Went out on wonderful first date. Next day got a call from dates girlfriend!! Opinions on what to do?

Yesterday I went out on a first date with a guy that I ended up liking very much. At the end of the date we ended up kissing. He later texted me to tell me how the rest of his day had gone. Since then I hadn't heard anything from him. I didn't put much thought into it. Around 7pm.. I get a call from a female telling me she was his girlfriend!! She told me she saw our text messages because he had left his "computer" open. She also said that she knew we went out on a date. She said he has been calling her like crazy today. She told me he has been having unprotected sex with other women and that he's a maniac and that I am not the only one he's been with. Which is offensive because I hadn't even had sex with him. She then told me she has been with him for several years and that they're trying to get back together through couples therapy. Information overload!! Would explain why he hadn't texted me all day! He told me he was single and that he had dumped his ex 4 months ago because things dwindled down. I haven't contacted him after this call from his apparent girlfriend. I haven't heard from him either. Do I leave it like this or let him know I was basically harassed by his "girlfriend"? Help!

Updates:
Update: I spoke to him and told him I received a call from a girl claiming to be his girlfriend. He apologized and said he was currently living out a nightmare and that I wouldn't get any more drama or calls. I said thanks and wished him the best. Haven't heard from him since.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • @Schnikies "The ruiner" Interesting. I went through this with an ex and it wasn't pretty. They were "broken up" his status was single she wasn't really a Facebook friend, deactivated account and never announced their relationship on FB. But he was still connected by doing certain things for her similar to him still getting his hair cut by her... Really? If he thinks she's crazy and they are broken up why continue to Associate yourself in anyway with her. She did the same thing because he had the same password and knew them and he wouldn't change them. If you really care why not change the password why give her so much access to your life... (Reading his texts) they are still invovled maybe not sexually but invovled is invovled and that only ruined the realationship. It creates bitter unnecessary tension that he should eliminate. My ex's ex stuck around for the two years I'd been dating him, for a while I thought she had been gone but she hadn't he text back "we're not together, but end up being there for her emotinally, or even finacially. She followed us in the mall and grocery stores. She started making blocked calls after most of her unblocked calls were ignored. The whole thing was a movie. She would tell me how horrible he was and why we shouldn't be together. I knew it was her way to try and scare me but ended up most of what she said was true about him and few things exaggerated truths. I stayed with him for so long to prove to her I could have him and she couldn't stop us. Too bad what she said was true about him. Still a lot to deal with that I wouldn't go through again. Good Luck! Motto: "if you're not done with the ex, you're not ready for the next"

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    • Thanks for sharing your story. I can imagine and know how you feel. I checked both of their Facebook and they aren't each others friends and both are listed as single. I went ahead and confronted him and he told me that currently his life was a confusing nightmare and he apologized and promised no more drama. I kind of cut him off and sent a goodbye text. It's a shame because I liked him very much.

    • You're welcome. Yes, it's sucks at first for a while... But glad you didn't catch heavy feelings for him. Also glad you know what you want and stand up for yourself and to not put up with the b. s. And for that I'm proud of you. Best wishes! Salut!

What Guys Said 17

  • She sounds to me like a complete wackjob stalker. She might be watching his house or following him. Nowaday's it is pretty easy to find out someones phone number. If you met him and he did not go to your house then it is likely she does have access to his computer/phone. So if you think there is no way she would know you, and there is no way she followed you home, then you have to give some weight to what she said.
    you have 2 options. confront him and see what he says. or cut bait and dont waste your time with him. either way be really cautious going forward. I would hold off on sex longer because if he is this kind of guy, he is not going to put much effort into you. So if this is how he truly is he is not going to call/text you much, he will press for sex, and if he doesn't get sex fairly quick he is going to move on to someone who will give it to him.

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    • I confronted him and he apologized and said nothing else would happen. I myself felt scared that she would go to those extremes. We went on a public date. Didn't go to each others homes or sleep with each other. He was respectful.

    • It is certainly possible that he is completely innocent and she is a whack job. But he should also understand you now want to be cautious. As I said, if he really is the guy she says he is, he is not going to put much effort into you. If you don't sleep with him by date 4 or so he will probably split.

  • She sounds like the one that's off but ya never know, she could be telling the truth about him.

    You should let him make the next move. If he calls you, let him know that his girl called you, what she said, and then you should step away. Whether or not they broke up, this is a situation you don't want to put yourself in and there's some stuff he needs to clear up.

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    • True. He apologized and said that he was living a nightmare. Even if what she said was true I would have liked to have found that out on my own.

  • Step away and leave him alone. He obviously has issues to deal with whether it's true or not.

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    • Obviously he's made his bed now he has to lay in it.

    • Well at least he decided he should handle the situation first before dating anyone else. Gotta respect him for that. But I still wouldn't wait on him. U don't know what might happen with that. Move on for now.

  • She could be a jealous stalker and painting him black to keep him all to herself, and not his girlfriend. Until you talk with the guy, you won't know.

    But clearly there's drama going on behind the scenes, so do you really want to get involved, whether she's actually his girlfriend or not? Seems like putting yourself in the path of a tornado when you can go the other way and avoid the turbulence. Maybe let this guy go and find another man to date.

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    • Leaving him to clear and sort his life turns out to be the best alternative. I went ahead and wished him the best.

  • Well... She could just be a crazy ex but that seems like a lot of effort even for the crazies out the

    (You know who you are!)

    Maybe ask him about it but if he was telling lies before there is nothing to stop the lies continuing. If he doesn't contact you soon I would say it was his girlfriend and since getting caught he can't risk getting in touch

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    • It is a bit crazy even for scorned girlfriends and ex girlfriends. I'd never find myself doing that!!

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    • Wow, you're a magnet for the stalker types! Sorry things had to get that way for you. They aren't Facebook friends and he's listed as single.. also, he told me she would still cut his hair because she's a stylist and that he was gonna have his hair cut later that day by her. I'm assuming she read his texts then and saved my #.

    • Your call really but all I'm saying is... I've been in the awkward situation of the stalker thing (ps they call me the ruiner) and it's really tough to explain to people but follow your gut cos people tend to have good instincts.

  • She sounds like a wack-job bitter ex that would stalk the two of you if you started dating. based on that info. But he could just be someone that messes around with every girl as well

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    • I think she's a whack job regardless of whether it's true or not. Thanks for the feedback.. :)

  • just walk away. If that was his "ex" girlfriend. how would she know he went on a date?

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    • She read his text messages, I guess. Supposedly he told me they were still friends and that she would cut his hair.

    • why would she read his text? and if she is that crazy why would he let her read his text. i would just walk away.

  • She sounds psychotic.

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  • She sounds like a nut job.. I'm assuming you know her name? if so ask him who she is. Dont give any more info on what she said.. just ask him who she is and see what he tells you.. if he stats talking about she is his crazy ex then you know..

    If he is very wishy washy and nervous then there might be something going on..

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    • I asked him about it and he apologized and said he was living out a nightmare.

    • sounds like it.. Had a stalker myself for a while when I was younger.. not fun.

  • sounds like she is a crazy bitch lol!
    call that dude and tell him that some ex gf of his is bugging you and telling you that they still go out!

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  • It is possible she hacked into his account. That statement about couples therapy makes me a little suspicious that she is a bitter ex. Always hard to know for certain though.

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    • Definitely. She said that they had "tried" couples therapy and they were trying to work things out.

    • I think you should get his side of the story.

  • If you want to see him again, no reason to bring up the girlfriend. If you don't want to see him again, no reason to say anything to him at all

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  • way to much drama for me

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  • Who painted your profile picture? Wow its the first time I've ever seen such. Thas a Lot of paint.

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  • well it's one sided story, you can't confirm which party (or both) is telling a lie. talk with him before making decision, but if you already decide, don't talk to him.

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  • May be she is telling the truth but if you like that guy then you should better know his past first.

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  • First of all, she lies! 90% of her story is made up just because she sees you as competition.
    But second of all. He apparently lied to you too.

    She exists, and knows about him and about you guys dating.
    So she must somehow be involved with him, while he never told you about anything.
    Ditch him. Not worth the trouble.

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What Girls Said 29

  • It's possible he's a liar liar pants on fire AND she's crazy.

    I dared a guy like this once for a bit. Him and his chick had some ridiculous song and dance I just didn't understand. Shit got weird.

    The fact she knows your number is a red flag that he's still spending time with her.

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    • True. He told me on the date that he was still trying to maintain a friendship with her and that sometimes it's difficult to be nice to your exes.

    • Some of these people actually love this drama and can't let go of it. Tread carefully.

  • It's best to leave him be to sort through all that stuff. Then once things have cooled down, get in contact again if you really felt a connection. It really all boils down to bad timing unfortunately. But don't get involved, that woman is clearly disturbed and who knows what she might do. Let him deal with it and check back with him later.

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  • She said it, "trying to get back together." That means she's not his girlfriend. Get him to work all that out, give you a call. Proceed with caution.

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  • Leave it as is. There's a chance that she truly is a wacko ex that would go bat shit crazy if the two of you started dating but when my last boyfriend's ex emailed me telling me the same story, I found out that she was telling the truth. Not saying that is the case with him but it's a possibility. Either way, not a good situation for you. Be wary.

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  • I would have told her everything I know about him then told him what I told her. Then exited out of their crazy ass drama. I highly doubt she's a stalker. If she found out about you then she's close to him aka they still fucking

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  • Find someone better with no attachments. Too much drama for mature adults.

    Whether it's true or not, if he has a crazy psycho ex girlfriend or if he really is cheating, why waste your time with nonsense? He should be strong enough to tell her to back off.

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    • He needs to grow a pair.

  • Don't do anything beside move on a have a first date with someone else. He knows that his ex-gf/gf contacted you. He didn't set the record straight so he was lying. The guy you went on a date with was presenting himself as the guy you wanted him to be. It's all an act and part of the game he plays and it sounds like he has experience. Even if he wasn't lying you would still be dealing with a psycho chick ruining you days non stop. You know yourself you can do much better and there are lots of great guys out there waiting to meet you.

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  • Walk away from it and be happy you found out this way
    If she's a crazy ex he might try to explain and get back with you
    But I wouldn't trust him if he does
    Just walk away and if he contacts you ignore him

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  • That's too much drama and baggage to deal with. Move on to the next one. Simple as that. Girls can be crazy. She seems like the type to do drivebys to your job and house and try to fight you and such.

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    • Lol!!! Considering what she did tonight I wouldn't put that passed her.

  • Only read the title and honey drop it like its hot and consider yourself lucky you found out early.

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  • If she is really his girlfriend and he's lying then you don't want anything to do with him. If she isn't his girlfriend and he's telling the truth then I doubt you want to be in the middle of that drama either. Either way I would recommend forgetting this guy and just letting him go.

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  • Unless you're a "home wrecker" or "bunny boiler", then I suggest it's a lucky escape!

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    • I think a home wrecker would be for a married couple and they are not married. If any thing she would be the bunny boiler being as psychotic as she is. The shoe fits.

  • I say his not worth the hassle

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  • There's no question of what you should do any more... Forget him.

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  • Did she call you on his cell phone or her own cell phone?

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    • Her own.

    • There still together. Keep away from that guy is my best advice.

  • Get the hell outta there girl and don't look back, think about what he would do to u if u guys wound up together?

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  • Some people take their jealous and stalking too far.

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  • This guy isn't worth your time at all. The gf shouldn't have called you, I agree, but let him deal with that.
    Move along. Don't put energy into him anymore

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  • I say just walk away from it and then no drama.

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    • Probably will do that.

  • It's possible his ex is just crazy and isn't over him and does not want to give him up.

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  • maybe his gf is crazy and wants some drama lol

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  • Well I would call the girl back and have her explain to you

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  • I'm sorry for u baby u deserve better!

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  • Leave it Alone.

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  • She's a liar or at least a half-truth teller but told enough drama to conclude... 1) that was a fun time but 2) wait a long while until you go out with him again, with assurances the past... is past , then I WOULD (not many others would) 3) recapture that gal's phone number, call her to confirm it's The End in her mind as well before accepting any more dates + 4) get all the warning signs from her on this guy in order to recognize the caution lights when he suggests doing something

    Agreed, she can only hold this guy by beating off the competition but obviously she's in his rear view mirror.
    Jury still out of this guy b/c SOME of what she said may be true & YOU could be in his rear view mirror after he gets what he wants out of you, leaving you with only a "nice 1st date" memory & "what happened?" face.

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  • She sounds crazy and he should have warned you. Sounds like she is trying to stir up shit. You've done the right thing now just walk away from this drama. It isn't worth your time.

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  • She's a psycho
    Be careful girl

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  • Shit at least before I dated the guy who just broke up with his ex she already gone mad 😂😂😂 warning , don't mess around with guys who got a psycho bitch ex . Well that's either his way of saying his not interested anymore or that's the truth. Some guys are using their female friends to scare off the girls they don't want to date again

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  • Leave it alone. You don't wanna get involved in that! There are way better guys out there and you'll find one who's worthy of you soon.

    If he does contact you, and if you reallyike him, give him a chance to explain the situation but don't expect the girl to stop harassing you.

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    • Good advice. Thank you.

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