Would you date someone out of pity?

Would you date someone who is depressed or might be at risk for suicide to try to make them feel better?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dating someone out of pity (stringing them along) is something that I frown upon. Completely and utterly.
    Stringing someone along and playing with their emotions is a terrible thing to do. It's rude, deceitful, and could cause unseen complications. Not to mention, that it could harm them emotionally for a long time.

    If they are in danger of committing suicide, and you begin to date them just to 'pull them away from the edge' may work for a short while, but the moment that the relation ends (Possibly if they found out that you were just stringing them along). Then the effect it would have would most likely push them over the edge.
    If you think that someone may be contemplating suicide, then it would be best to contact a local hotline, or help service for depression or suicide in your area.

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    • I use to cut. I'm thinking of asking a girl who knows I use to

    • So you are asking the question from the standpoint of the person who is being pitied?
      I hope she will give you an honest answer. If not, then there are more attractive girls who are even cooler than she is out there.
      Good luck man, I wish you the best

What Girls Said 15

  • No, neither would benefit from that whole charade and I wouldn't want to date someone in that frame of mind, too much pressure. It's not the right way to go about getting a date, I'd be ashamed to have a pity date. I'd want to get myself level headed if I was depressed then think about bringing other people in to my life.

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  • NO, WHATEVER YOU DO DONT. If you do and they find out, it was out of pity it could make them feel worse. Go tell someone a guidance counselor, or someone who can help that person. If its left untreated it can only get worse. So tell someone who can help her. But dont date her out of pity, it ca make it worse

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    • No... The girl I was thinking of asking knows I use to cut...

    • Ok, sorry I thought that you may trying to date someone who was currently suicidal. Also I wouldn't do it for pity, but even if the girl did she may end up having fun a realizing that your a great guy. I mean she could like you, so even if she says yes that doesn't mean her mind won't change about you, she could end up really liking you.

  • I wouldn't if we weren't otherwise compatible. No honest girl would. I might offer help or a good conversation but I wouldn't lead him on.

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  • nope, im not one to waste my time.

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  • No, because it wouldn't be fair to him. That would be giving him false hope. I would feel like I was deceiving him. Instead, I would befriend him and try to encourage and support him to the best of my ability.

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  • Nope I did that before and all he did was bring me down and had me depressed my damn self. That is what happens when you try to fix someone and you really can't help them. I have been meaning to write a take on that. If you are a person that is depressed and suicidal then you should seek help and dating someone is not the help you need. When you date someone and you have all these issues going on, you invite them into something unhealthy.

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    • How do I explain that part of my life is over?

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    • She's noticed my cuts before. I'm ok though, 8 months clean

    • She might be worried but if you explain that you are good now maybe you can work on building a good relationship first.

  • No. I'll only hurt them worse when I dump them or start cheating with a guy I actually like.

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  • Honestly, I would. But I wouldn't recommend it; they need therapy.

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  • Honestly being someone like that never do it like ever or else you will more than likely push them to the edge of life so dont do it

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  • No, because if they find out the truth later on, itll cause even more shit then what they did feel when saying no to them in the first place

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  • No, never. I'd happily be a platonic friend like I have done for so many others, but that's as far as it goes.

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  • No I wouldn't. I dont want to lead him on.

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  • No, personally I think it would just make the situation worse.

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  • No. Because at some point I would break up with them if I didn't actually want to be with them and that would make their situation soo much worse. If someone was depressed and at risk from suicide and I genuinely wanted to be with them because I loved them as a person I would still date them, although I'd consider very carefully what I was getting in to. Never out of pity though no, that's not going to be helpful to anyone; I would just be there for them as a friend and try to make sure they were getting the help they needed

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What Guys Said 5

  • No. Not only would that not benefit anyone, it is just cruel.

    I have been in a relationship (it was long distance) with a girl who has depression (and bipolar disorder), but not out of pity. I actually did not know until I was already dating her. She was beyond emotionally abusive towards me, going from telling me how much she loved me towards telling me to go fuck myself and saying how she hated me. She also manipulated me into staying with her when I tried to end things, threatening to do self-harm and commit suicide. That shit was just hell for me, and I regret not leaving sooner.

    I myself have depression, as well as social anxiety, and being in that relationship didn't exactly help.

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  • Hell no I wouldn't... NOBODY should date someone they don't like.

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  • nooooooo

    i'd try to help her but definetely not date her... i find dangerous such a relatonship

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  • Well I guess I'd help her/him, but not date. It's a risk you shouldn't take.

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  • It ultimately wouldn't be fair to either of us, no. And that's spoken as someone who nearly killed himself a year ago, and has yet to so much as kiss a woman.

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