Should I lose weight for girls or should they accept me?

I am slightly overweight and am wondering which I should do. Should I lose weight so girls will find me better looking? Or find someone who will like me how I am then lose weight for her once we're together? I also plan on working out then eventually having a six pack.

Updates:
Should I meet someone first then lose weight? Will I be more likely to meet someone who likes me rather than just my looks/body?
I plan on losing weight and getting fit anyway

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When you are single is definitely the time to lose weiggt and get fit. You have the time and motivation then.

    Trust me, going into a relationship is a time when people tend to put on weight, not lose it. You feel more relaxed and less concerned with looking good, you have less time and less control over your diet (dinner dates and eating together generally tends to screw up a diet plan). There is evidence that men's hormone balance even changes, they produce less testosterone when in a relationship, which makes gaining muscle mass more difficult.

    Get fit single, then trying to stay as fit in a relationship will be the challenge then.

    And let's be honest, isn't this 'find someone before I lose weight so I know they like me for who I am' thing just a little bit pompous? Most attraction is not rational, it's primal and instinctual. Just because someone wasn't as attracted to you when you were carrying round a spare tyre doesn't automatically make them a horrible superficial person, it's just what they instinctually find attractive or not. If they are superficial then you will find that out soon enough anyway. Also being in better shape will boost your confidence and make you more attractive to women that aren't just skin deep anyway, so it's impossible to say someone being attracted to 'fit you' but not being attracted to 'overweight you' is purely about looks, because your personality will have changed a little too.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I started loosing weight to be prettier and there was nothing wrong with that. It eventually developed into something I do for myself. I'd say about 70% of my healthy lifestyle is for myself and 30% is so I'm attractive and people think I'm attractive. And that's fine, it doesn't matter why we start as log as we're happy while we're doing it.

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  • I'm working out, being careful about what I eat but I'm doing all of these because of me. Because I know that its the best gift I could ever have.

    Now.. Fuck everyone else :) If they don't like you now, they do not deserve you.

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  • do not do it to get girls. Do it so you would feel healtier, and if it helps your confident.

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  • You should've have to do they if they can't accept you for who you are fuck them.

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  • you should lose weight for the sake of your own - when you feel at the top of your game, it affects your surroundings and the rest will follow. However, if you are confident in yourself and feel good, then you shouldn't feel pressured to do so. Girls like confident guys :)

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    • I'm confident I who I am but not in whether girls find me appealing. What kind of confidence is attractive. I feel like me thinking I'm attractive and any girl would be lucky to have me is just cocky. I like who I am but im just unsure that others do. I wouldn't change self for anyone though.

    • You've got the right mindset :) Yeah, it's more that if you're confident in yourself, you tend to be more grounded, self-conscious and calm, which is what I tend to find attractive - knowing that one does not feel the need to seek accept all the time

What Guys Said 2

  • Lose weight to improve your health, not for girls.
    When you're in better shape, your attraction radius has potential to increase; but it shouldn't be your main reason for losing weight.

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  • dont do it for anyone but urself bro fuck them other bitches

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