My bf was willing to change agreements with me to appease his female friend?

So my bf and I have been dating 8 months now and this close female friend of his likes to hang out alone watching movies with him in his apartment they also set aside one night a week to watch this show together every week. I very nicely said that it makes me uncomfortable that he is hanging out alone with another women in his apartment and then setting aside one night a week every week to watch a show with her sounds like something you would do with a gf not a girl who is just a friend. I said I am totally cool with their friendship but I think that they can cool it down with the movie dates. I said they can hangout but in like public. He said he understood completely where I am coning from and that he realizes it is more of a respect thing than a control thing. Then when he explained that to his friend she got upset which makes me think she is crazy and likes him. Now he is second guessing his decision I'm like hello I am your gf not her whose feelings do you care more about respecting here? The girl you plan on making a future with or a girl who is just a friend? He agreed me but it seems odd that he was willing to go back on his agreement to appease his friend over me. I felt a certain type of way about that. It isn't like I'm saying they can't ever hangout. What do you guys think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You being his girlfriend doesn't make any of his friends' value decrease just because you say so.

    You are evidently not cool with their friendship. Why WOULDN'T she be upset over being told she can no longer hang out with her friend alone?

    You pretty much accused her of being a vixen and your only basis is that they hang out alone and that she has a vagina.

    If you had guy friends, would you appreciate being told not to hang out with them alone?
    Would you like it, if your boyfriend was so insecure and untrusting that he had to ASK you to stop interacting with other guys unless other people are around?

    What you did was tell him you don't trust him not to be a scumbag and if he were in the vicinity of poon, he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

    Your request is insulting and I totally undermines the validity of male-female platonic relationships.

    Why should he stop hanging out with his best female buddy? Who are you to dictate who he can have as a movie night buddy?

    You sound insecure and he's very correct in having doubts about your demands.

    You need to fix your paranoia and jealousy, rather than limit his social interaction with females.

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    • MHO riiiiiight here

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    • Guys hang out alone with other guys because they may need to discuss guy issues. Why would another women need to be alone with my man?

    • I'm sorry if you cannot grasp the idea of friendship between a man and a woman, but it does exist and fortunately for us sane people, it's not always laced with sexual tension.

      Look up "platonic relationship", it might open your eyes a bit.

What Guys Said 2

  • You are correct. He's putting you on "pause" while he goes and plays with someone else. He's showing no commitment to you.

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  • If she's his bestfriend and they wanted to mess around they would've did it long time ago.

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    • It seems like the girl he is dating should start to become his women best friend otherwise what's the point of dating?

What Girls Said 2

  • hmm, I would be reacting the same way you did. I trust my boyfriend completely, but I don't trust other women.. For me it would be really upsetting me if he would choose a friend over me. I agree that they can hangout, just not alone, in his apartment.. that is just a little weird..

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    • Yeah that's what I mean. Like I could understand if I said I didn't want them hanging out at all but that's not the case i think she can get over it seeing that there are still plenty of other spots they can hangout. If my bf said he was uncomfortable with something a guy friend of mine and I were doing it wouldn't even be a second thought in my mind whose feelings I would appease.

    • Exactly! This girl is really being the bitch here. She should understand that he's togheter with you. Does she have any self-respect? Maybe, talk to him some more, and ask him how he would feel if you would hangout with guy friends, alone. If he says he doesn't mind, well then he's not really committed to you.. good luck!

  • I have the same issue. It sucks, I know. I am not comfortable with my boyfriend hanging out with his female friend either. Tell your boyfriend that you're going to start hanging out with a male friend then. Watch how fast he freaks out and tells you no.

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