I met and chatted with for a while a guy that I really like - but he's not showing significant interest. Back out in this situation?

Last week in a store, I met a guy and spoke to him for a couple minutes. He was really attractive and intelligent, so I remembered his name and added him on Facebook. He accepted the request and started conversation with me - we chatted for about 3 hours. I suggested we go for drinks sometime when he's free and to my disappointment, he didn't agree on a date but just said "Cool, I'll let you know". He did however recommend a good place for lunch right by where he lives, and said that if I ever go there I should let him know. Now, it's been a week since that conversation and this guy is really on my mind. I've been waiting for him to restart conversation but he hasn't. Part of me wants to go to the lunch place tomorrow and text him asking if he wants to come. But, several things are holding me backI tend to easily get attached to guys that aren't completely interested in me and it always tends to really break me - i don't fall for guys easily and when I do, I fall hard. I'm also in a busy exam period and don't want to make time for a guy that isn't interested in me - not even for a quick lunch. I'm also afraid that the 4 year age difference (me 19, him 23) may prevent him from taking anything romantic seriously. I know asking all this is a little bit premature - we've spoken once. But I guess I'm just bad at interpreting behaviour and want to know - we speak once, he doesn't immediately act on me suggesting we go out for drinks, and he doesn't restart conversation after the first time. Should I just take this as a lack of real interest in me and stop being hopeful over anything?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The fact that he eluded to lunch already suggests he is interested. You asked him to go for a drink, which is the norm, but perhaps he doesn't like the bar scene or would rather have his wits about him when he is talking to you, and not be impaired. Some guys just feel that drinks are something you do with someone that your more intimate with and not someone you are having a first date.

    Then again, perhaps he does not drink at all, and that is why he suggested lunch? Don't overthink it, ask him to lunch and find out! You may end up with a new boyfriend and a designated driver :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • nothing hasn't even happened yet. this day and age if you want something to happen then make it happen. don't expect him to be the one to start everything because what people are telling guys now is that its okay if girls chase after them first and after hearing that some guys actually start pulling the "wait for it" card.

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What Girls Said 2

  • From my experience, a guy at any age will talk to you if they want to, regardless of the situation. I wouldn't message or text him, I would wait for him to talk to you. I think you should move on in the meantime. I know it sucks, a pretty similar thing happened to me. But you deserve someone who would've taken advantage of that opportunity! Don't wait around on him, if he talks to you, fine, but if he doesn't then you don't need to waste your time thinking about him.

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  • I would just ask of the bat if there is anything. Playing the guessing game can get annoying and stressful. You don't seem too attached so if he says no u don't seem like u would be to broken about it. By what u have said he doesn't seem to interested but guys at any strange of life are weird. Just ask him so u can get a direct answer ull nvr know if u don't ask.

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