Question for girls? So basically I'm screwed for the rest of my life?

Let me start off with this... I'm not attractive... at all. I remember when I was younger I'd just be sitting outside my house and girls would comment sqying how ugly I was. Don't say looks don't matter bc we all know it does. You wouldn't dqte a guy you don't find attractive at all. It's seriously discouraging when you know you'll probably end up living by yourself for the rest of your life. It's so unfair how some guys can just walk in a room and all eyes are on him and guys like me get disgusted looks. What did I do to end up like this? It's not fair. Honestly I'd rather step out as soon as possible than to live alone for the rest of my life. What can I possibly do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What it comes down to is the fact that 'beauty' is an entirely social construct. Just look up "the ideal man through the ages". Just because you don't think you're attractive, and some horrible girls told you you were ugly doesn't mean its true. I was told i was the 'ugly duckling' growing up, by my whole family. I never really changed in terms of the way i looked, but I stopped caring, and started trying to like myself for things like, my cheekbones, the colour of my eyes and the fact that in my opinion i'm fucking hilarious.
    I've been in 16 relationships, and am currently dating the guy i had a crush on all through secondary school. You're not going to be alone. People really aren't as shallow as you think. And to be completly honest (if i a little cheesy) Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

    Now repeat after me, I DON'T CARE WHAT SOCIETY THINKS OF ME. I AM A GREAT HUMAN BEING, AND ANYONE WHO CAN'T SEE ME FOR THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON I AM DOES NOT DESERVE MY PEACE OF MIND.

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    • Thanks :) that really cheered me up. Maybe I'll grow into it too. I hope no at least. I should learn to love myself first?

What Girls Said 7

  • I do not really understand this talking about physical appearance that is going on in 21'st century. People are truly becoming shallow about 'themselves'. very good physical appearance was never for all the people through history. yes, some peoples and families are genetically relatively above some others, some peoples are below. But it is different individual to individual and it can be higher or lower. also perception of the attractiveness is not one in all.

    When something varies this much, and when the chances for being higher is lower, then you should understand physical beauty is only something secondary in your life. it might be an ideal for all to have a very good physical appearance but it is not achievable for most near to all. So when something 'secondary' is not 'achievable' what do you do? sit and cry for it? no you will leave it if you have a reasonable mind.

    And you will start doing what you have to do and what you are good at. you begin to live. living is not being beautiful and walking around being complimented by everyone. there is much in life that you even forget about looking at yourself in a mirror for days.

    Look at every programmer, every inventor, every Doctor, every real musician, every scientist of any type. see if all of them are physically perfect. but they are absolutely perfect in their 'lives'.

    do not see yourself this shallow, have a better deeper view on yourself. this way it is only very disappointing.

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  • Maybe you've yet to grow into your looks. Patience.

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    • I'm 17... how much more growing am I supposed to do?

    • Asker- I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but a lot of women find me to be quite attractive. I'm 24 now, I didn't become "attractive" until I was almost 23.
      You have a lot of time to develop.

    • Hang tough big guy and stay optimistic.

  • Those people are shallow dumbasses. Ignore them. Get your own life and figure yourself out. Get comfortable with yourself. You're still young, you have plenty of time. You are no where near "screwed for the rest of my life" because you have such a long life yet to come.

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  • Try not to stress.. there is someone out there for everyone. Plus, as a few people have mentioned already - for every 'ugly' guy, there are plenty of 'ugly' girls too :)

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  • Aww this is so sad. Don't worry, there's someone out there for everyone's. Trust me, I've seen the most unattractive people in realtionships. They just have confidence. Look at Marc Anthony for instance, he's not so attractive but his confidence makes him really sexy. You need to gain more confidence

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    • How could I be confident with people saying that I'm ugly?

  • You aren't even 18. Do you have any idea how awkward looking some people look at that age? You are going to change so much. My bf was only 20 when we got together, I look at photos of him then and he looks like a different person. He's changed so much. But even if you dont, when you get older you will meet more mature women, not nasty high school girls. There are plenty of people out there who fall for personality. I'm certainly one of them! If I like your personality I ike your face, I can't help it. even people I've found quite fugly, once I get to know and really like them then they aren't ugly to me at all... and that's the truth.

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  • Make yourself hotter.. Do a little male grooming.

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    • I try. What grooming could I do?

    • Eyebrows neatened up, not shaped like girls do, just neatened up and stray hairs taken away.
      Get one hair cut done by somebody amazing, and make them give you a cut that really suits your face shape and makes good features stand out. After, you can go to a cheaper local barber and just tell them to follow what you already had.
      Dress neatly. You don't need really expensive brands. Just dress nice and neat. Make sure everything is ironed well, and matches nicely.
      Keep skin well, like make sure you moisturise your face age body when it's dull or dry or after a shower.
      Smell good!
      And know, a lot about looks is to do with image more than actual facial features.

What Guys Said 6

  • Not every woman is conventionally attractive either. Not every women looks for conventional attractiveness. Your under 18 so of course it's going to be all about looks. College will come new personalities to be around. After college comes even more. Jobs, the internet, the rest of the world, there's so much opportunity to find someone. Yes, looks are a surface attractor, but it's not everything.

    But the thing is, is it worth looking for. Loneliness should be the last thing on a persons mind at your age. I know I'm not one to judge because I'm all about the loneliness and living and dying alone as well. But those are my problems. Focus on your other interests. Focus on your life after high school. People are attracted to interests and passion more than looks. Yes looks often bring people in, but all you have to do is find a way to use your interests to bring them in.

    Everyone fails more than they succeed. Everyone finds less people that want to be with them and more that don't. If you focus on the success of others and the failure of yourself, you will most likely always be sad. I'm not saying to always focus on other's failures. Once you see your own success, gaining confidence and maturity, then you can see other's success and not bring yourself down.

    So focus on your interests, passions, and happiness. Write down your success and read them til they are etched in your brain. Once you have that, you can focus on other's more. I hope this answered your question some. If you have more questions let me know.

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    • But still... I can't help but think. So I shouldn't think about it and focus on me instead?

    • Yeah it's hard to get it out of your head. But you can't let negative stuff control your emotions and actions. The more you think about the bad stuff, the longer time seems to feel. The more you focus on the good stuff, time will float like a gentle breeze. Then all you have to do is see where your interests take you.

      Yeah focus on yourself first. I'm not saying to be rude or offensive to others. You have to be able to entertain and support yourself. Everyone needs help along the way, but sometimes we have to dig down and solve our own problems. No one truly knows how another person feels.

  • You're ugly?
    Well so are hundreds of millions of women. Find yourself a match and have your happily ever after.

    Also, make the most out of your appearance. Dress nice, be well groomed, workout, etc...

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    • Thanks. This helped. I workout sometimes... I should really do more. Maybe new clothes would make an improvement though. I'll try it and see. Thanks

    • I'd advise posting a pucture of yourself in here and letting people give you some advice on ways you can improve.

  • dude... embrace yourself instead of feeling ugly ;-)

    you won't go anywhere if you keep on thinking that way

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  • How young was young? And how do you know you can't improve on your looks?

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  • I'm willing to bet there's something you can work on that you're not seeing.

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  • Your not the only one alone there a lot of guys have this problem an honestly I know a guy who took his. own life over it because he was bullied because of it. Also the biggest lie is confidence is key cause its not no matter what girls say its. looks it always has been looks an it will never change

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    • I wasn't bullied bc of it but no one made an effort to keep it a secret that I was the ugliest one in our class. So you're saying that I AM screwed bc really it's looks that matter first?

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