Dating a recovering addict?

i am dating a addict...
he's been sober for a while.. going into the relationship, i told him first hand that his sobriety HAD to come first... i care to much about him that i would not want him to put me first...
i have a brother who has suffered from addiction, so i know how addicts can replace female "sexual relations" with their drugs.. ( i am a psychology major ) anyways...

does anyone have experience with this?
i know it takes patience... dedication and commitment...
i just need advice...

Updates:
i would agree that it's shit.. however.. he's been sober for 5 years.. and gets drug tested randomly 2x a week... so i know he's keeping sober.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a recovering sex addict myself. Long story short, I need a sexless courtship, not a girlfriend. My girlfriend disagreed and the sex is messing with my head. I don't mind short hugs or holding hands but not sex, kissing, passionate hugs or easy familiarity. I told her a few times and texted her a a few times expressing this clearly, but each time she begs me go her place, hugs, kisses, will fondle me if necessary till I break and she gets what she wants. She gets irritated if I resist. I do love her and don't want to risk the friendship if I refuse the sex. Yes I'm at least partly responsible for allowing this to happen. I admit that. But it still makes me unhappy. Right now my mind still asdociates sex with prostitution and I need time to clear my head of it. She knows my addiction, not a secret. She just refuses to accept that I can find it disturbing. I think I'll need at least a year without sexuak intimacy to fully recover.

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    • Aren't we all sex addicts though?

    • Show All
    • As with a drug addiction, it escalated. I eventually started exploring dangerous forms of BDSM before finally having to admit I was so out of control I locked myself into a chastity cage and gave the Key to someone and offered to pay her for it. She did not know the details of the extent of the addiction but did know of it and what the keys were for. She refused payment and decided she liked me.

    • I knee the addiction got out of hand when one day I was fantasizing about seeing an escort with 2000.00 in my wallet and a rasor blade, givevhrr the blade and tell her how much money I had as a kind of Russian roulette. I'd never acted out on that fantash but it was soon after that that I'd got the cage. I'm also now seeing a therapist and thinking of joining Sex Addicts Anonymous.
      But yes, sex addiction is not the same as just high libido.

What Guys Said 1

  • So what's your question? He hasn't touched drugs in over 5 years. What are you worried about?

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    • If he's still being tested, then it's probably s highly addictive drug taking a very long time to recover from.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's shit.

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