Guys, or girls, what are your thoughts on chivalry?

Is it dead? Or do you still have those traits?


1|0
16|39

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's dead because you don't see people challenging each other to jousting duels everywhere you go.

    What, did you think chivalry was just about holding doors open for women? El oh el. That sexist notion of expecting men to do that type of shit for women is long gone. Men can still do so if they want to, out of politeness, but it is arrogant to believe that women are entitled to chivalrous acts just because they're women.

    1|2
    0|0
    • For those of you who are ignorant about what chivalry actually is, which is the majority of you, these are the 10 commandments of chivalry:

      1) Believe in the Church's teachings and observe all of the Church's directions.
      2) Defend the Church.
      3) Respect and defend all weaknesses.
      4) Love your country.
      5) Do not surrender before the enemy.
      6) Do not hesitate to make war with the enemy and do not show mercy.
      7) Perform all your feudal duties as long as they do not conflict with the laws of God.
      8) Never lie nor go back on one's word.
      9) Be generous to everyone.
      10) Always and everywhere be right and good against evil and injustice.

    • Show All
    • @Punkbuster107
      1) Chivalry as they describe isn't actually chivalry, just basic human kindness.
      2) You must have missed the part where I said that men can still hold doors, pay for dinner, etc. for women if they WANT to, just that it's sexist for women to EXPECT men to do it because they're women.
      3) You're on!

Have an opinion?

0/2500

Send It!
Sponsored

What Guys Said 38

  • It's not dead. Any man can act with chivalry if he wants to.

    5|1
    0|0
  • I don't think chivalry is dead... but in todays society it has become a dog eat dog world out there. I think the general public has pretty much lost its manners.

    I still hold the door for any woman even dudes if there hands are full, and quite often do not even get a thank you or a nod.

    I still pull the chair from the table for a lady if we are at nice restaurant or sitting down at a meeting.

    I get the car door for any woman (even my mom) before I get in.

    If I walk up to a counter and if woman comes to the counter at the same time, I say... after you. You can imagine what this is like at the bar... I have received a few looks like... what the hell!

    I don't think its demeaning... it just shows a little respect and some manners. In a world where " get outta my way" is the mentality... it lets me take a little step back from that world. If just doing one of these little things makes her smile then, why not do it! A small kind gesture like holding the door for a total stranger is like saying hello, it has evolved into a couple of discussions and friendships for me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Its not dead, but if none of them men you know act honorable and courteous, you're probably going to the wrong places to meet men.

    2|0
    0|0
  • My current girlfriend was very surprised when I open the car door for her on the first date and that I walked her to her door. So maybe not as common, I don't know, but it is just something my parents taught me that I do when I was younger. It is pretty rude when ya get snubbed for holding a door open or whatever else. Makes me want to drop the gentleman act and attack haha

    3|0
    0|0
  • Chivalry: Another word for kindness that only applies to men.

    If "chivalry" is dead, kindness is too. What's the difference between a man holding the door, and a woman holding the door? Why the man is called chivalrous, and the woman is called kind. I mean, there's no difference between one and the other, in my opinion.
    I think both men and women should be chivalrous = kind.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Chivalry is a double edged sword. While I believe I am chivalrous in the way I treat people (doors, chairs, manners, defending people from bullies, etc) it also means I expect ladies to act a certain way as well (see: not being a club skank). I also feel that I have the right to defend both mine and my families honor regardless of the law (Eg a man who sleeps with my partner can expect me to kill him, albeit honourably).

    2|2
    0|0
  • My family is very military, parents didn't have too many rules because they trusted me to my own morals. Only rule on late school nights: if I come home late just don't wake them up, just an example. But being decent and honest is something I take seriously, in every aspect. Whether it's just opening a door for someone or not betraying a girls love. That's not to say I've never gotten in trouble, I've done plenty of stuff that society might seem 'bad' but where it really matters I'd never act poorly. The only thing I don't like is now the quality is so rare that when people hear/see qualities of it in me or others they don't believe it. Ladies especially always think you're just playing them. ( no offense) so it's not dead, but pretty close and it's just getting worse.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I hold the door for both guys and girls
    I'm not chivalrous, I simply fend for you
    humans, that I so adore.

    Being a gentleman comes natural, as long
    as the girls around me, is ladylike. ^.~

    1|0
    0|0
  • I will hold open the door for anybody, and on a date I definitely will but I believe Chivalry still exist to a certain extent. I mean if a guy is to chivalrous he's perceived as the "Nice Guy". And let's be honest women don't want the nice guy. But if he's not chivalrous he's considered an A Hole. Which woman like that, so therefore you will have more A Holes in the world ladies. I think it still exists but it's corrupt/altered.

    0|0
    0|0
  • MAN : i still do the little things; open doors, politeness (if that's a word..). i don't think that is even chivalry. opening doors, helping with women with heavy things. its just kindness. something everyone should do.

    4|0
    0|0
  • I always hold doors open for people if I can, not just for women. I think it's just common sense to help each other out with these little things, it's not like it's a lot of trouble for me or anything, so why not.

    2|2
    0|0
  • Chivalry is dead, because chivalry came from men, in positions of legal power, and was extended to ladies. Such as, women who were ladylike and conducted themselves in a manner accordingly.

    In an age of equality, there is no chivalry. Courtesy and politeness? Sure. Chivalry, nope.

    0|1
    1|0
  • Haha it doesn't exist anymore for a reason they look cool in movies though. Personally no I wouldn't unless it was someone I was in a relationship with, I mean I just don't see the point of doing all those nice things for women like saving their lives at least unless they were my wife or gf, holding doors that's fine I'll do little stuff like that, but the big stuff.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is still alive... not so much with guys under 30 as they were taught to behave a certain way by what they saw on TV... not so much what their parents said or showed them. I have a 15 year old son that is oblivious even though he sees how I treat his mother... opening doors for her, my insisting she order her meal before me, giving her foot rubs many times during any given week, asking her how her day went etc. I just don't see that with the younger crowd as much.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I find chivalry to be very heteronormative. I like the concept of chivalry at times, but its values are rooted in misogyny and inequity, which is problematic from a systemic point of view. I believe that everyone should be treated with the utmost respect regardless of gender or sex whereas chivalry mandates a respect/servility only to women. This perpetuates the double standards betwixt the sexes and perpetuates nasty things like rape culture and male privilege.

    1|1
    0|0
    • I totally agree. My bf holds opens my car door for me & pays for stuff, in return I buy him stuff too, hold the door for him... I think both guys & girls should be sweet & helpful with each other.

  • its mostly dead when it comes to the religious part of it but personally i uphold the old fashion manners like opening the door, flowers on Monday, hats off at the door and at the table, standing up for your love, family and friends, but i think some things to do with "chivalry" are just archaic and should have went with racism.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Individual guys can still act chivalrously as long as they aren't conspicuous because it's not really socially acceptable. It's seen as condescending.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I still hold the door open for girls.

    3|1
    0|0
  • I still like to hold open the doors for girls and stuff like that but I don't think it's very common for other guys my age... :/

    1|1
    0|1
  • I used to treat girls like royalty but after a few break ups, I don't anymore.
    To me, girls are human and they never really cared for being treated like royalty all the time.
    The most I do now is respect her wishes and open the car door for her.

    0|1
    0|0
    • This is how my bf was until he met me. And I treat him like royalty too. Don't give up. You really will find someone who deserves you being a gentleman.

  • Two of my personal rules, always be polite and always be chivalrous :)

    4|0
    0|1
  • So chivalry is like the medieval bro code agreed upon by knights that was mostly about how to be proper about killing the sh** out of each other and not being animals about it!!! So yeah I don't know the Geneva convention mostly neutered military forces so I'd say it's alive and evolving!!! In "civilized" countries at least!!!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I always hold the door open for others, and it's a rule of my family that no one should ever go empty handed when they visit us!! That's just a bit i know...

    1|0
    0|0
  • I used to be chivalrous but not anymore. I treat girls like normal human beings not like princesses that walk on gold.

    0|1
    2|0
    • I like sweet guys. Guys that treat girls like they aren't special shouldn't even have a gf.

    • Lol maybe thats why I don't have a gf. Tbh its not the only reason. Lol at 2 girls disliking my opinion. I still hold doors open for girls but I do it for other people as well. I don't give girls special treatment just because they are girls. The only girls I give special treatment to are girls that I like. Lets be real girls don't want a guy who is sweet and a gentleman all the time.

  • It's not dead but changing I now see chivalry as acts of kindness or loyalty which doesn't need to be recognised only for the giver to feel happy in what they have done

    0|0
    0|0
  • Chivalry died when we no longer used swords as a main weapon of combat. Now being a gentleman has not it is just evolving.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I always hold doors open for girls, but they can pull out their own damn chair and sit in it they don't need my help, girls have never expected me to pull out chairs.

    0|0
    1|0
  • its fine to be that way in a relationship, but its not a great way to pick up women

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's a hilarious and very fun game. Love chopping people's heads off.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I have some of its traits, however they just make me look foolish sometimes...

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    8

What Girls Said 16

  • Is it dead? for the most part yes. I don't see many guys being chivalrous towards girls. The older generation seem to have more, but thats because it was more common when they grew up and i guess it's just a habit.

    A lot of girls act all feminist-y and think that they don't need a man to open a door for them etc.

    But me personally…I love chivalry. I love men to be chivalrous. Having the door opened for me, men offering to pay without expectations, carrying heavy bags etc. I like a gentleman.
    And I'm lucky i found a guy that does all of that for me.

    1|2
    0|2
  • I think different age groups have different reasons for doing it.
    For high-schoolers/college, guys use it as another method to get the girl to like him. Like, he'll do it just to her, especially if he sees she doesn't fall for the playboy thing.
    Older guys usually mean it when they do it as part of romance in courtship. It's not manipulative.
    There are exceptions, but I think that's what it's for. So if I guy does it to me now, i'm appreciate it but i'm wary. Time will tell. :P

    1|1
    0|0
  • Chivalry's definitely not dead. :) It's just not as common sometimes. I believe that it should go both ways though. It doesn't take too much effort or time to hold the door open for others or help someone out here and there. Everyone can help out in it!

    0|1
    0|0
  • It is as dead or alive as you want it to be... depends on what kind of person you are and what kind of people you attract. Those who say chivalry is dead, usually don't know how to treat others and/or surround themselves with wrong kinds of people. I experience chivalry every day both from my husband and from people at work because I show good manners and lady-like behavior first.

    0|1
    0|0
  • if i met a guy who showed me chivalry. I would think really highly of him, luckily it hasn't died where I am from.

    1|0
    0|1
  • Chivalry isn't dead. It was more a code, a guideline to go by. It was and still is seen as a thing of honor. Chivalry in love comes in many forms, doing something for some one you are interested in or love just because you can. It doesn't have to be for a girlfriend or boyfriend either. It can be for a friend or someone you view as a younger sibling.

    0|0
    0|1
  • It seems it's dead but only because young boys are not taught by example from their fathers. It should be alive though because women still believe in it and will respect a man who treats her that way.

    2|1
    0|0
  • It hasn't completely disappeared. Some guys are still chivalrous, just very few of them, unfortunately.

    0|0
    0|0
  • From my experiences, The guy will be this way for about a month then he stops. um don't just do that to win my heart then toss it in the garbage. And with all that's happened, I still seem to be sweet by picking a guy up or taking him home, cooking a dinner for him, massaging him. I don't get why guys can't just continue to be nice even after they've got the girl.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Absolutely not dead.. I love a man with some chivalrous character.. My guy def makes me feel good in this way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've met very chivalrous men

    0|0
    0|0
  • I hope it's not dead! >.<

    0|0
    0|1
  • I still like to believe it exists, but only in a small minority unfortunately

    0|0
    0|0
  • As long as girls don't make abuse of it, it's ok.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you see those comments on the page you will realize that only sexist pigs don't believe in chivalry anymore. And they say oh we don't treat women like princesses that walk on gold and all that stuff but if we say a guy only cares about sex then we are wrong. Do yourself a favor if a man can't even open a door for you or pull a chair for you every now and then drop him like a hot potato. a real man knows how to treat a real woman.

    1|1
    0|3
    • Down vote I meant to down vote you. just because one doesn't believe in chivalry doesn't make you a sexist. I personally believe the decline of chivalry is a direct result of the feminist movement. Its changed our whole dating/mating culture. So you may not get as many doors opened for you, but you have gained way more in terms of sexual freedom and expression. I would call that a win

  • It used to irk me when I was younger (in high school). This guy that liked me would open the door for me and stuff and I just kept thinking about how he was just doing it because he wanted to impress me and how he would stop doing it once we got into a relationship. Which annoyed me because that means it's all an act and I don't like fakeness. Anyway, now I'm just indifferent; I just thank the guy and move along. It's different in college though because many guys that I don't even know do it, so it's not like they expect anything out of it. I also hold open the door for other people though, regardless of their gender.

    0|0
    0|1
Loading...