I've just started an account on pof, but I feel strange?

I see all of these girl listing all their wants/needs, what they want in a man, adventurous, but they are all the same, with the same about me's. I get the sense that a lot of these girl are wanting something they really could not possibly get in real life. I've even found girls that were on there chatting with, only to disappear and never reach out to me. I find that girls have a choice in who to choose, due to the high number of males contacting them daily (someone told me). I see a lot of single mothers/above average weight girls on there. Is online dating a joke/waste of time? I feel most of these girls are just on there for own ego/to use it as a boost? Your experience/take?


Most Helpful Girl

  • As another person said, there are lots of people just looking for hookups on PoF. Online dating is much like regular dating in that it takes time to find someone you are interested in who is also interested in you.

    I know guys have to send a lot of messages to girls and hope to get some back and girls have to sort through a lot of messages from creeps and jerks to find someone they are interested in also. It's discouraging for both sides sometimes.

    Best thing to do is send quick messages that show you read their profile and ask a question or open up a conversation in some way.

    I met my bf on PoF and we have been together over a year and recently moved in together. I was doing online dating for 6 months before I met him. Went on lots of first dates and even dated one guy for a couple months but ended up not being that compatible overall.

    • Fair enough, but I get the sense it's really not in favor for the guys. Im one of the lucky ones where if I send 15 messages I'll probably have 5 responses, only because I am a handsome guy. But these girls get to choose who to reply to, not only that but wether the guy fits into all her needs and wants as listed in her about me. I guess you can call me one of the normal people on there, but for someone like me, I think Real life, going up to a girl, striking up a convo, and getting her number all within a time span of lets say 15-20 mins, seems much more efficient and traditional?

    • Show All
    • Yes but most people online Aren't genuine with what they write, at least thats been my experience so far on pof. Whereas if it were in person, you can tell if you are attracted, and get a straight yes/or no if they are up go out to dinner with me within minutes. Whereas online you spend back and forth messages trying to be funny/witty and draw her attention all while 20 guys are messaging her on the side.

    • Just like in person, there are plenty of liars and assholes mixed in with the normal people. And how do you know that girl at the bar doesn't have 3 other dates lined up this week or has had 15 dates this month? You shouldn't worry about that when you are just getting to know someone in the first few dates. Many men and women date around because the more people you try to get to know the more likely you are to find someone you really connect with, which is what most people are looking for when they date. If your goal is just a date and you have more success walking up to people then that's fine. The way I see it, online dating focuses more on getting to know people like you would with a bunch of in person first dates. So less first dates but you know more about the person going into it. Or at least in my experience. I didn't go on first dates without talking to a person online for a bit.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm up in weight and I met a guy who filled all my wants and needs. We've been together for 5 1/2months. If you go on a free site like POF lower your own expectations as they seem to be high. Most people on there only want sex.


What Guys Said 2

  • They are desperate and yes they just want their ego boosted. Don't try dating online. It's a joke. Delete it ASAP and go to a bar. Meet someone there.

  • Congratulations, you've discovered the supposed "new age" of dating. Now that you know what online dating is like on the surface, it only gets more convoluted and sillier the deeper you get into it. Stop now while you're not drawn too far into it.