Why are so many people only about casual dating today?

Most people seem to want cheap dates, and I don't mean that in terms of money or cost. They want someone that may be physically attractive, but beyond that, they tend to be these diluted, watered-down individuals that lack any real substance or longevity. Someone who is fun for a little while, but in the end, is easy to part ways with.

How is this fair for the people that live as best as they can each and every day? We're seen as boring, serious, weird, over-achievers, or some other odd variation of these, even if it's not actually true. Half of the traits I mentioned aren't even bad, rather, being serious or hardworking are quite obviously good things, but what I'm trying to say is that it feels like you have to dumb yourself down for most people in order for them to find you fun or interesting (at least in the immediate sense). People spin these traits off as being bad.

Then the ideals of marriage and finding a true love are seemingly endangered now. All people care about these days is having fun and I just have to wonder what dating short-term actually does for a person. How can there be any real benefit from it that will enhance who you are as a person, in any valuable way?

I've learned to be ok with being single, but when I'm going through life living every day the absolute best way that I can, being positive, working a good job, planning for the future, taking full responsibility for my actions and making calculated decisions and showing sensitivity for others' feelings... at the same time, it really kind of just sucks being left out in the cold, going through life unnoticed. It feels like girls don't seem to even want to notice you either because you're not the guys that's the #1 life-of-the-party in their little "party circle," who isn't even going to matter in a couple of year's time anyway. Wonderful priorities there.

Updates:
You can dream about that perfect girl all you'd like, but when she's out there choosing that watered-down social life where people come and go, as if people are disposable, how do you even expect to fit into or make an impact on her own equation? You can be looking for her but chances are, she's not looking for you.
Another thing... people try to mask their faults, or do what's trendy just to fit in. Just speaking from myself, I have my faults, my quirks, and all of these little things about me that make me different than anyone else, and I mostly embrace them. So where all the "cool" people think that I'm probably some weirdo that is into things that honestly aren't even that weird lol, I'm just "doing me" and it's honestly working out really well, just aside from lacking a great social life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I ask myself that same exact question. I am like the black sheep out of all my friends because I don't date just to say that i'm dating. I prefer to take my time and get to know someone who I know is worth my time and wants what I want. I'm still a virgin. Never been on a real date or anything and people act like it's a crime. I've learned to deal with it. I've learned to be happy while i'm single as well. People call me stuck up but I don't care. I know who I am. I am traditional in lots of ways. I like to be courted and treated with respect. I don't like to party, I don't like doing "normal" teen things and people think I am crazy. I think I am mature.

    I understand your pain. I feel like I am not even noticed because I'm not in the spotlight, being loud, or doing dumb things. But, until I can find someone who compliments me, someone who can teach me new things, and help me understand in a new way... I will be single. I've learned to deal with it.
    Good Luck to you though, you seem really cool and you have your head on straight!

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What Girls Said 2

  • True, honestly in this time, everyone's mostly just looking to either show-off or use others as toys, once they're done with their fun, they'll throw them away. Yes, dating someone attractive is a bonus, most people do care about appearances after all, but what's the point if their personalities are shit, right? But most, girls and boys alike, care about their reputation or their own happiness without considering anyone else's. They lie and deceive you to make you think that they actually care about you, and say, maybe they do, but it's only temporary. Kind of sucks, to be honest, but I think you'll find someone. There are many sincere and fun individuals out there! Good luck!

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  • I agree if your not wild people assume dull an toss you aside makes dating a
    Minefield :((

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What Guys Said 5

  • To put it blunt, people are absolute cowards with their emotions. "Fear of getting hurt" is a fucking plague these days.

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  • Well honestly with the way a lot of women are these days I don't want to get married.

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  • Society is becoming anti-commitment because detachment is being glorified in the media. Just my hypothesis.

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  • Didn't read your massive block of text.

    As for your headline question: because marriage is a death trap for men, so why should we be involved in anything other than something casual? Not exactly worth destroying your life over a girl. Keep it casual, have a good time, then focus on better, more important things.

    There's no incentive for anything more than a casual relationship.

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  • Society is stuck in a rolling state of clusterfuck which is warping and entire generation of minds into twisted personalities. Stability can't exist with everyone teetering on edge.

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