Dating Again: Men want Sex Females want Relationships?

Or so it seems...

I'm back in the dating jungle. Can you help a girl out? I started talking to a guy, for a month now, whom I've really started to take a liking to. He approached me and we started chatting every day since. I let him know early that I was looking for a relationship.

Just the other day however, I was on my way to work and got a message from him and almost swerved off the road. He sent me a video of himself *ah hem* having a good time with his 3rd leg. Ever since he's been sending me messages about how attractive he finds me, what he wants to do to me...

I was really looking forward to a relationship but this "D" Pic/Vid threw me for a loop and is now making me think he only wants sex. Do men lead with this if they like a girl. Is this normal? I was really trying hard to leave the sexual talks out until I get to know him well enough. I'm assuming I should just giggle and blush but keep my legs closed until he tells me he wants monogamy. Or should I play along and flirt back to build the sexual tension. What do you think? I'm lost.

Help

Updates:
So, just an overall update. Gees, y'all defiantly gave me somethings to think about and make some actions. I simply just ASKED HIM what he was looking and said the video threw me off. He then shot me back the same question, which I answered, "A best friend and lover. Not into flings or FWB" Once I said that, I waited... and was bracing for the worst. He replied with an apology and said he was looking for the same things also and that I shouldn't worry. I'll take his word for it. We'll see...
So, dude totally VANISHED. Spoke to him that day and haven't spoken since. Not even going to give the benefit of doubt that he may have died or something lol (God forbid) I'm pretty sure me asking him made added pressure so he tried to be nice by responding and jetted. All well, at least I know for next time.

RULE#1: Let the guy know your intensions (vice versa) from the beginning so you won't be disappointed later on.

See what new rules I learn along this dating journey. Wish me luck

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i don't think that a guy who sends videos of him whacking off so soon in a relationship is a person you should seriously consider for a relationship.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Everyone wants sex, the only question is which is more important:

    Sex, or the human being you are doing it with?

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  • I'm looking for a relationship right now, and I wouldn't do that unless we have both gotten into a sexual conversation, like sexting.
    A guy doing what that guy did is in my opinion a sign that he just wants sex, he was too direct.
    Ask him what does he want from you; what is he looking for.

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    • Yeah, asking is probably the best. Well, I nicely just asked him what he's looking for and let him know his video threw me off. I guess if he responds, I'll find out and if he doesn't then sex is clearly what it was.

      Thanks for the tip... Now I wait

  • Firstly, in my view, he is not a gentleman cuz his behavior is not respecting...
    Then, not all of men prefer sex than relationship, take myself as an instance, I only want to get a girl who I love and loves me to spend the rest of life together.

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  • guys want sex... that doesn´t exclude a relationshit xD it seems it´s normal for a guy to send some sort of explicit material because they assume girls like this kind of stuff. it´s not necessarily a sign of him not being interested in a relationship.

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    • Okay... But then what would be the right way to react to this so he doesn't throw me the category of being just another girl to sleep with? So far I've just giggled it off. Or should I play along and flirt back to build the sexual tension. From the advice I've received so far (which has been great) I thought I should say to him, "You know that video you sent me? It made me feel pretty uncomfortable." What do you think? I'm still lost.

    • well you could start by explaining to him that such a video doesn´t do for a girl, what it would do for a guy (guys would love getting such videos from any girl). in my opinion, its the best to just tell him what you think. that´s allways the best by the way.

  • It's actually been always the opposite for me so far. The times that I would start talking to a girl and we were developing feelings for each other, I was the one who wanted it to become a long term thing while the girl just bolted on me :/

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  • Guys don't only want sex, hell I could go two years without sex if I meant I could meet someone I could start a strong relationship with. In your case, this guy does not seem interested in a relationship at all, people don't just do that. It sounds more like he's simply looking for a casual sex partner.

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    • It would suck if that's the case but I'm starting to figure out that men are way more black and white than women are if that makes sense.

  • His actions don't tell me that he's looking to build a lasting relationship. What his actions do show me is that he wants to hit it and quit it.

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  • ya maybe he just wants to hit it.. if he was brave enough to do that it was like fuck it here goes nothing either she wants the d or not xD

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  • I thought it was the other way around?

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What Girls Said 3

  • Everyone is different when it comes to dating. If you are not comfortable getting physical until you are in relationship you should communicate that to him. If he is of the opinion that physical intimacy is a part of getting to know someone or he just wants sex then he can decide whether or not he is comfortable with your level of physical intimacy. Either way it is something you should have a talk with him about. The random video is a little out of line though. Ok maybe a lot.

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    • Yeah, it defiantly was lol. I'll talk to him about it and see how it goes, it defiantly made me feel a little uncomfortable.

  • Ugh. Bummer. That would be an immediate deal breaker for me :(. That shows a total lack if respect, especially since it seems you never gave him a reason to think that would be welcomed. I would (and have) moved on.

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    • Yeah, when I saw it I started laughing. I did send him a pic of myself all dolled up from the back. My dress was pretty short. I guess that's what made him think it was okay? But I did tell him I didn't want him to send me anything too revealing in return out of respect. He said okay, sent a pic of himself all decent and then I got the video the next morning.

      I'm not sure. This sucks, things I thought were going so well but it did throw me off.

    • Well, you dodged a bullet. Delete and move on. It stings for a minute, but at least you didn't get deeply involved. :(

  • He watch too much p*rn that's why he do this kind of thing.

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