Do guys view me as undatable?

I have been single for over 3 years now. I'm not a hermit crab and stay in every weekend. I go out and I was voted the life of the party for my class. I have green eyes, blonde hair, and am 5'9. I don't think I'm that bad looking but I don't understand why I have been single for so long without one guy trying to make a move. I am intellegent, out-going, funny, and athletic enough that I play college volleyball. I just am at a point in my life where I am wondering what I am doing wrong around guys which don't get me wrong I have lots of girl and guy friends but no guy that has tried come after me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you tried going after guys instead?

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    • Second this, this is 2015.

    • Show All
    • @Tokana: Yeah I get that. I just think it's funny that some guys want girls to make the first move, but then when it actually happens they're thrown for a loop.

    • It's all in the presentation @Tokana , some of us (Like you,) wouldn't like it. I personally would, others's would, and some others wouldn't. It's all personal preference.

      Slutty if she's all up on him trying to get sex, but she's just interested in actually dating a guy. What's the harm in asking a guy out to coffee or, hell, after a game walking up to a guy friend she is interested in and asking if he wants to go and just, walk around campus for a bit. See if something spontaneous happens. (like coffee or dinner somewhere random, or laying down on a hill or some shit, am I being a hopeless romantic again?) ANYWAY I agree with @musicbrain5

What Guys Said 77

  • My gf was single for 6 years before we met (she even started a blog about how she hadn't had sex for so long; she was close to your age range). Have patience, be social, and if you meet a really cute guy, ask him out to coffee!

    But don't settle.

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  • its prob your ability to flirt... you might not be recognizing their attention or giving off the right vibes... if a man is talking to you he's interested in you... show interest in him by smiling and looking at him... be close... 2 feet isn't close about a foot shows a desire to be closer to him... that crowd u see at school hanging out isn't close enough... flirt... smile... laugh... show your having a good time and he might pick up on them things and gain confidence to ask you out... on the other hand people are dense these days... intellectually smart but lacking socializing skills we need to learn... these days you have to tell someone your interested because their too stupid to pick up on it lol...

    and ya its 2015... its ok for a girl to ask a guy out... its ok to use apps like meetme... meetup... tinder... and such to find people... dating happens because of a closeness to someone... like comes first love comes l8er... become acquaintances through public activity... work... volunteer work... sports... partys... wouldn't recommend bars -.-... after u have a good group of guys to choose from pick the guy your close to and get flirty... build the like and see if love forms... i dont believe in love... just different levels of like... the closest thing to love in my opinion is between a parent and a child... so of course i dont recommend w8ing for mr right or love at first sight just find people to date and build a relationship... besides... people change... what you want now might not be what you want when your 30 just build a relationship to last and your good

    and a tip... show off them lovely green eyes... guys love green eyes

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  • Why don't you make a move instead of waiting for a guy to do it? You've been waiting 3 years, clearly what you're doing is not working. Frankly, I'm surprised if you haven't tried in threeeeee years. Do it, then you'll know how hard it is for guys to do it. Maybe you'll respect it more, that way, too.

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  • ["Joey" technique] so... how YOU doin'? ;-)

    Ok... I honestly don't know what's wrong with the guys in your area, but perhaps your intellect (which I find sexy) is a problem 4 average dopes. Maybe u need Mensa or some similar org, or u can connect through ur college alumni association or some similar org?

    U seem really together in all ways, & maybe that's just incredibly daunting for guys. I know that many gorgeous women have told _me_ that they often don't get compliments... I guess everyone figures someone else is saying it...

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  • Yeah you sound like perfection to me. I'm love it when a female is intelligent that's the most attractive trait to me. And a girl who can make me laugh is just a bonus. Plus your athletic that's a huge plus. But it sounds like these guys you are around may be intimidated by your great traits so the feel like you may reject them or something. But trust me in due time that special someone will drop right into your life when you least expect it.

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  • Try being more reserved with guys you find attractive. Maybe you are trying too hard to impress, even unconciously. The more natural you are not care about making an impression and trusting your feminine nature the easier guys will come around, the right kind also

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  • Maybe being voted the life of the party also means you do way to much to be noticed. Honestly, I am the type of guy now who hates going out to parties and would rather do something else fun or relaxing than be surrounded by a bunch of people. However, if by some miracle I was there at a party and saw you "being the life of the party" it would definitely be a turn of for me because that's just not my style. I'm surprised you haven't been getting hot on by guys who only want sex. Your actions most portray you as being an easy lay too by the way. Totally not what I would be looking for. JMHO

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  • ATTENTION: gurls please do the approaching for once! That one guy ain't coming for ya so stop crying. You hadda approach sumtimes. Guys ain't approach all the time -_-

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  • Wow. It looks like most of those guys are just too afraid to make any moves on you because of you being too attractive. To tell the truth, I would be shy myself if I had a super hot blinde girl with blue/green eyes would try to get my attention. Because I'm not that good at showing off my true feelings in front of any hot girl like you. In any case, you are too good looking but the guys wants to stay clear from girls with good looks because of the intimidation kicking in.

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  • I would go out with you. You've not listed a single thing that would make me not want to date you. Let's do lunch sometime if you're ever, wherever I am. Good luck!

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  • Are you doing things to make yourself available? Going places where guys would be? Not places that are 90% male - guys don't go there to meet girls. Or, obviously, nail salons or other places where guys only go if they've been shot and need someone to call 911.

    Have you considered playing coed intramural V-ball?

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  • I understand this. Basically you want a hot guy to ask you out fall for you, etc. but a natural gender ratio is (in general) 1 male for every 2-3 females SO I say go ahead and ask our guys. In my opinion it shows guts and guys sometimes like a girl who is brave

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  • Do you ever try going after guys yourself? I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 23 because unfortunately girls think that a penis entitles a guy to doing all the work. That's not very easy to do when you're very shy and not very social. If you're interested in a guy, make a move. Believe it or not, most guys will be extremely happy to have a girl make a move on THEM for a change.

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  • Just the luck of the draw. Just have patience. 3 years is not long. Many of us (including me) have been single our whole lives! You should be happy that you have even been in a relationship at some point already.

    On the other hand, if you really want, try being more proactive and go after guys, as the other guy said, if you are not already.

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  • Quite honestly you have to put off the vibe that you're available and/or interested. It's VERY possible that you're intimidating or seemingly unapproachable. Some girls I've known are really cool, fun, and attractive but they don't put off the female vibe they put off the [dude] friend vibe.

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  • Be friendly to guys you like. I'm the guy who wouldn't approach a really attractive girl. If you would say high to me however, just introduce yourself, I would most likely take the hint that you at least wanna be friends. If you are friends with guy you like he may be assuming you'd never be interested in him and won't ask. In this case you'd have to talk to him.

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  • You were voted life of the party. That's good, that's great in fact. But you say you're not a hermit crab, yet you stay in every weekend. Here lies your problem.

    That is what I'd call a hermit crab. For a girl in her, I'm assuming college years, that behavior is quite introverted. If the life of the party stays in every weekend, then the party has no life. How can guys see how awesome you are if you don't get out there and show em :)

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  • I think you might be suffering from Prom Queen Syndrome. Guys don't view you as undatable--they're afraid to approach you because they think you'll see them as below you. Try asking one yourself, or at least hinting.

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  • maybe you dont like the guys that like you or something cus I've never heard of a girl not being picked up on. maybe guys are intimidated surround yourself around confident guys, go getters maybe athletes who are very attractive. i would try to date u regardless of your height just based on your characteristics but im a go getter.

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  • Have you ever thought that you are being hit on, but you are turning them away. Are you looking for Mr Perfect and not finding him?

    Or perhaps you are so hot that a lot of guys are afraid to approach you because they don't want the rejection.

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  • same goes for me, Im Captian of my wrestling team and have been very succesful in my season ( going undefeated in duals and tournaments, and placeing first in league finals) I also coach baseball for little kids which i would think women find attractive, I have amazing grades, i am super approachable, and i know everyone in my school, But a lot of the girls i like do not like me. itss not because of me, or you. The reason for this is because we cannot automatically think that because we are succesful that we get any girl or guy that we want. You have to actively pursue a mate just like anyone else. I found in most cases, that the ladie was just to shy to talk to me.

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  • Life of the party is a turn off for the type of guy who would want a real relationship.

    If you're out and just hanging out with the ladies and not all over the dance floor, you have a better chance of being approached by a suitable man.

    unless you wanna fling, than hit the middle of the dance floor.

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  • Are you too beautiful that guys are too scared to ask you out? They might think you are out of their league - you are too good for them. Might I suggest you pursue and ask them? I know it may not be traditional, but if you want love, you may need to do that.

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  • Sweets, i have been single for 18 YEARS. you think 3 years are long, but you have no idea what long is. in my 18 years I've never been asked out or went on a date. but then again, I'm not like you, I'm not perfect and i am ugly. oh sorry, what the hell do you care about me. as long as your question gets answered, right? well here is my answer: "stfu" little miss perfect has no idea what 'being single for a long time' means.

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    • Sounds like your a little lonely. So's she. But she's being proactive about it and not looking at the situation like there's no hope. She's doing something about it.

      What are you doing?
      Going around and trying to make other people unhappy as well with your negativity?

      That's the same thing as bullying, I'm not happy so you can;t be either.

      Life isn't fair, MAYBE you are the ugliest person on the planet and there's no hope for you, doesn't mean no one else shouldn't have hope and want, if not get something more.

      A little positivity would go a long way for you.

    • fuck off and drop dead.

  • Honestly it could be that your intimidatingly attractive or the opposite... or you could be just a giant bi$&... It's hard to say with out seeing a pic or knowing you personally but what you can do is take the initiative don't throw your self on the guy but striking up a convo and or knowing how to flirt will def make a huge difference if you have to chase him, don't... But I can tell you right now being nice and smiling a lot laughing at the little things, those are some small things you can try out o and DONT BE SOCIALLY AWKWARD

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  • Because they have zero clue that you're interested in any of them, obviously.

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  • Maybe you're intimidating, guys are afraid of asking the hottest girl in the party out, because they're most likely to be rejected, what they don't know is that the hottest girl is the loneliest, make yourself available, show them that you are nice and wouldn't hurt anybody and everybody will start asking you out.

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  • No picture, so hard to tell. Based on your words though if you feel sth's wrong... then there probably is. In how you relate with the world at least, right?

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  • Yeah like most people here said the guys think your out of their league or figure you already have a boyfriend, no one like rejection

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  • It could be that guys are intimidated by you, or you may not be coming across as available... Tbh physical attraction is one thing, but if and I'm not saying you are but if a women's hot and she's a bi*** then she's just a bi*** in my eyes as far as a relationship perspective goes. Try being overly cute it's unnerving, but if you're a guy that's interested in a girl and she being really cute holy sh** it's like baiting dogs with bacon!!! It's not really healthy for them but they sure love it.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Don't expect some guy to walk on over and do all the work. Take initiative and approach guys yourself.

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  • I suppose some guys might not approach you as you seem to be taken already, with all of those attributes going for you... or they could just be intimidated by you?

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  • i dont think so at all! you sound pretty and nice!

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  • You seem like a cool girl, try approaching them instead and see how it goes

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  • Yep, they all hate you

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  • I didn't read your description but the fact is, no one is undateable. And girl, you're still young so don't even stress.

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