowing something like that to hinder your life experiences, let it be your motivation.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yep, Big time, after my recent break up, relationships hurt a lot.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm not so much "afraid" as I am annoyed and totally turned off by "relationships'. I can take care of myself. In. EVERY. SINGLE. WAY.
    I don't like the annoyance of someone asking me what I'm doing and being accountable to someone else and all that stupid bull shit..

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's how I feel too. It's been so nice to be free. Now this guy I like and I don't know why and I'm afraid an don't want to answer to anyone. Then it's just changing already. It's weird. I almost want to just leap into it. I have been that strong independent woman 3 years now. It has been wonderful. And if it has to be, will be wonderful again. So afraid though :-/

    • Show All
    • Lol the place im leaping from is like absurd, I'm only just thinking of giving this guy my time of day! Part of me is curious if I've glossed him over in my head. I'll be honest I hope the hell that's true. It very well could be. If I'm ever truly ready or in a future situation I just wanna know from experience these things. Ughhhh :-(

    • Experiments are fun! Just be careful! :D

  • I'm not necessarily afraid of relationships in just afraid of fully committing myself to someone and they completely fuck me over. Then being heartbroken. But I guess in a way you have to take risks with things. But if it doesn't feel right then dont do it. Listen to your own intuition.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...