A friend you like - hopefully - asks you out. What are things you would like to do for a first date?

I'm going to ask a friend out. I'm pretty sure we like each other.. I guess I'll find out. I'm choosing a date instead of just hanging out ( though im fine just hanging out) bc I want him to say yes he's interested or no he's not I intersted. Do I know for sure where I stand. Hanging out is too nebulous for that purpose.

Anyhow I've never been on a date so Id like some ideas:)

Oh while I'm here what is too soon for her to break the touch barrier? Simple touching not anything sexual. And do you have a preference for the type of touch?

Sorry if these questions sound dumb... Just trying to get oriented with some information.

Thank you:)

Updates:
Oh I meant to put this under guy behavior. Still getting used to how things wirk. Oh well.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Since it is a first date between the two of you, AND your first date ever, I would suggest a date in which you would be able to talk freely and change your "personal zone" as circumstances indicate. That would usually be best in the summer when you can be outdoors doing various activity where you can talk. Obviously a movie or anything like that is not the place to talk. Too bad it is winter.

    A meal or just a coffee gives you the opportunity to be looking at each other talking in a warm place. You can decide while there what to do next. It could be a movie. You would not be able to talk much, but if you seem to be hitting it off then contact is normal, like wrapping your arm around his or putting you head on his shoulder. If you still wanted to talk or were not sure about the touching yet, you could go for a walk. If it is too cold out, go to a mall. Not a likely date destination, but if you two wanted to talk more you can walk there and talk all you want. Also the opportunity to hold hands or lock arms, even the possibility of his arm around your shoulders.

    It really does not take long to find out if some touching is okay. Quite normal on a first date that is going well.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I wouldn't just hang out at the house like normal until you find out first if he's interested but it could work.

    Think of trying this idea. Go to a simple crepe restaurant (or some other fun little eatery you guys would both like) and then catch a movie at a theatre that is walking distance from the restaurant. The restaurant will be fun to talk to each other. The food won't be too heavy Then you can walk to the movies together (holding hands or put your arm around his) and then in the movie you can choose how much touching you want to do. I think the coolest thing a girl did in a theatre on a first date was just put her head on my shoulder and wrap her arms around mine in the theatre while we watched a rom com, but that's just me. I remember thinking "wow, she's into me." and just resting my head on hers

    Another cool idea is a sports center that has batting cages or some other physical activity that can let you two be constantly engaged with each other while keeping you both busy (avoiding any moments of silence you might get on a first date.)

    In all honesty, guys are pretty simple. We do extremely well with direct/straightforward relationship cues. It doesn't have to be much and it DOES NOT have to be sexual. Just a simple hand or arm touch can let him know you're interested in being more than friends. And like the other commenter said, you want to do this preferably by your first date so he knows your interested.

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    • But why would I ask him on a date if I wasn't intersted?

      I have no problem with the touching. Honestly I thought it'd take longer than date 1 for it to be ok to touch. I don't know that just seems soon. We're just getting to know each other and I get to touch him. Shouldn't it be earned... like after getting to know each other?

      Anyhow wouldn't my asking him out let him know I was intersted? Touching or no touching?

      What do I do if he looks uncomfortable but doesn't say anything or move away? Am I supposed to anticipate his discomfort and stop? Or just let him pull away if he wants?

      Thanks:)

    • Well, you're trying to get out of a friend zone of sorts and going on a date usually is for testing out compatibility. You asking him out isn't enough in itself. Make sure he knows it's a date. Some of us are thickheaded. I'm notorious for being invited out by girls for an activity and having no clue it's a date. When I take a woman out, I want them to have a great time. I gauge how the date is going by her attitude and reactions. Touching... no touching... the main thing is showing that your interested. Period. If you don't feel comfortable touching... genuine positive responses, smiling, laughing or eye contact at the right times can be just as effective.
      If he isn't used to touching he will probably tense up at first but let you continue. If he's really uncomfortable (like some of my engineering buddies), let him pull away and don't take it personal because it could be for any number of reasons. You can always ask too. "I'm having a great time, do you mind if we hold hands?"

  • Simple touch can let them know that you like them an help move things forward to knowing how he feels about you too. First date is a goo time to cross this barrier, timing of it doesn't really matter. Even the most casual reasons for touching can be effective.

    As for the date, I like to do something active, sport, exercise whatever really it helps to break out of peoples shel as some I their focus is on the task in hand. I think you get more honesty this way too

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    • Hmm yes Id like to do something active but not SO active that im nervous I'll screw up and look silly. And nothing where we go up one at a time ( ill get performance anxiety)

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    • True but don't be worried about embarrassing yourself or looking silly, it can be super cute

    • I won't feel cute I'll feel lame. I diont like making mistakes physically. And if he finds it cute that would be even more uncomfirtabke.

  • These are all things that depend on the couple. It's something that matters to him.

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    • Yeah but we've never gone out so I have no idea. We're not a couple it'd be our first date. I just want some deas. Maybe we could both come up with a few things then choose from a bag or something. Since we dk each other in a dating capacity :)

    • I recommend a passive production (play/movie/performance) than an active one (games/intense activities) simply because it gives you something to talk about when it's done, doesn't exhaust you, and gives you the opportunity to lay on him. Because that sounds like what you want to do.

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