Why are girls on dating sites afraid to date?

Why are girls that are on dating sites, afraid to actually go and meet the guy who they've been talking to?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Part of it is the fear/safety factor, which is only intensified by the fact that she hasn't met you in person, seen you interact in public, gotten an in-person "vibe."

    However, I think the real reason is more complicated than that. There's a fantasy of speaking online that has a real potential to end abruptly in person. They're worried things will be different. You'll be different, you won't be as impressed with her, things will change. The fantasy will end.

    Plus, women are used to being the ones approached. They know that if you approach her in person, speak with her for a few minutes and then ask her out, you're interested in everything you've seen and heard so far. This is comforting to a woman, and a knowledge we get used to. We know that men are a take it or leave it on the spot kind of species. Meeting online means you haven't seen us in person, talked to us in person, or decided you like us in person. That can be a scary thing to go test out for a woman once we've gotten to know you and decided we like you.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Meeting someone online is always a major gamble, let alone dating them.
    Even if you get along well, sometimes people are very different in person than they are online. Not to mention it's a lot easier to lie about yourself or hide things when you're only using the Internet to communicate and get to know each other.

    Basically, this takes a high level of trust... people being wary is not all surprising, man or woman.

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    • Well we were talking by email, then by text. We agreed to meet in a very public place for the first time, and she never showed; this was the second attempt.

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    • Talking on match. com for 2 weeks, and no on phone or video.

    • Oh boy, only two weeks! I'd be hesitant to meet up too, especially considering she probably barely even knows what you look like... no phone or video contact, she essentially has no proof you're even who you say you are (and likewise how do you know she is who she claims to be?). You need to give this more time, get to know her better, build up some trust.

  • Because of safety. Dating site or not, it's never 100% safe to meet someone you met online. They may worry about being stood up and it's also extremely nerve racking seeing how they behave in person, how they talk and make conversation, if they're awkward in person, if they'll like who you are in person etc.
    People who go on dating sites are most likely not afraid to date though.

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  • Shyness, nerves, afraid of being let down after a big build up via emails, nervousness about what he will think of her. Just to start with :)

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  • Most of them are afraid of weirdos. But as I read from your other comments, this is happening second time, she didn't come. If I were you, I would let it go.

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  • because they're worried he's going to turn out to be a MAJOR creep.

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  • They're just schemers and flakers in general

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  • Because most of y'all are crazy as f*! I've been on dating sites before. I've actually met some guys in person. Most just want sex until their time is up in our town. I actually fell in love with one and he turned out to be angry and verbally abusive.

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  • I've actually had guys plan to meet an not follow through, another waiting a month to meet like a chicken so no not all women are afraid as you say

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    • Well I would have to say that he is an idiot then. I don't know what guy would wait that long to meet someone.

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    • I used match. con to meet that idiot. a lot of no shows happen through online dating. Many are single cus they too immature to maintain a relationship.

    • There are a lot of immature people out there, unfortunately

  • I don't want to be assaulted or have the guy turn out to be super weird. I'm all good with meeting up with other girls from dating sites though.

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  • I'm not on this sites but assume catfish is one fear, are they really who they say they are.

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  • it probably has to do with the creeps and predofiles and perverts out there

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What Guys Said 8

  • They're afraid, or ashamed of dating online, or unwilling to admit they'll only accept a rich bodybuilder.

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  • If you're a stud in their eyes, they wouldn't hesitate.

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  • stranger danger

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  • cuz no girl wants to be kednaped and get raped and then killed by a stranger

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  • because your ugly

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  • Er... How many girls have you been taking to and then tried to meet up with online?

    I mean, the whole point is to meet up in person. Most everybody knows that going in.

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  • Like many others have said, they're worried about creeps and murderers. Some are just very shy or they're just not afraid and only want attention.

    What I don't get is how some girls will keep talking to you if they have no intention of meeting you. There was one girl I spoke with and then after a week, I asked her out and she said maybe, im iffy about meeting people online. Gave it another week, then she's like maybe, I feel like I don't know you well enough yet. Then we spoke for a few days and I realized it wasn't going anywhere so I just moved on and talked to other people.

    Online dating can be a joke at times.

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  • A lot of it has to do with all of the freaks and weirdos out there...

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