I had sex with a guy that I've known for years, now he doesn't call or text?

Well I know this guys for like 5 years..we are really good friends,always have fun together,we go out for drinks,eat,movies.we are really good friends.I've always had a crush on him, but I never said anything,because I didn't wanted our friendship to be weird..few months a go,he started flirting with me over text messaging and of course I was playing along,He got his own place not to long ago and he's been asking me to go over.anyways we were on the phone all the time either texting or talking..finally this past Thursday I decided to go visit and check out he's new house,He texted me that day in the morning to confirm and said ok sweetie I'll cook something for you and we can drink and watch a movie..so I agree..so we started drinking and talking,laughing it was so much fun.I really enjoy being with him..we started kissing and of course I was in cloud 9,because I really like this guy,so we go to his bedroom and we had sex,i spent the night over,we were kinda of drunk,the next day in the morning he had to go to work and he let me stay there and sleep for a few more hours..He said I call you when I get out of work..So I went home I texted him during the day to say have fun at your poker party..he was having one on friday night..and he never reply back and he always reply to my messages..weird he didn't text at all on Sat and either did i..until yesterday I text him to make fun of him because his favorite baseball team was losing..he text back Don't start..lol.i was really curious to know if he felt weird for what append..so I ask him and he said no no awkwardness.i guess I was hopping for a more concrete answer..i text him the following OK just checking.i really enjoy spending time with you,you are a great friend and I don't want our friendship to change for what happened..and he never reply back..now I just feel really weird about the whole situation and I don't know what to do..i don't want to call or text because I don't him to think that I'm desperate to see him..i need advice!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you didn't do anything wrong. Normally I tell my girl friends to never give into sex too soon. But you've known each other for 5 years, so it didn't seem like you could have waited any longer. My guess is that, given how long you've known each other, there is some awkwardness. He's pretty unsure of what to think. Here he's always been your friend, but now things are a bit different. So he's just trying to adjust or think it through. One thing I didn't like, is that you both did this half drunk. You've waited 5 years to snag this guy, and when you finally do, you do it when your drunk. Come on now.

    It is possible he got what he wanted out of you. One way to find out, is to see if he initiates sex again without talking about anything revolving dating or a relationship. If this happens, forget him. He's just using you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • No normal man is going to go back to friend zone. I don't agree with how he is dealing with it, but I understand it. - j

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  • Never tell a guy "just friends" thing after having sex .

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  • Sounds kinda wierd.

    I have a friend who I've slept with and we're fine about it.

    The others? It wasn't the same and things kinda spread off.

    I don't think he's dealing with what he wants or expects the best way he can, but just go with the flow and things will straighten out like they always do.

    It is what it is.

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  • hmmmm is he alive/alright?

    was the sex good?

    it is either one of them,

    CALL HIM NOW!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well if he was such a great friend ? Would he be treating you this way? Dismissing you like he has? Sometimes we tend to see things the way we want them to be and not for what they are , he has deft made it clear to you has really not interested not in your friendship, or anything else for that matter, has a asshole in my boo k no excuse for his behavior its not about you , its about him he has not the capacity to behave like a mature man would and should you should not bother with him chalk it off to a hard ,sad experience but its how we learn ,sex is not something people should ever take lightly it should be shared with someone whom you know cares about you as you do about him I believe sex and commitment go hand in hand that's just me thou..Any way you will look desperate and needy if you continue to try to contact this guy , he's not worth another minute of space in your thoughts or your life with friends like that who needs enemy's? Good luck to you girl...Boys will be boys...And there are so many of them in the world very few you will find to be Men...

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  • Plain and simple, he got what he wanted out of you.

    Sorry to be blunt but, have you seen he's not that into you? You know when they say how we as women are programmed to think when a guy does something like that there's some underlying issue? Well there's not, if he wanted you, then he would call you back or text you back or come see you. That's it that's all. Guys use the "Im scared of commitment" or whatever line to keep you dangling from a string for when they want you next. Don't be that girl. Your better then that.

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    • I. In the same boat.. and it hurts,, but I appreciate the honesty! I agree with the person that said sometimes we want to see things in a way that is not reality... something to that effect. I do think I romanticized the situation.. I know my friend will co e calling again, when he has nothing or no one better to do.. but I won't be that foolish again.

  • Update please? What's happened?

    I agree with 'don't say just friends after sex' - it translates in men's minds to "I don't like your penis and I can easily get a better one."

    If he was a real friend to begin with, the whole thing probably threw him for a loop and he needed some time to figure out his feelings. When people get the space to do that, they get much more clarity and are able to communicate their feelings more clearly. I hope he did communicate where he is now at.

    If not, he doesn't deserve your friendship. As soon as you stop contacting him, he will be in touch, but not with a clear message about what he's feeling. Let him know he's too late and that the sex didn't ruin the friendship, being a douchebag about it afterwards ruined the friendship.

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  • How's it going? I'm kinda in the same situation.

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