I've been sitting here thinking. I read forums all the time about shy men and how women don't like them and don't find them attractive. Now I'm a shy guy and have never asked a woman out ever. From what I have read on here and other forums, I feel It's best I stay alone and never intetact with women because I don't want to be a woman's burden because I'm not outgoing. Any other shy guy feel this way?
Most Helpful Girl
Dude, no. No, no, no. Four reasons:
1. "Girls" is a very broad term. There are girls who like burly guys and girls who like string-beans, and girls who like athletes and girls who like nerdy guys, and girls who like computer geniuses and girls who like cowboys. You can't generalize and say, "Girls don't like shy guys." Unless you know every girl out there, you have no way to make that a valid claim.
2. I have a crush on two guys right now... One is a big flirt, confident, athletic, and basically the guy half the girls who know him are crushing on. The other one is... wait for it... a shy guy who also happens to be very cute, smart, hardworking, and sweet. I find both attractive for different reasons. So there. Your claim that girls don't like shy guys is false.
3. A guy a recently met, who happens to be one of the most shy guys I've ever met, is someone I really enjoy talking to. I'm shy, too, and I love drawing out other shy people... because there's so much there... shy people have so much to contribute. I'm guessing you're the same way... and that means that some lucky girl will get to know you like very few people ever do. That's not a burden. That's a privilege.
4. I'm going to begin this last point by saying again that I am shy. I came to college last year as a painfully shy girl who struggled to make friends and find my place. On that basis, I am allowed to say my next sentence:
Shyness is an emotion and emotions don't have to control your life. Feeling shy is not something we get to control. But we DO get to choose whether to be controlled by that emotion.
I chose not to let it run my life. It's been hard, but it's paying off. Want proof? Someone I met in the last few months literally laughed in disbelief when I told him I was shy.
You have a life to live. You are shy, but that doesn't have to control you.
Maybe, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you need to look your shyness in the eye and say, "We're done. You don't get to run my life."2