How do you deal with guilt during a breakup?

How do people cope with the guilt while breaking up with someone? I feel like a horrible person even if we haven't dated long and I haven't done anything bad.

Especially when the other person says you're breaking their heart and tells you how painful you're making life. I'm going through that now and feel bad because I don't see how we could have gotten to that level of intensity in a month.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have no Idea I dont break up with women I try to work it out

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    • I don't know why I owe someone a lifetime after just a few weeks. It makes me feel trapped and sad.

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    • That's what I think too! I keep putting on the brakes and he keeps pushing forward, so I thought I'd better end it now or he'll push it too far before even seeing me. The conflict got too strong.

    • Maybe you should just date at this time in your life and let the guys know you want to date causally and just enjoy the moment

What Guys Said 3

  • You've got to empty out the care cup. Maybe you still care about him to some degree. Just have to stop thinking about it if you have no plans of going back.

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    • Possibly there is no way out and I just have to feel bad about it?

  • My ex just broke up with me and I feel like shit, but I wouldn't want her to feel guilty because I know that she took that decision with both of us in mind (at least that's what I tell myself). Just stop communicating with him, is best for both of you, don't expose yourself to the source of the guilt (him), and don't expose him to the source of his pain (you)

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    • Should I ignore calls and texts? What's worse? I don't instigate them, but feel too awful just blowing him off.

    • I would suggest telling him something like "I don't feel the way you do, and that's never going to change, you deserve to find happiness with somebody else and I don't want to hurt you more, I won't answer you anymore because its better for both of us". That's kinda what my ex told me, I still feel a horrible pain, but I she was clear and I feel like losing hope is the first step to heal. He can't see clearly right now, I think you should tell him something like that and then start ignoring him completly, he won't understand it right now, but that's better for him.

      Sorry for my terrible English I hope this helps you.

    • I appreciate your help. Your English is great, too. I think this guy just has a big enotional need at the moment more than he loves me personally, but it still hurts to see someone in pain.

  • You just deal with it by accepting the fact that life is both unpredictable, and short. So, no sense in wasting time with someone when you could be with someone who completes you

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    • Maybe I could share that speech with the fella, too. Thanks :)

    • No speech, it is just honesty. Like you, it applies to him as well

What Girls Said 1

  • I guess by strongly believing that he will find someone much better than you (in his opinion) in the future?

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    • Definitely. I keep saying I'm not bad, you didn't mess up, we just don't match. His emotional need is much greater than my emotional capacity. :|

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