He doesn't want kids?

I dated this guy for a few months. Early into it we had the exclusivity talk, and he confessed he's not "focused on the end result, and wants to live in the moment". He expressed clearly that he doesn't want kids. He also mentioned he's been pressured in the past by girlfriends to have children. He's 35 and has a masters degree, good job, but still trying to start his own business. I asked him if he would ever want children, and he didn't say "no", he just said "not now". I broke up with him, rather immaturely, because I'm ready to settle down, and I don't want to waste my time with someone who wants different things.

Truth is though, we have great physical chemistry. I genuinely like and care for him. We hung out the other night and ended up back at my place. The whole night he left his pants on and there was no sex, although he went down on my twice. We cuddled after and it felt wonderful. He expressed an interest in being "friends with benefits." I told him I couldn't because I would get attached and ultimately want more. He respected that and went home after we cuddled some more.

I'm tempted to be "friends with benefits", but my instincts tell me it will only result in confusion and heartbreak for myself.

Will this guy ever change his mind on having children?
Should I just forget him and move on?
I know I should forget him, but it's hard. I need some straight up advice from the guys.


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What Guys Said 2

  • No he won't change his mind on the kids. Friends with benefits should be shooting off a big red flag, because that means he wasn't interested in settling down in the first place.

    I'm sure you'll meet another guy who will be even better for you. Besides there's like 3.5 billion of us males in the world.

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  • "m tempted to be "friends with benefits", but my instincts tell me it will only result in confusion and heartbreak for myself."

    Yep. Plus what if you get pregnant? It sounds like he'd be an absentee dad.

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